Trump is going after paper straws. Enough is enough.

We haven’t seen an advance of this magnitude for mankind since ripping the info tag off mattresses was outlawed: President Trump has directed the U.S. government to phase out the nation’s use of paper drink straws.

Oh, yeah: He simultaneously imposed 25% tariffs on all the foreign steel and aluminum that’s used to fabricate restaurant equipment, ensuring the price will skyrocket. But we’re talking about a return to plastic straws, people! ?

No more of the suction-blocking crimps and pinching that turned paper straws into a nightmare! No more of paying a premium for a guest amenity many customers have already stopped using because of environmental guilt! “This ends under President Trump,” the White House declared Monday in announcing the new executive order.

Within 45 days, the nation will have a plan for replacing the abominations with the plastic versions that were vilified merely because they killed 1,000 or so turtles a year. Talk about a new golden age for America.

Am I the only one who’s hyperventilating into a brown paper bag while watching the president deliver one roundhouse after another to the restaurant business??

He’s unnerved the industry’s workforce with his roundup of immigrants who lack the authorization to take such choice restaurant jobs as washing dishes, bussing tables or washing vegetables.

We’re three weeks away from seeing if the cost of everything from beer and avocados to flour and beef will be jacked up by tariffs on imports from Mexico and Canada.?

The industry’s largest chains and suppliers all have programs in place to deepen the labor pool by ensuring every potential member will find opportunity in the trade. It was once a noble mission, a potential source of pride. Now DEI is virtually a four-letter word. ?

Among the most effective ways of forging tomorrow’s managerial talent are the industry-specific internships and other training programs that depend on grants and other financial support from the federal government. Now those endeavors have been branded as threats to the American dream, with the funding likely to be halted. How does creating opportunity work against that ideal??

The industry could depend on a food safety net that’s the envy of the world. The safeguards will soon be under the supervision of someone who dines on roadkill and questions the value of virtually eradicating polio. Already, you’ll see a marked difference in what the relevant government agencies are saying—or, more to the point, not saying—on their websites.

Many of us consoled ourselves on Election Night with hopes we’d see a different Trump this go-round. Yet his extreme convictions have moved even farther afield, and he’s acting on them far more readily.?

The impact on the restaurant industry is particularly dismaying.

I think we’ve seen enough to realize even worse times could be ahead. Isn’t it time we started pushing back big-time?