True Love

What is True Love?

Love is vibrant and requires action to prosper. Often, we spend our time worrying about what our partner feels toward us or how the relationship looks from the outside. Even though it feels good to be loved by someone else, each one of us can only feel our love for another person and not that person’s feelings for us. In order to connect with and sustain those love feelings within us, we have to take actions that are loving. Otherwise, we may be living in fantasy.

At times it may feel unsatisfying, but it’s actually pretty allowing to accept the fact that the only person we have any true control over in a relationship is ourselves. We are in charge of our half of the energetic. Therefore, we can choose whether to engage in behaviors that are negative to intimacy or whether to take actions that express feelings of love, compassion, affection, respect, and kindness.

A fantasy bond forms when couples temporary?real love and closeness for the form of being in a relationship. This bond diminishes the feelings of liveliness and attraction between individuals.

Characteristics of True Love

1. Closeness and openness

To maintain closeness, couples should be open with each other, which means being willing to hear feedback from each other without being defensive or discouraging. Truth can offer?an important clue into ways we may be pushing our partner away without realizing it. Even if we don’t agree with everything,?listening to our partner naturally makes them feel seen, heard, and cared about.?On the other hand, punishing our partner for being honest and direct with us shuts down communication.

2. Open to trying something new

A relationship flourishes when both people are in touch with a lively, open, and vulnerable side to themselves that welcomes new experiences. We don’t have to love and participate in everything our partner enjoys, but sharing new activities, visiting new places, and breaking routines often breathes new life into a relationship that feels invigorating to both people.

3. Honesty and integrity

To tell the truth is one of the first lessons most of us are taught as kids.?Yet, as adults, there can be a lot of dishonesty in our next relationships. When we are dishonest with our partner, we do them, the relationship, and ourselves a great damage.?In order to feel helpless with our partner, we must trust them, and this can only be achieved through honesty.

4. Respect for the other’s boundaries, priorities and goals

To avoid a fantasy bond, we have to see the other person as separate from us. That means respecting them as a unique, independent individual. Often, couples tend to take on roles or play into power dynamics. We may tell each other what to do or how to act. Or we may speak for and about each other in ways that are limiting or defining.?Essentially, we treat them as extensions of ourselves rather than separate human beings.?As a result, we actually limit our own attraction to them. We treat the other person like our right arm. Then we are no more attracted to them than we are to our right arm.

5. Physical affection and personal sexuality

Affection is a huge part of how we express love. When we cut ourselves off to our feelings of affection, we tend to soften the relationship. This weakens the spark between ourselves and our partner. Sexuality can become routine or impersonal, and as a result, both partners feel more distant and less satisfied. Keeping love alive means staying in touch with a part of ourselves that wants physical contact and is willing to give and receive affection.

6. Understanding our Partners

It’s easy to project against our partner or to misunderstand things they’re saying, either using them to feel hurt. It’s also easy to get stuck in our own point of view without seeing things from the other person’s perspective. We are always going to be two different people with two independent minds, so we won’t always see eye to eye. However, it’s important to try to understand our partner from a clear point of view.?When our partner feels seen and understood, they are much more likely to soften and see our perspective as well.

7. Manipulations of dominance

Many couples find themselves wrapped up in chemistry where one acts like a parent and the other like a child.?One looks to the other for guidance then resents that person for telling them what to do. Or one person tries to control the situation, then complains that the other person is irresponsible, immature, or passive. In order for a relationship to be truly loving, it must be equal. When one person tries to control or manipulate the other, be it by shouting and screaming or avoiding and playing the victim, neither person is experiencing an adult, equal, and loving relationship.

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Thanks,

Akshat Jha – 72100 95200

[email protected]

www.agilemindzcounseling.in