Trust: Necessary but Insufficient Elements

Once upon a time, a long time ago, I was responsible overnight for a teenage girl (a relative) and her friend who was staying over. Emma (not her real name) asked me if she and her friend could attend a party that night. It was a Friday.

I said, “No”. She asked me whether I trusted her or not. Once again, and after some thought, I said “No”.

Here’s how the conversation went.

Emma: "Don't you trust me?"

Me: "I love you, but in relation to this issue, no, I don't trust you."

Emma: "I've never let you down, Aunty Desley "(I'm spilling the beans here….).

Me: "I agree, you've never let me down. I don't doubt your sincerity."

Emma (with a little bit of hurt starting to creep into her voice): "I don't want you to be worried about us. We'll be home by 11.00 pm."

Me: "I understand. That's not why I don't trust you".

Things were beginning to get tense around about now.

Launching into a series of as many in loco parentis-appropriate questions that I could think up, I asked:

• “Tell me about who will be at the party."
• “What are their ages?”
• “Will there be alcohol?”
• “How many will be there?”
• “How many of them do you know?”
• “Where is the party?”
• “How were you planning on getting there and getting home?”

At this point, I could ascertain that most of the people there would be friends of someone's brother, they'll all be in their late teens or 20s, there will be (at least) alcohol, they didn't know anyone else who was going and there would be no parent present. Oh, and they were going to walk there and back.

And she was asking me to trust her. I explained that it was in the area of competence that I doubted her. I doubted her ability to fend off the advances of a drunken, infatuated, immature young man, let alone a group of them. And it wasn't her fault that she wasn't competent.

How did this story end? Find out what happened at the end of this newsletter.

Research

Conversations with Emma had me thinking about trust in the workplace; the reason most people experience stress and make plans to leave.

Research on trust in the workplace highlights its crucial role in fostering employee engagement, commitment, and organisational performance. Here are some key findings:

1. Trust enhances teamwork and collaboration: High levels of trust among team members facilitate open communication, cooperation, and knowledge sharing, leading to better problem-solving and innovation.

2. Trust boosts job satisfaction and morale: Employees who trust their leaders and colleagues are likelier to feel satisfied with their jobs, leading to higher motivation and commitment to the organisation.

3. Trust promotes effective leadership: Leaders perceived as trustworthy are more likely to inspire confidence, loyalty, and respect from their team members. Trustworthy leaders are also better able to influence and motivate their employees.

4. Trust reduces conflicts and stress: When there is trust in the workplace, employees feel more comfortable expressing their opinions and concerns, leading to fewer misunderstandings and conflicts. This creates a positive work environment that reduces stress and improves overall well-being.

5. Trust is linked to organisational performance: Research shows that organisations with high levels of trust tend to outperform their competitors in terms of productivity, profitability, and employee retention. Trust contributes to a positive organisational culture that attracts and retains top talent.

Overall, the research underscores the importance of trust in creating a positive work environment where employees feel valued, respected, and motivated to contribute their best. Building and maintaining trust should be a priority for leaders at all levels of the organisation.

Without competence, no amount of sincerity, involvement, reliability, acceptance, or openness will enable us to be seen as trustworthy.?

For leaders, when someone on your team is not competent (either consciously or unconsciously), do you ask yourself:?

“What is it about me that this team member is not competent?”?

It’s not about blaming yourself but giving yourself a way forward. Perhaps it’s a development conversation about some training that needs to take place, perhaps they haven't received adequate clarification about what is expected, or maybe it is motivational due to a relationship breakdown or organisational culture. Sometimes, it is because the person is technically competent, but their values are not aligned.?

Trust is multifaceted. Each element is necessary but insufficient.?

Understanding the status of each element of trust can build relationships when otherwise they would have deteriorated.

Next Steps

If you are a leader or a coach of leaders dealing with trust, I encourage you to attend my upcoming Mini Masterclass. In 30 minutes, I will take you through SIX fundamental ways we can influence the perception others can have of our trustworthiness. The next step is to shift this knowledge of various elements of trust into insight and wisdom so that your genuine values secure the foundation of your trustworthiness. It's time to take your influence to the next level. That’s leadership.

What Happened?

At around 9.30 PM, I went to bed. The girls had already said their goodnights.?

Two weeks later, I received a message from the other girl's mother asking if I knew they had gone to the party.

Oh dear. We had many long conversations about trust after that, and our relationship is very strong because we explored it together. Thank goodness it all turned out safely on the night. At least I had two weeks of ignorant bliss.

Schedule a free 30-minute exploratory discussion with Desley Lodwick here.

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