TRUST IS EVERYTHING

TRUST. RESPECT. PASSION. LOVE. ACCEPTANCE. EQUALS. UNDERSTANDING.

Is where the healing begins and ends...

When I first came to oasis I was completely broken , the idea that life would somehow get bearable or manageable was a thought I couldn’t even imagine at my admission. I was depressed, at a complete loss with my life, lonely , uncomfortable due to severe ocd and addiction issues , malnourished and half way to giving up completely .

I came in on a detox of Valium. Valium made me safe from my mind of constant intrusive thoughts , a lack of self worth , and a longing to feel numb. When I first got to oasis despite all of this I felt calm, the first time in a long time , even alongside the chaos of my mind, I felt a sense of belonging . This wavered at first but got stronger and stronger every day.

The staff made me feel safe and loved. ?I enjoyed food in a different way, and the bonds I started to build felt unbreakable.

More to the point I started bonding with myself, I started actually caring about myself, and this was new territory, so it was scary .

Through intense therapy and group sessions my confidence started to build daily, I ?felt strong empathy towards myself and others , I started building and getting deep in to the roots of my personality, I was digging in to my child mind and starting to understand the complexity of my addiction and where the traumas that lead to my existing conditions had stemmed from.

I had positive and negative days undoubtedly , but my environment Always pulled me out of the bad days. I never had a fully bad day. The change in me was profound.

Ryan and Mandy made me look thoroughly in to the incentives behind my actions and helped me understand the deepest sides of myself that I’d masked for so long.

I felt intense emotions I didn’t quite understand, as for years I’d been running from them. In Oasis I learnt to put these to productive use . As weeks went by I began actually liking my own company , I started to feel compassion towards myself . Strong compassion. I didn’t feel the need to disassociate myself out from the world , I wanted to get better , I could finally imagine a life without the need to feel numb .

I felt such intense love to the people around me, they became my home, and I cannot thank them enough for being such a tremendous part of my support network, the connections I made were real and powerful , but most of all , I had respect for myself , real respect .

Oasis made me realise I deserve love and I deserve to give myself that love too , if I can make pure friendships like I did in oasis , I can make them anywhere . I started to learn my character more and more, I’d never given myself the opportunity to ever learn me, and I started to realise I actually liked me, I am fun, bubbly and caring without substances , the gratitude I felt towards the community became stronger and stronger, I felt like I was a part of a big family that all wanted the best for me and vice versa. As my experience drew closer to the finish line my mind became clearer, I started to enjoy being outside more and more, something I’d struggled with for years, I was no longer lazy , I’d found peace within my mind , and for once in my life I had intense excitement towards what my future held, and still holds to this day .

I was getting scared to leave at this point, I’d cry a lot , I’d think of how grateful I was for what I considered such a magical experience. ??Ryan once told me when I was mentioning my need to help others that If I had just been rescued from drowning why would I go back in to save the other drowning people?, I have to leave that to the life guards or it’s a lose lose situation . This stuck with me and always will, ironically I’ve helped others with this small but powerful analogy since.

No one could completely irradiate my love and care for other people, but that wasn’t what was implied , the point was to put myself first , as I was still so early in to recovery. Oasis was my life guard . And forever will be.

I now live a happy life in London, I’m grateful to be alive , I love time in my own company, I no longer feel codependent of others as I have peace within my own mind . I have hope in all areas of my life , and despite having inevitable bad days, I am able to manage my emotions in ways I thought simply impossible . I understand I am not invincible , and this is just the start of a life long journey , but oasis resuscitated me from a hole so deep I didn’t see an exit . And I will be forever in debt to them for that on an emotional level. My experience will be different from the next person as everyone handles life inherently different . But to me it was my favourite life experience yet .

Massive Thanks to all of the amazing staff and the people I met that helped me get to where I am today.

Here’s to new beginnings .