True leaders stand up for everyone

As we kick off Pride Month, I'm reminded of a challenge we faced in Scouting 10 years ago when the decision was made to allow gay youth to join the Boy Scouts of America. At the time, I was a board member of the Water & Woods Field Service Council in Flint, Michigan. As debate raged about the decision, I penned the following letter for council members: Scouts, parents, leaders and supporters.

Reflecting on this issue a decade later, I am deeply saddened by the widespread efforts to oppress and marginalize people who just want to live their lives without fear. Instead, so-called leaders who see the LGBTQ+ community as a threat are wasting taxpayer dollars to revoke hard-fought rights and protections.

If I recall correctly, our country historically opposes dictators and authoritarian regimes that violate human rights. So, why do we stand silent and allow the LGBTQ+ community to fight alone for its survival? Are they truly an existential threat to our existence?

True leaders stand above the fray and strive to find common ground. True leaders are willing to listen, not just to understand and say "I support you". True leaders listen to be influenced. No matter their position, they open their minds and put themselves in the position of those whose rights are threatened.

If there are true leaders here, take a stand for protecting the rights of those who are marginalized in society, be it race, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation.

The problem is not them. The problem is inaction by us.

The following was originally published in May 2013. It has not been edited or updated in any way to reflect current terminology. Please accept it as it was written for an audience 10 years ago. That said, I hope the message still resonates.

Scouting is for our boys, not for adults to wage a morality war

“We are not a club or a Sunday school class, but a school of the woods.” - Robert Baden-Powell, founder of the Boy Scouts

That quote seems fitting right now, especially as the battle lines over homosexuals in the Boy Scouts of America give way to the reality that Scouting will now allow gay youth to join.

After the vote supporting the change in the membership policy was announced, people on opposite sides of the issues either lauded the bold move or threatened to abandon Scouting over what they see as a moral breakdown.?Link to CNN story on BSA membership policy change

Why then does my opinion matter in this? Well, it does for a number of reasons, the most important being the fact I am the father of two boys in Scouting - one a Boy Scout and the other a Cub Scout. To compound my interest in this topic, I am also the leader of my youngest boy's pack and I serve as vice president of marketing for the Water & Woods Field Service Council BSA in Flint, Michigan.

So, there I am, along with many other parents, leaders and volunteers, grappling with a controversial issue that some people threatened would tear apart more than a century of Scouting. But I didn't really need to grapple with it because I didn't base my decision to support the change in policy on morality. Yes, you read that correctly, I supported the change.

I chose to support the change because it is the right thing to do for Scouting and I think Baden-Powell's quote sums it up best.?

Scouting is not a club because we want all boys to have the opportunity to learn, grow and mature, becoming upstanding young men, no matter their race, ethnicity or orientation.

Scouting is not a Sunday school because the best place to study and learn biblical lessons is at home or one's church. However, Scouting is a place where we encourage boys to be respectful of the many religions that exist around the world and to not judge someone because their views and beliefs are different.

Scouting is a school of the woods because that is where boys become men and I don't mean in that stereotypical macho manner some people are inclined to assume from this comment. Rather, it is the process of developing and honing skills that will help our boys at work, at home and, of course, in the woods.

At the end of the day, I did not see this issue as a moral battle. I frankly don't care if there are homosexuals in Scouting. I have worked with and continue to work with gay and lesbians and I view them no differently than my heterosexual coworkers. They are not and never will be a threat?in the workplace, in society or in Scouting.

The real threat comes when we spend more time demonizing a group of people and overlooking the real issues facing young boys in society: fatherless homes, violence, drugs and peer pressure to break the law.

Shouldn't we be focused on helping nurture these boys so they can shake off negative influences in their lives and become respectful and responsible young adults?

To the Scout leaders and volunteers who are threatening to leave Scouting because of the change in membership policy I have one question. Are you doing this for you or for the boys??

Morality debates aside, Scouting is needed in our Society now more than any time in the last 100 years.

We can and will survive and thrive if we all stay focused on the fact that Scouting is for the boys. It's not about politics or religion or someone's sexual orientation. It is about watching a Tiger Cub grow and mature, becoming an Eagle Scout along the way and entering society as someone future Scouts will admire and wish to emulate.?

After all, it's about being prepared for life.