True Love Starts With You...

True love starts with you!

If you don’t love yourself, don’t expect anyone else to do so…

One of the hardest things I had to learn to do was to ‘love myself’ again.

For many years I hated myself passionately. I detested the way I had become after years of living a life which only gave those I cared about pain and hurt.

I struggled to accept myself, and my past.

As a result, I suffered with low self-esteem and confidence.

I would hide this by playing the fool, and making others laugh, whilst silently dealing with the inner loathing I so often struggled with.

When we feel this way it can be impossible to feel love, for ourselves, and indeed others in the way we truly desire.

We close ourselves off from these emotions, in order to protect ourselves.

We protect ourselves from being hurt, if we have been hurt previously, but also, we protect ourselves from having to face the parts of ourselves we would rather avoid.

Self-acceptance, and acceptance in general, are difficult nuts to crack.

It takes time and a lot of self-refection to truly understand why we are the way we are, and to then come to terms with that, and the actions we have taken which have hurt us, and the people around us.

Accepting the actions of others can also take time to heal when we have felt hurt or damaged in some way.

We will naturally judge others actions, but often avoid looking at ourselves, and our part in things.

Often, we will avoid doing so, and distract ourselves in one way of another.

Be that through alcohol or drugs, or indeed through playing the fool and creating a false persona or image, which we can then hide behind.

So many people in society project an image or identity which distorts the real you underneath, and you have to ask the question why?

And the answer is that it helps us avoid facing our inner demons.

It helps us pretend we are okay, and we don’t have to focus on the things which haunt us deeply.

However, only when we drop the act and face our true authentic selves can we genuinely start to love ourselves again.

And only when we truly start to love ourselves again, warts n all, can we expect to attract love into our lives.

For me personally, I was extremely blocked to new love for many years. After losing all that I loved I effectively closed myself off from feeling love. Be that for myself or others.

I would feel nothing even when looking at old pics of my family and cats, who I loved with all my heart.

And that only started to change when I realised I had to stop avoiding my demons and face them. I had to accept myself, and my past, and move on. And that took time and a lot of inner work.

Now, I am happy to say I have learned to feel love once more. Even if not perfect, the part of me which was closed off is now open again. But that after an awful lot of internal work and soul searching.

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you accept things as being good or bad, right, or wrong. It doesn’t mean you judge the things you, or others did in the past.

In fact, it means the opposite. It means you are able to look at things objectively and recognise that none of us make mistakes on purpose.

We always act in the best way we thought right, at that time. After all there’s many reasons, we all do things the way we do, and often those actions will have been fuelled by something else. A belief, an attitude, addictions etc.

What we can do now though is learn. We can choose to see all experiences for the value they provide us with. And often, it’s the worst choices, decisions, and mistakes we make in life that provide us with the best learning and opportunities of growth.

If there’s one person in the world who needs your love the most right now… It is you!!

So start by stepping out of your comfort zone of avoidance, and make your first steps towards the peace of mind you truly desire.

DM me if you looking to take those first steps forward.

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