Trouble with the Glass Ceiling? What about the Stiletto Slight?

There's a danger lurking for working women and it's not the Glass Ceiling. We should be equally concerned about the Stiletto Slight - women not helping other women in the workplace.

Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.

A C-Suiter who kicks the ladder out from under her once she's at the top. The higher-ups who don't make time to mentor. Managers who aren't supportive of new mom struggles. Women who go out of their way to shame a lesser ranking person (this happened to me just last week). Ladies who see their co-workers as competitors and act as such. Women who are unkind or at the minimum, unhelpful. All of this causes us to ask, what's the deal with women dissing other women?

“There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” Madeleine Albright, former United States Ambassador to the United Nations

Madeline, I have to say I agree.

The Stiletto Slight is dangerous, yet almost imperceptible as the name implies. A Stiletto Slight is not overt and obvious. It's not when a women is cussing at you at the top of her lungs or calling a female co-worker out as an idiot in the middle of a meeting. That's called being a bitch. The Stiletto Slight is not that blatant.

The Stiletto Slight is the absence of purposeful support of another women. It happens when we let our busyness dictate whether we help someone else. "I don't have time to mentor anyone." It happens when we bypass a new mom for an opportunity. "I need someone who can be all in." It happens when we scold vs. teach. "Next time you speak to someone of my level...." It happens when we are catty and gossipy. "Is she really wearing those heels?" It happens when we care less about the women around us than ourselves.

Now ladies, hear me out. I'm not asking that we all join a book club together and hold hands and sing during lunch. We don't have to like every women we cross paths with nor do we have to sugar coat every interaction.

You don't have to hug me, but can you not kick me?

I'm taking about purposefully supporting other women. Seeing yourself as a partner of and a contributor to the fellowship of other women. "A rising tide lifts all boats," and when you support one female co-worker in any capacity you are adding to the overall success of women in your entire workplace. Plus, isn't there a certain level of karma in kindness? (more on that thought here)

Ask yourself this: What women's success am I currently contributing to? Can you name 5, 10, 15 women in your circles that you are actively adding value to? If the answer is no, well you might want to start thinking about how you can add to the success of those around you. It doesn't have to be big or time consuming. Heck, a text sent at the right time with the right words can lift any lady up. But it does have to be genuine.

We are so much more than we think we can be. And we won’t become our potential until we come together and lift one another up.” Vicki Saunders

Everyone is keenly aware of the challenges women already have in their quest to find a meaningful, successful place in the business world: the glass ceiling, gender and pay gaps, motherhood.

Ladies, let's not add to the list.

I'm Cecilia Gorman, co-founder of Empowership - a year-long development program for women. I'm a John C. Maxwell certified Speaker & Trainer and my deep passion for adding value to others is the foundation of my training consultancy, Creative + Talent + Partners, where I serve to develop the employees of creatively-minded companies to their fullest potential.

Other posts I've written:

Single Worst Thing to Say in Your Performance Review | Worst Intern Interview. Ever. | The Very Second an Employee Resigns | Success, You and 3:15 am