Trust, Contracts, and Challenge: Choosing the Right Coach

Welcome to No.5 in our series of Newsletters authored by our Director of Coaching, Keith Stopforth. In this edition, we consider what you should look for when choosing a Coach or Coaches to work with You, Your Team, or Your Organisation.

Keith will be sharing:

·???????? The Importance of Trust

·???????? The Coaching Contract

·???????? What should Challenge look like in a coaching relationship?

·???????? Call to Action

The Importance of Trust

For me, the No.1 criteria when?choosing?a?Coach?is Trust. To fully embrace the work of?a?Coach,?we must be?able to Trust?and feel Trusted in our interactions with them.

Trust is a crucial component, especially when choosing a coach. It's the bedrock of a productive and transformative coaching relationship.

But how do we measure this?

Green (2000) outlined the Trust equation?and identified three key Trust measures:

1.?? Credibility

2.?? Reliability

3.?? Intimacy

Let's dive into Green's Trust Equation, exploring each component and offering actionable tips to help you measure and foster these in your interactions.

?1. Credibility

Credibility is about having the expertise and the knowledge. It's what makes someone believable. When a coach speaks, you want to feel confident they know their stuff.

Actionable Tips:

- Research: Look into their qualifications, certifications, and areas of expertise. A credible coach doesn't shy away from sharing their accomplishments and educational background.

- Ask for Stories: Request specific examples of how they've helped others. Real-life stories add layers to their credibility.

- Check Testimonials: See what past clients have said. Positive feedback from others can reinforce a coach's credibility.

2. Reliability

Reliability means consistency and dependability. You want a coach who keeps their promises and follows through on commitments.

Actionable Tips:

- Set Clear Expectations: Early on, discuss what you expect from them and what they expect from you. Clear expectations lay the groundwork for reliability.

- Observe Consistency: Pay attention to their punctuality and how consistently they adhere to agreed schedules and deadlines.

- Communication: Notice how quickly and effectively they communicate. A reliable coach keeps you in the loop.

3. Intimacy

Intimacy in this context refers to the emotional bond and safety you feel with a coach. It's about being able to share openly without fear of judgment.

Actionable Tips:

- Share a Little: Start by sharing something small and personal. See how they respond. Their reaction can give you clues about the level of emotional safety you might have with them.

- Listen to Your Gut: Trust your feelings. Do you feel heard and understood? Your comfort in sharing is a good indicator of intimacy.

- Ask About Boundaries: Understand their approach to maintaining professional yet supportive boundaries. Good boundaries foster intimacy and trust.

When choosing a coach, take your time to assess these three aspects of the Trust Equation. It might involve direct conversations, observing their behaviour over time, or speaking with past clients. Remember, the goal is to find a coach with whom you can build a relationship based on mutual trust, leading to a more fruitful and satisfying coaching experience.

I’d suggest you start working on the first two by reviewing their online posts?and presence?and checking out their qualifications?and CVs.?All of this can help you build?a?picture not just of the individual but also of what their clients?are saying?about them.

Qualifications should not be viewed as?a?key differentiator but?as evidence of the substantial investment they have made in their professional craft.

For intimacy, read how they communicate, how they make you feel, and what you perceive?about their brand.

Then seek to qualify this, perhaps through testimonials or?an initial one-to-one to make your own judgements.

Trust is my No.1 value in life.

It is the key differentiator between?a?good?coaching experience?and?a?less-than-optimal one.

The Coaching Contract

No, I’m not talking about fees or how many meetings and payment schedules there are. I’m talking about how You and Your Coach will work best together.

What are the boundaries you both need in place, what are the measures of success and how might you avoid or overcome obstacles?

A Coaching Contract is designed to ensure both parties get what they need from the relationship, but also tries to manage the relationships between the Coach, Coachee and Coachee Sponsor.

There will be many variations but in choosing a coach you should expect to see the following Key Components in the Coaching Contract:

1. Confidentiality - Who can your Coach share facts/outcomes/details with, if at all?
2. Objectives - what is the desired outcome from the Coaching?
3. What Coaching is/What it isn’t- Your Coach should talk this through with You to ensure clarity and avoid straying into areas that they are not qualified for.
4. Challenge- what would this look like. How does your potential Coach intend to challenge You?
5. Managing Change- what will happen when changes occur. Is there an opportunity to re-contract or re-assess at intervals through the agreed programme?

What should Challenge look like in a coaching relationship?

One of the first questions I might be asked when someone is enquiring about purchasing my services is “How would you challenge the Coachee?”

Sometimes the Coachee will even say to me “I want to be challenged”.

Being someone from a relatively large family who lived in a small house, we learnt the importance of collaboration and compromise growing up. It didn’t pay to shout at each other or react in anger.

So when I’m asked this question, I often respond with another question:

What would effective challenge look and feel like to you?

The real answer is not always that they need someone to shout at them, but they do need a coach who won’t shy away from the difficult questions or delivering the challenging feedback.

Once I understand their need better, then I will always point this out.

A Coach’s job is to explore, be curious, get to the root cause of the coaching need, and help the Coachee face up to sometimes difficult change involving action, mindset shift, or both.

Once the Coachee accepts this challenge then they can begin to work on an action plan with their Coach.

Over to you:

So that’s it for now. I hope you have enjoyed my series on Coaching but, most importantly, that it prompts you to get in touch if you want to:

·??Discuss what you have read and learn more about how Co-Creation can help you select a Coach

·??Work with us to see how establishing a Coaching Culture could transform your organisation

·??Partner with us in helping you create and develop a team of Internal Coaches

If you've found value in what we've shared, or if there are other topics around leadership and coaching you're curious about, let us know! Your feedback drives our content, and we're here to cover the subjects that matter most to you. Share your thoughts, questions, or suggestions with us, and let's continue this journey together.

And, if you like what you've been reading, please share this newsletter with your network. Your recommendation can make a big difference in spreading valuable insights and fostering a community of growth and development.

Stay tuned for our next edition, and remember, leadership matters in every step we take. Let's make it count.