Trust matters, it really really matters

If you don’t trust those around you, build trust or leave ….but, first, please make sure you understand the true meaning of trust in business

Trust is Misunderstood.

I am beginning to realize that most people misunderstand the hallmarks of real trust in business; especially as it relates to relationships with bosses and team members.

Contrary to the beliefs of many, “Trust me, I got this”, is a perfect example of low trust. The real message being “Leave me alone, I don’t want you involved.”

Real trust is personified by a willingness to be transparent about every important thing you are doing. Further, deep and powerful trust is a willingness to be transparent and open to feedback even when you know you have some serious improvements you need to make.

The bedrock of trust is the willingness to be vulnerable.

Exposed. Honest. Open. Vulnerable.

A perfect example of trust is when you say “There is a lot left to do, but I want to share exactly where we are.”

Reframing Your Relationship with Your Boss

To understand why trust is founded on inspection (rather than segregation) it helps to look at roles and relationships. Let’s focus on the trust between you and your boss.

Spoiler: rather than reflecting on whether you see signs your boss is trusting you, ask yourself whether you actually trust your boss.

If things are the way they should be the foundation of your relationship with your boss goes something like this:

1. You are more informed about the details and forces surrounding your responsibilities
2. Your boss brings a larger context about how your responsibilities fit into a bigger picture
3. Also, for this to really work, your boss has more experience, and equal (or better) judgement when it comes to the strategic forces affecting the execution.

If your business is anything like mine, things are bat shit crazy. The whole business moves quickly - rapid decisions are made with partial information, and as things change (as they often do), your organization pivots. The degree of misunderstanding and mistakes is usually higher in bat-shit-crazy companies. Yet, the fastest companies win; as long as they adjust and adapt in unison.

Now put that bat-shit-crazy business reality, in the context of your relationship with your boss.

You understand the details and realities really well. Your boss has greater context of how this initiative fits into a larger narrative. Both of these perspectives change at a startling rate. So, you better calibrate and share realities freely, openly and vulnerably. Trust me.

Which leads me to your relationship with your direct reports and team….

Your Relationship with your Team Members

First, see prior section :)

If you expect and need people to be open, transparent and vulnerable then you would be wise to consider a few ground rules:

1. Remember that your primary “value” is both to provide and seek context. A) Look for misunderstandings and provide clarity, B) seek information that may cause you to pause and reassess the initiative
2. Your second role is to understand where the person wants guidance and support, and to thoughtfully provide it. That primarily happens by the person directly asking for it.
3. If you sense there is a mismatch between your expectations and the person's trajectory, first seek alignment through posing thoughtful non-zinger questions, e.g. “What are your next priorities?”, “Have you any perspectives on [blank]?”

Trust is mutual, so as you think about your relationship with those who report to you “you better calibrate and share realities freely, openly and vulnerably. Trust me.”

On a personal note, I still have much to improve in my trust department. I am still uncomfortable being truly open and vulnerable with my boss; I justify it with an inner voice that drives me to be “well prepared” before sharing. And I still dive into the weeds too quickly with my team, I assert far more readily than I listen. (Just remember a good coach, is rarely a good player!)

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And if you “like” please “share” :)

Bob