The Trust Formula

Sideswiped

It was 9:55 am on some day in June 2011. I was standing at the conference room table, gathering my thoughts for the meeting I was about to run with my team. A couple of minutes later, they started to file into the room and take their seats. With about one minute to go, the CFO’s assistant leaned her head in the door and told me the CFO wanted to see me. Not great timing, but I figured it would be quick, so I left my stuff on the table and followed her.?

When I walked through the CFO’s office door, I could tell something was off. He was sitting in front of his desk rather than behind it, where I’d always seen him. There was another chair for me and one for the HR person. Although I somehow knew in my head what was about to happen, my brain couldn’t compute why it was happening.?

The short version is the same as so many other stories - “Your position is no longer blah blah blah and we appreciate your contribution blah blah blah.”

As I was escorted back to my desk to pack my things in a box and leave the building immediately, I passed the CEO in the hallway. He didn’t even look up at me. What was happening? It all came out of left field. My head was reeling.

I had been with this company since the early days. We had been through so much together. I had always been told the work I was doing?on the culture was so important.?Then all of a sudden, with no warning, and zero emotion on their part, my position was no longer necessary. What?!

The unexpected

Unfortunately, this isn’t the only experience like this that I’ve had and I know something similar has happened to a lot of other people as well.?

That feeling of betrayal, of believing someone values you only to find out they really don’t, of experiencing something completely unexpected, is awful. No one deserves to feel that.?

While being let go from a job the way I was is an extreme example, we have these unexpected experiences on a smaller scale all the time. Someone we thought had our back throws us under the bus. The landscaper tells us they’ll be there to start the job in March and they don’t start until July. Whatever the situation, trust erodes and we find it more difficult to connect with people in a meaningful way.?

The formula

So if we know what erodes trust, we can reverse engineer how to build and maintain it. My friend Dr. Jeb Hurley shared a simple idea with me that serves as a formula for building and maintaining trust:

Trust = Expectation + Experience

When a person or a company sets an expectation based on what they advertise, stand for, or profess to believe - and our experience matches that expectation - trust is built. When expectation and experience don’t match, trust erodes or is more difficult to establish.?

Dissonance between expectation and experience in a business setting is all too common. A company may tout their loyalty to their people and then callously lay off hundreds of them. It may profess to encourage innovation but punish mistakes or failed ideas.?

The human element

Whenever experience is a mismatch with positive expectation, trust takes a hit. But why is that so important? Because trust builds human connection and human connection is the foundation for business success.?

Think about it - every successful organization cares about things like performance, retention, output, innovation, collaboration and growth. And the good ones throw in employee well-being, too.?

Every single one of those things is inextricably tied to human beings.?

A lack of trust and human connection causes us to go into self-preservation mode. We spend our time protecting ourselves from each other, hoarding ideas, hiding mistakes and doing whatever we need to do to survive. All while putting on an act that everything is fine.?

In that mental and emotional state (not to even get into the physiology of what it does to our physical state) how likely is a person to perform well, share an idea that might not work, communicate transparently with their team and leader or stick around for any longer than they have to??

If we truly want to increase performance, innovation, output, growth and well-being, we have to build trust and connection. One of the simplest ways to do that is to ensure that the expectation we set for others is a match with the experience they actually have.?