Trust: Beyond the Title

According to Merriam-Webster, trust is "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something."

But that clinical definition misses the heart of what trust really is.

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Ted Lasso would tell you trust is like his daily biscuits – earned in thousands of tiny moments, each one saying "I care enough to show up for you, consistently, even when nobody's watching." It's built through unwavering belief in people, especially when they don't believe in themselves.

Simon Sinek puts it more directly: "Trust isn't a checklist. It's not a quarterly goal. It's a feeling that develops when actions align with words over time." It's what happens when leaders choose to go first – first to be vulnerable, first to take responsibility, first to give credit away.

And Colin Powell cuts to the core truth: "Trust is where leadership begins and ends. The day your people stop bringing you their problems is the day you've stopped leading them. They've either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you don't care. Either case is a failure of leadership."

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Let me tell you what trust really is.

The Trust Crisis Nobody's Talking About

Every day, I watch companies wonder why their teams aren't performing at their peak. They've got:

• Extensive leadership training programs
• Regular team building exercises
• Open-door policies
• Transparent communication channels
• Quarterly engagement surveys

And every day, I watch the trust gap grow wider.

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Why? Because they're treating trust like a technique instead of what it really is – a sacred bond forged through genuine connection, shared vulnerability, and unwavering commitment to walking your talk.

Let me be crystal clear about what really builds trust:

• Getting in the trenches with your people, willing to do every single thing you ask them to do
• Spending real, quality time with them – not just drive-by conversations, but deep, meaningful connections
• Being vulnerable enough to share your real story – how you became a leader, including the messiness, mistakes and moments of self doubt
• Owning your failures publicly and celebrating your team's successes privately
• Not just accepting feedback, but actively seeking it out with genuine curiosity
• Standing firm for your team when it's right, even when it's hard
• Creating an environment where feedback is just feedback – not a weapon or a weakness

The Moment That Changed Everything

Let me share a deeply personal story about trust – one that taught me everything about what real leadership means.

When I joined Alteryx after a successful stint at Tableau, I came in with strong references and high expectations. The CRO had referred me, though I was hired by the SVP of Customer Success. From day one, I could feel the skepticism: "Who is this guy? Is he here to take my job? Is he going to try to change everything to fit his agenda?"

?At first, I did what most leaders do – tried all the superficial trust-building techniques. Team lunches. One-on-ones. Standard corporate playbook stuff.

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It got me nowhere.

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That's when I had to look deeper. I reflected on the leaders who had profoundly impacted my own journey, particularly Barry Sowerwine – a leader who embodied authenticity and unwavering values while building fiercely loyal teams.

I remember when Barry first mandated we attend Story Leaders, I internally rolled my eyes. "Great, another useless sales methodology," I thought. Like most sales leaders, I'd been through countless trainings that promised transformation but delivered nothing more than new buzzwords and outdated techniques. But Barry's opening words stopped me in my tracks: "Think of this as more of a therapy session – giving you permission to be human."

What unfolded over the next three days with Story Leaders founder Ben Zoldan wasn't just another training – it was a journey into what makes us human. Ben didn't teach techniques; he created a space where masks could fall away. We shared stories of our failures, our fears, our defining moments. I watched tough-as-nails sales executives tear up sharing personal struggles. I saw quiet analysts light up the room with passionate stories about their "why."

The transformation was profound. I looked around the room at my co-workers – people I thought I "knew" – and realized how surface-level those connections had been. Through Ben's guidance, we learned that true connection isn't about being perfect – it's about being real. It's not about having all the answers – it's about being willing to ask the hard questions. It's not about showing strength – it's about having the courage to show vulnerability.

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Three days later, I left ready to move mountains for these people – not because of their titles or roles, but because I had seen their humanity. These weren't just colleagues anymore; they were humans with dreams, struggles, and stories that mattered. This wasn't just professional development; it was a fundamental shift in how we saw each other and ourselves.

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The impact on my leadership was immediate and lasting. I stopped trying to be the leader I thought others expected and started being the leader I actually was. I began sharing my own struggles and fears alongside my victories. Team meetings transformed from status updates to story sharing. One-on-ones became less about metrics and more about meaning.

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I witnessed firsthand how this approach to genuine connection acted like strapping another jet engine to Tableau's already powerful culture. It wasn't just about being vulnerable – it was about creating an environment where authentic human connection became the fuel for unprecedented growth. Barry had known this all along – that's why he mandated Story Leaders. He understood that when people feel truly seen and heard, they'll move mountains not because they have to, but because they want to.

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I thought about these lessons and Brené Brown's teachings about the courage it takes to be vulnerable.

