True or False: Build Self-Sufficiency, Build Self-esteem?

I often ponder the components of #self-esteem, a major factor in building personal #emotionalintelligence that makes a superior #leader. ?

In my search for higher self-esteem, I had an “Ah-Ha” moment when I realized that every time I had a monumental task and finished it, I felt good about myself. My #self-sufficiency increased my #self-worth. ?

Self-sufficiency is an important aspect of the emotional intelligence component, #Self-Regard. It is not “easy street” that is important but the development of skills equal to challenges that take you out of your comfort zone, leading to growth and increased confidence in your abilities.

Self-sufficiency and Overcoming Problems

Occasionally you have to clean out your files. That is the mood I was in last week when I ran on a newspaper article I clipped several years ago by John Rosemond. The article was titled: Keeping a Child Happy Can Destroy Self-esteem. I was intrigued a second time.?Rosemond, a family psychologist in Charlotte, North Carolina, stated that it is easy to keep a child happy by giving it everything it wants (like the keys to a new car) and that usually works until the child is 18 and ready to leave home.?

"Keeping a child happy takes less effort, less stamina and?certainly less courage than helping a child grow up. I guarantee that I can keep a child happy for 18 years. In the process, however, I will have no choice but to completely destroy the child's self-esteem," Rosemond wrote.

Rosemond continued, "Self-esteem, you see, is composed of equal parts initiative, resourcefulness, imagination, autonomy and determination. Self-esteem is the attitude of 'I can do it myself!' Such an attitude develops not as a result of parents constantly doing things for you, busying themselves in pursuit of your happiness, but as a result of parents who expect you to do for yourself, take responsibility for yourself and pursue your own happiness."

The article continued with Rosemond purporting that self-sufficiency or overcoming problems successfully is the key to high self-esteem even though the road to self-sufficiency is paved with frustration, tribulation, disappointment and other "unhappy" experiences.?

M. Scott Peck in his book, A Road Less Traveled, states that "it is through the whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure."

Self-Sufficiency and Grit

Peck also said, “Life is difficult. Once you accept that, it no longer matters.”

Application? You don’t whine and pout about how unfair life is, but you engage your grit. Grit is a combination of zeal and resilience that makes you push aside negative feelings of discouragement and the destructive self-talk of “I’ll never finish,” “I wasn’t cut out for this,” “Why me?” to the self-sufficiency of problem-solving.

Self-sufficiency is the essence of #grit, of faith in yourself and the belief that you can perform difficult tasks. It is knowledge that you are competent and that you can be brilliant when confronting difficulties.

Leadership and Self-Sufficiency

As a leader, do you apply the principles of self-sufficiency and grit when your team faces setbacks, diversions, distractions, and tough choices? Do you jump in and solve the problems or do you offer insight, suggestions, encouragement, and support but allow team members to grow and develop self-sufficiency?

You are more powerful as a leader when you help your team build their self-sufficiency, when you permit them to triumph by developing their initiative, resourcefulness, imagination, and creativity to solve well-defined problems.

For clarification, self-sufficiency means you have confidence in your skills and your ability to tackle tough problems no matter how great the pain. It does not mean that your ego takes over and you never consult with others or ask team members for ideas. Self-sufficiency does not mean that can’t affirm suggestions, increase collaboration, and build consensus.

As I watch sports events, I frequently hear sports commentators muse, “They wanted it more and that’s why they won.” In other words, one team had more determination, more perseverance, more grit and thus they won the contest.

In my journey through life, I have experienced and observed that it is more through the traits of grit described as perseverance and determination that we achieve as opposed to raw talent. The question becomes, “How much do you want it?” “How much does your team want it?”

When you answer these two questions, your self-sufficiency, or the ability to perform puts you and your team in the winner’s circle.

Yes, it is true. Self-Sufficiency does build self-esteem.

#Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #Management #Self-esteem #Self-sufficiency #Grit

Leadership Tips for Building Self-sufficient Teams

1.?Go beyond praise. Invite the person who gave an excellent performance to take the spotlight and tell how they achieved excellence.

2. Set clear and unequivocal performance standards for quality of work and for meeting deadlines.

3. Take the time to listen with your mind, your heart, and your eyes, enabling your employees to feel they are heard.?

4. Give more than corrective feedback when mistakes are made. Explore what went wrong and seek to prevent repeat errors.

5. Stretch your people. Give them tasks and projects that are slightly beyond their known capacity.?

6. Convey respect for differences of opinion and let people disagree with you without fear of retaliation.?

About Karla

Karla Brandau is the author of How to Earn the Gift of Discretionary Effort, a 21st century leadership book. She is a thought leader on how to create a culture in your organization that enables employees to give discretionary effort on a regular basis.

She is the CEO of Brandau Power Institute, a management consulting firm with expertise in the DISC 4-quadrant personality assessment, emotional intelligence, strengthening the touch points between managers and employees, and increasing the productivity of work teams.

?Her clients include corporations such as Coca-Cola Enterprises, Cox Enterprises, Arauco, and Panasonic as well government agencies including the EPA, NIH, and the FDA. ?

She is a keynote speaker and a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), an earned designation given by National Speakers Association. Other designations she has earned are Certified Facilitator and Registered Corporate Coach.

Cell: 770-329-1806 | Office: 770-923-0883

[email protected] | www.KarlaBrandau.com