Trust

“You can’t make these decisions without consulting us, we are part of this family!” With angry eyes my son glares at me, willing me to accept that I am in the wrong. My crime? Throwing out an old chair that used to live in our bathroom. We are refurbishing and in a fruitless attempt to ‘Marie Kondo’ the house, we have been trying to get rid of anything that “doesn’t spark joy”. Well, at least not for us. As now transpires, it most definitely sparked joy for my son…. A lot. And he is angry. In his relatively small world, where he has very little control, it is kind of a big thing to see something you cherish be casually cast aside. Especially since it was me who did it – someone he implicitly trusts and who frequently plays the you-are-part-of-this-family-so-you-need-to-help-out card. Expertly used against me here, teaching me a valuable lesson…. You can’t have it both ways. If you are building a foundation of trust, if you expect someone to play an active role and do their bit (say, clear up after lunch), you need to be ready to take their opinion into account, to have the tough conversation, even if it complicates things.

Trust – this word has been coming up more and more over the past years, also in my work as a Talent Director. There are numerous studies that link employee engagement to trust: employees who trust their leadership are more engaged, perform better, are more willing to collaborate and share knowledge. And with leadership moving away from the command & control model, with organizational structures becoming more fluid, with a future that is less predictable, with people working from home, beyond the watchful eye of their management, trust is increasingly important. It’s the one constant we should be able to fall back on when everything else is in flux. It is the glue that holds the fabric together, at the heart of the psychological contract between employee and employer.

There is this Simon Sinek Ted talk, where he talks about the Navy Seals and how, when going on a mission, they would always choose someone they trust implicitly (but is maybe less skilled) over someone who is more capable but less trustworthy. Skill you can build, trust is much harder to establish. His follow-on message is, managers should treat their teams as family in order to get the best results. Big organizations of course can seem a long way away from a small family unit, but in the day to day, there is a lot leaders can do to replicate the intent. For me, it can be described in 5 Cs: Challenge, Coaching, Clarity, Consistency and Courage.

Challenge: it is about having high expectations of others, truly wanting them to succeed, to be the best they can be. Letting people know you believe in them, that they’ve got this. Just like you would with a child, a brother, a sister…

Coaching: it is less about telling and more about active listening. It is about finding out what makes others “tick”, where their ambitions lie and supporting them in their endeavours where possible. Seeing the potential and nurturing it.

Clarity: be clear about what is expected, what outcomes we are trying to achieve and what consequences could be expected if things don’t work out. And if any of those are not known, be clear about that!

Consistency: don’t change the message to suit the circumstances. Say what you mean and do what you say. Be as transparent as possible. Let your team know you are true to your word, and it’s not just words….

And finally, Courage: look people in the eye and have the guts to be have the difficult conversation that nobody wants to have. Dish out tough love provided it comes with the best of intentions. With courage also comes vulnerability. Own up to mistakes, role-modelling the behaviour you would want to see from your team. When there are challenges, face them together, letting your employees know you have their back.

I am committed to enabling trust in Capgemini Invent.  We put it deliberately at the heart of our VP Journey initiative and it one of the threads in the agenda of InventX, our annual learning event that is coming up. I would love to get your take on the topic.

And whilst I am at it, I just need to not forget to apply the same principles to my own family….. Now where did I dispose of that chair??