Trust as a Gift

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” 

― George MacDonald

Let me begin with a question. What is a vital human component that is required for leadership to be present?

Answer: Trust. 

To lead without trust becomes nearly impossible. Yet leaders attempt do it all the time. The biggest complaint about most leaders is the people don’t really trust them, and if they do trust them, they don’t trust their agenda or their ability to fulfill on what they say.

This is clearly a problem. How do leaders typically respond? Often time through a series of manipulations or negotiations and strategies. The result of this is some typically watered down, kinda, sorta, I’m half way in commitment that is no commitment at all.  

We have a trust gap in leadership and we have a trust gap all around us. I have an idea. Instead of earning your trust, why don’t we give trust as a gift?

Let’s be honest, this earning our trust thing is a set up for disappointment, and that disappointment then lives as a betrayal. If you are like me, betrayal is a big hot button for me, and becomes a heavy lift to overcome. The truth is no one is perfect and the closer you get to someone the more imperfection you notice in them. Therefore, the successful strategy becomes to not get close to anyone. To quote Dr. Phil, how is that working for you?

My Idea, giving trust as a gift. How does that work, you ask?

Just like any gift. When we give a gift, we give it away freely to the person of our choice. We give it with no strings attached, and of course we hope they like it, and that is about the end of our attachment. We are done with that process, it is now in their hands.

Now our trust is out there, to be used, or abused, and it is no longer our concern, we did our work. 

The person we gave it too, no owns our trust. The question becomes what do they do with it. They can open it, look at it, say “oh that is nice”, and put it on the shelf. OR, they can discard it, ignore it, abuse it and move on. It could be viewed as a lost opportunity and does it really impact us? I say no. The final option is, they can receive it as intended, a gift. They can then discover it, learn from it, see it’s utility, they can cherish it, play with it, and use it. They can connect that gift to us, and grow and develop themselves, and grow and develop our relationship.  

In giving trust as a gift, we are in act trusting them with no attachment. The work for the giver of trust to do, is to let those who receive it know who they are, and what they mean to us. Can we get burned, absolutely. (see Thomas KR Stovall). And even in the event of getting burned, we have the opportunity to learn and grow our leadership. We get the opportunity to understand and develop our relationships in a more powerful way.  

Trust is essential part of leadership. The trust that is most essential in this practice is trusting ourselves, and taking full responsibility for our actions and outcomes. I invite you to take on this practice, and see. Please let us know what you learn. Thank you for the gift of your time.