Trust over control.

After years of involvement in setting up and growing businesses, I can tell you a lot about creative thinking, design sprints, customer journeys, business modelling, finance rounds, and so fort. The most magical moment of it all, is the formation of a successful team. In my eyes, the rest that comes to the table is purely 'practical and mechanical': writing a business plan is based on numbers (or positive hypotheses), a design sprint is a well defined path to walk - milestone to milestone, and business modelling is about filling in the gaps in a BMC framework. Not difficult, just do it! As soon as the human factor comes in, we move to a more complex level.

I was asked by the organising team of Startup Weekend Plymouth (UK) to write a small article about my experiences with startup weekends. I like to focus on 'how to form a great team'. People attending startup weekends do not know each other (99% the case). They buy a ticket and hope to learn something new, become part of a great international community (like minded peeps) or meet their future co-founder. Partcipants are locked in a venue with strangers for 54 hours. How can this work, you might ask yourself?

Questions I often get are:

"Cindy, how do we get the most out of the participants?"

"Cindy, how do we make sure that we (= organising team) do not control the process too much?"

"Cindy, how can we make sure that people in the teams get along with each other?"

When I join the event in the role of facilitator one of my responsibilities is to guide the process of the formation of teams. I spend roughly 1.5 hours on this. This might sound too short to you, but I have some magical tricks. Let me share them with you:

(1) Be humble and real.

I open the event with a personal story about entrepreneurship focusing on my ups and downs. We all know that success doesn't come quick and that we make mistakes along the way. I let people know that it is ok to be open and honest about the difficult challenges. By having this humble attitude, I set the scene for the weekend: 'a real environment' in which participants can learn and explore.

(2) Having fun by making fun of yourself.

Pitching is not difficult as it follows a very easy format: what is the problem? what is the solution? what do you need to make this happen? It can be that simple in this stage as the aim is to inspire people to join your team. You will work out the details later during the weekend.

But standing in front of strangers and pitching your new venture idea can be a big thing. To make this easier for the participants I like to engage them in a game called 'half baked'. Participants join the game by not pitching their real ideas, but fake and funny ones. The more humor the better! As a result everyone is having fun and I get people on stage that have never pitched before. Who doesn't want to have a bit of fun?!

(3) What is great in your eyes, might not be great in theirs.

I can be very impatient (for the people who know me, they will agree) and have clear ideas on the outcome of a process. I know exactly what I want. This dominant approach does not work under every circumstance. In some situations it is the only way as decisions need to be taken, and followed. Let me explain you why I do not use my dominant approach in the formation of teams.

Not that long ago, I was told, by my 10 year old 'bonus' son, that I do not have control over him. According to him I need the support of his father to make him listen to me. He was referring to a previous situation: I had seen that he was struggling with a certain topic and I put him around the table for a discussion. I had asked his father to join us too. In his eyes, I was not able to deal with him on an one-to-one basis. I needed his father to keep him under control.

I was slightly shocked by his approach and told him that it was not my interest to keep him under my control. As I had seen that he was struggling, I had put him around the table to open a dialogue between the three of us. I had asked him questions about how he felt, what his needs were to overcome the struggle and how we could support him. It had nothing to do with control, but with care and love instead. Inviting his father to join us enabled the family members to align with each other. I had explained him the difference between control and care. Keeping someone under your control means that you ask the person to deal with the situation on your terms. Opening a dialogue and asking how you can be of support to someone means that you allow the person to deal with the situation on his / her own terms. I told him that, we as parents, use both approaches - and that it is not always easy to know which one to use.

In the formation of teams I do the same. I ask questions of how I can be of support and I let everybody join the conversation, so I can align everyone's needs, find a common ground and the best way to guide the team as a whole. By letting the team be in the lead of this process, I allow myself to take the role of advisor, guide or sparring partner. As soon as the team reaches a new stage of growth, I can be asked to be involved again. In this way, the team is in control of their own growth on their own terms. This doesn't mean that you cannot inspire them by asking them 'tough' questions or giving them challenges to think about.

(4) Make people realise that they matter.

I studied people analytics (performance and collaboration analytics) at the Wharton Business School and learned more about the dynamics of high performing teams. What I retain as one of the most interesting lessons was that the best performing teams:

(a) listen to each other when someone else is talking

and

(2) know how to explore new ideas without losing the core of the project.

It is crucial to have an 'inclusive' approach - everyone matters. The best way to walk this talk is by paying undivided attention to each other when someone else is talking, to give everyone at the table an equal amount of time to join the discussion, and to ask questions to either understand better or to add more 'richness' to the point someone is making. We all like to be seen, heard and recognised.

Exploring new ideas - without losing the eye on the main elements of the projects - means excitement. With common sense you can, as a team, decide which new elements can be taken on and which ones should be put on the agenda for later. Exploring new possibilities is like being on an adventure together and can serve as a 'bonding mechanism'.

In summary: show the behaviour that you like to see from others ('be real'), create an environment in which learning is central (mistakes are ok), and know your place as a guide to be of true inspiration (trust over control).

On my timeline on LinkedIn I share my travel schedule - follow me if you like to meet me at one of the upcoming events!

Buy your ticket for the upcoming Startup Weekend 15-17th November event in Plymouth here! Have a look at the wrap up video from the previous event here! Follow the event on the social media! #SWPlymouth @PlymCreative @PlymUni

Extra articles to read:

https://www.myhrfuture.com/blog/2019/4/15/my-reflections-from-the-wharton-people-analytics-conference

https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/google-spent-years-studying-great-teams-these-5-qualities-contributed-most-to-their-success.html

https://wpa.wharton.upenn.edu