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Like Ted Lasso walking into AFC Richmond for the first time, I realized that trust isn't won in grand gestures or bold declarations. It's earned in thousands of tiny moments – a genuine smile, a moment of vulnerability, an unwavering belief in someone's potential before they see it themselves. Each small interaction is like Ted's daily biscuits – a consistent reminder that you care enough to show up, day after day, with authenticity and heart.

So I embarked on what felt like painting the Mona Lisa – a masterpiece that couldn't be rushed. For over a year, I committed to a relentless pursuit of genuine connection. Not superficial check-ins, but real, meaningful relationships. There were moments of doubt, times when I questioned my approach, days when it felt like I was getting nowhere.

But like Ted's "BELIEVE" sign, I held onto an unwavering faith – not just in the process, but in the inherent potential of every person on the team. It wasn't about proving myself right; it was about proving them right about themselves.

Slowly, something magical started happening. People began coming to me, opening up, sharing their real thoughts and concerns. They weren't just tolerating a new leader – they were engaging with a real human being. The walls of skepticism began crumbling, replaced by bridges of authentic connection.

That's when I learned the truth about trust: It's not about your title, your references, or even your track record. It's about having the courage to be genuinely yourself, the persistence to keep showing up authentically, and the patience to let others come to trust at their own pace – just as Ted taught us that the real victory isn't in the score, but in helping people become the best versions of themselves.

The Power of Being Human

Here's what nobody tells you about earning trust: It's not about being perfect. It's about being perfectly human.

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Real trust is earned when:

• You admit you don't have all the answers but commit to finding them together
• You stand firm for your people, even when it costs you politically
• You choose what's right over what's easy, especially when nobody's watching
• You see potential in people before they see it in themselves
• You create space for vulnerability while providing unwavering support

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The Ted Lasso Principle

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Remember that moment in Ted Lasso when he puts up the "BELIEVE" sign? It wasn't just about blind faith. It was about creating an environment where trust could flourish naturally.

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Your team needs to know three things, and they are non-negotiable:

1. You genuinely care about them as humans, not just resources
2. You'll stand beside them in the darkest storms
3. You believe in their potential more than they do

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But here's the catch – you can't just say these things. You have to live them with such conviction that they become as natural as breathing.

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Your Path to Genuine Trust

Want to earn the kind of trust that turns impossible dreams into reality? Here's your path:

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1. Walk Your Talk, Every Single Day

• Be the first one to do what you ask of others
• Share your real story - the struggles, the failures, the lessons
• Spend quality time with your people - not just checking boxes
• Create an environment where vulnerability isn't just accepted, it's valued

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2. Master the Art of Feedback

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• Actively seek feedback, don't just wait for it
• Respond with curiosity, never with defense
• Create safe spaces where feedback flows freely
• Remember: feedback is feedback - nothing more, nothing less

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3. Stand for What's Right

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• Fight for your team when it matters most
• Own your mistakes publicly and completely
• Make decisions based on principles, not politics
• Create an environment where doing the right thing is the only option

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4. Honor the Sacred Bond

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• Keep your promises, no matter the cost
• Protect your people, especially when it's difficult
• Fight for what's right, not what's easy
• Build legacy, not just results

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The Path Forward

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The numbers don't lie – according to Gallup, only 33% of employees strongly trust their organization's leadership. Even more telling? A staggering 82% of employees would consider leaving their job because of a bad manager. Let that sink in: People don't leave companies – they leave leaders they don't trust.

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But here's the opportunity: While others focus on building trust through processes and programs, you can focus on earning it through authentic leadership and unwavering commitment. Because when you get it right – when you lead with genuine care and consistent authenticity – you don't just keep good people, you create an environment where they can't imagine being anywhere else.

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The choice is yours:

• Continue playing the finite game of management techniques and watch trust erode
• Or step into the infinite game of genuine leadership and forge bonds that last a lifetime

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Most will choose the former. They'll read this, nod their heads, and then go right back to treating trust like another metric to be managed.

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But you're not most leaders.

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You're still reading because that fire in your belly tells you there's a better way. That same passion that drives you to accomplish the impossible is telling you that trust shouldn't feel this... mechanical.

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Listen to that voice.

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Because in the end, trust isn't about techniques or tools or training programs.

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It's about showing up fully human.

It's about standing firm when storms rage.

It's about believing in people until they believe in themselves.

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Everything else is just noise.

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The question isn't whether you can earn this kind of trust.

The question is: Are you ready to lead with your full heart?

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Your move.

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P.S. Remember: Trust isn't built in a day, but it can be lost in a moment. Choose your moments wisely.

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#Leadership #Trust #AuthenticLeadership #TeamBuilding #HumanLeadership