Trust me!

As I sat on the bench of a small propeller plane moments before my parachute jump, I was acutely aware of the personal risk I was about to take.

On the ground, one hour earlier, I witnessed the parachute folding process, ensuring all the wires were properly sorted and not entangled.?

I saw with my own blue eyes that all precautions were taken to prevent what nobody wanted to happen.

The parachute does not?open.

Still, now sitting on the plane, my heart was pounding in my throat. What if? My wife was on the ground, pregnant with our first child. She never opposed the jump but later confessed she did not really ‘welcome’ my timing. What was I doing?

Call it a blind spot. Call it ignorance. Call it confidence on my part.

A year later or so, my wife made a jump herself. I was on the ground with our baby daughter. I could have been more relaxed while the plane took off to prepare for the jump. I had no clue how I would manage caring for a baby girl.

Back to my jump. I’m sitting on this plane with my heart pounding, full of excitement and fear?—?those incredible, paradoxical emotions that make you realize you’re about to leave your comfort zone and learn.

Then the instructor, who jumps with me, whispers the words:

“Trust me!”

I’m thinking to myself, how can I trust someone I didn’t know one hour before? Yes, he made hundreds of jumps. Yes, his instructions were secure, clear, and full of confidence. Yes, the parachute looked secure.

Yes, the statistics would tell you it was highly, highly unlikely I would fall to pieces on the beautiful, hot summer soil of the Czech Republic.?

But the chance was still there. And, I was exposing myself to this slim chance.

The jump was one of my life’s highlights. I loved the magic of the free fall, the moment your parachute opens, the sudden silence once you’re hanging in the air underneath the parachute, and the relief when your feet touch the ground again.

That’s why I did it. To experience the fear, the excitement, the moment in the air, the view to the earth, and the relief afterward.

Experiences mean more to me than any material possessions. That’s what life is about.

“Trust me.”

Going through the experience ensured I, indeed, could trust the instructor.

When was the last time somebody said ‘Trust me’ to you? And what was your reaction to this powerful but fragile statement?

When was the last time you said ‘Trust me’ to somebody? And what was their reaction?

“Trust comes on foot and leaves on horseback.” ~ Johan Rudolph Thorbecke

The instructor needed to make hundreds of successful jumps for me to trust him. Each jump would add to his record and help build trust. However, one mistake and trust would be gone for a long time?—?not for me, as I wouldn’t have survived, most likely, but for those who would come after me.

Those jumps were not the only thing that mattered in this experience to help me trust the instructor.

The instructor’s calm and clear communication during the jump preparation significantly built my trust in him.?

Calm. Clear. Concise. Confident.

He had done this before and had seen many excited and nervous clients. He knew that everybody was watching every move and that anything uncertain, inconsistent, or stressed would immediately impact his clients.?

Most importantly, the instructor showed empathy when needed. He could read the client’s signals and act on them when it would add value to the client, making me feel understood and valued.?

I trusted my instructor, and the result showed I could trust him. Otherwise, you very likely would not be reading this Insight today, many years later.

Trust is not just important; it’s crucial in forming a high-performing team. As a leader, it’s your responsibility to inspire this trust.

Remember that the leader’s number one job is to inspire trust. Without trust, initiatives and projects take longer, cost more, and are of lower quality.

Quality. Time.?Cost.

It’s really that simple. But it’s not easy to build and inspire trust.

So, do your people trust you? Have you asked them that question?

If the answer is yes, do you know why they trust you? Have you asked them that question as well?

What if you think or know that the answer is No? What will you do then?

My parachute jump instructors told me to trust him. His behaviors had instilled trust in me, but he never asked me whether I trusted him.

My answer would have been that I would tell him once we were back on the ground.

And that’s how it often goes. We look at the experience and the result.

Let’s break down trust more with this story in mind.

Here are a few checks you can do to see whether you can be trusted or you can trust?others.?

For the sake of the example, I stick with you as the source of conveying trust:

• Are you communicating clearly, often, and compellingly? Do you err on the side of over-communicating instead of not communicating or under-communicating?
• Are you consistent in your communication and behavior?
• Are you open and transparent? Do you share what’s needed to know and to work collaboratively? Are you asking and open to feedback?
• Are you congruent, meaning your intentions, words, and behaviors match up?
• Are you reliable? Is your performance consistent? Do you do what you promise? Do you show up for meetings?
• Are you accepting? Look, we all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. It’s part of life, and it’s how we grow.

If you want to grow and challenge yourself, you will make mistakes.?

Do you own up to your mistakes instead of blaming others? Do you learn from your mistakes, which is even more important than the mistake itself?

Can you accept and let go of the past??

Because NOW is all you?have.?

Dwelling on the past doesn’t add any value. Accept, forgive, and move on.

Trust is fragile and can be lost quickly and easily. But that should not stop you from showing courage, letting go of control, crossing the borders of your comfort zone, and entering the marvelous space of the unknown.

Many believe that if trust is gone, it will never come back. That all depends on intentions, the ability to change, the willingness of the person on the receiving end to trust those intentions, and the ability to help out if needed.

Take Boeing airplanes, for?example.

Boeing messed up. People lost their lives over Boeing’s need to compete with Airbus and do so with speed and lower cost. They compromised on quality. As a consequence, two Boeing 737–800 or MAX have crashed.?

Airline companies are now hesitant to buy airplanes from Boeing, and I’m sure some customers are unsettled when flying one of those planes. I know I was, shortly after airlines were allowed to fly those planes again.?

You may think that Boeing is too big to fail, but nobody, not even a massive company like Boeing, is too big to fail. Just look at Enron. You may think that trust in Boeing is gone forever. If that’s the case, Boeing would not exist anymore.

I believe Boeing will change. Its behavior and culture will change, and Boeing will be trusted again. It will take a while, but it will happen.?

What matters is whether Boeing is taking all the necessary steps to rebuild trust. And whether others and I are willing to take that leap of faith.?

I took a leap of faith when I got on that small propellor plane. I put my trust in the hands of someone I met one hour?earlier.

Sometimes, you need to take a leap of faith. You don’t always get to select the people you need to trust.?

But if you don’t leap, you make life a lot harder on yourself.

Your turn: Trust me!

Do more of what makes you?happy!

Erikjan

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