Is It True?

True or false? The question seems simple enough, and we've been asked that same question hundreds, if not thousands, of times in our lives. Yet, in this world of "alternative facts" (not really a thing if anyone was wondering), we don't often answer correctly.

As emotional beings, humans bring lots of baggage to every situation. Whether based on prior experiences, opinions, or our hopes for a certain outcome, we often deny what's right in front of us.

During my son's struggles with addiction, I became close companions with denial and distraction. When we're faced with something that's just too difficult to accept, we can refuse to see the truth. I denied the seriousness of my son's condition and then distracted myself with life's busy-ness until it was almost too late.

We cannot be resilient in the face of challenges unless we are willing to face the truth of what those challenges are. Answering the question "Is it true?" is the first step in determining exactly what we're up against, whether meeting a personal or professional challenge. We need facts--real facts--to determine if something is true.

Sometimes, the answer to that question may be "No." It's not uncommon for us to imbue situations with either emotion, opinion, or future-forecasting that colors what we think we see. Without the clear, uncensored truth, we may take action that not only wastes time but complicates the matter unnecessarily, leading to misunderstandings, missteps and prolonged angst.

On the other hand, when faced with a hard truth, we must look the problem squarely in the eye to take positive action before the situation gets worse. Clearly identifying the problem in all of its truth is necessary to begin to navigate it. Ignoring the truth, or acting based on falsehood, can lead to sometimes disastrous consequences. (Watch the excellent 1981 thriller Absence of Malice for a sobering example of what can happen when the truth is ignored.)

When taking on any new challenge, determine the facts—just the facts, and ask yourself some basic questions:

• What is the problem?
• What is the root of the problem?
• Who or what is causing the problem?
• What can I actually do about the problem?
• And finally, ask again—Is everything I just described true?

To be effectively resilient, we must rely on the truth. Act based on facts, not emotion or opinion. Show denial and distraction to the door. Focus on the truth, and avoid wasting time on false starts when meeting challenges.