Triumphing Over Impostor Syndrome: My Odyssey to Unwavering Confidence

Impostor (or imposter; there's a whole debate on this) syndrome is a pervasive feeling of self-doubt and insecurity that can plague anyone, regardless of their accomplishments. That nagging voice inside your head insists you're not good enough, don't belong, or are a fraud.?

For many of us, these feelings can be debilitating, holding us back from reaching our full potential. In this issue of The Stiletto Exec, I want to delve into impostor syndrome, how it manifests, and, most importantly, how we can overcome it. I'll share my experience with impostor syndrome, particularly around a recent speaking engagement.

What is Impostor Syndrome?

Psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes first identified the impostor phenomenon in the 1970s. The phenomenon—which is increasingly called syndrome—is characterized by chronic feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evident success and accomplishments. People experiencing impostor syndrome often attribute their achievements to luck or external factors rather than their abilities and hard work. We talk negatively to ourselves or are nervous.?

There are several types of impostor syndrome, including:

1. The Perfectionist: This type sets excessively high goals and feels like a failure when they don't meet them.
2. The Superwoman/Superman: These individuals push themselves mentally to work harder to measure up to their peers.
3. The Natural Genius: They judge their competence based on ease and speed instead of effort, feeling like a fraud if they have to work hard at something.
4. The Soloist: These people feel they must accomplish tasks independently and refuse help.
5. The Expert: They measure their competence based on what and how much they know or can do.

My Story: Facing Impostor Syndrome

I recently had the honor of speaking at the 2024 Joint Judicial and Senior Managers Spring Conference during a session titled "AI for All: Bridging the Divide for Greater Access to Justice." It was an incredible opportunity?that came about?after one of the judges heard my interview on Kassi &... , in which my friend Kassi Burns ns and I discussed sexual harassment and bias in data.

As I perused the conference agenda, the list of judges, legal experts, and legal technology professionals, a wave of impostor syndrome hit me hard. Despite my accomplishments, I felt an overwhelming sense of not belonging. The anxiety continued to build up until the first few minutes of the session. Thanks to Judge Dixon, our session's moderator, I started feeling a semblance of belonging. Yet, the feeling of being an impostor, of questioning why I was invited, was intensely real.

On the train ride to the conference, I texted my feelings to my husband. Our conversation went like this:

Me: I am having a?major?impostor syndrome attack.

Him: Hold on, let me Google impostor syndrome.

Him: Oh, you're bugging,?bro! [Yes, that's how we talk to each other.]

Him: How can you be an impostor if they asked you to be there? Now, if you snuck in and weaseled your way onto a panel, then yeah. LOL. But you're not Borat! YOU BELONG!

Me: Because I feel like one.

Him: But they asked you because they know you belong there and you add value to the discussion.?You?just?have to believe you do?too.?You got this.

His words, while comforting, didn't completely ease my fear. That fear was a familiar feeling, especially as someone without a college degree in rooms often filled with Ph.D.s, MBAs, and JDs. I also experience it when a client questions my expertise—and they are inexperienced?in marketing—and tells me how I should implement a campaign or initiative in marketing despite my proven track record of successful outcomes.

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome

Overcoming impostor syndrome is not about eliminating these feelings entirely but?rather?learning how to manage them. Here are some strategies that help me and can help you, too:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings—Acknowledging impostor syndrome is the first step to overcoming it. Recognize when you are experiencing self-doubt and understand that many people have it. Simply naming these feelings can lessen their power over you.
2. Reframe Your Thoughts—Challenge your negative thoughts and reframe them. Instead of thinking, "I don't belong here," try thinking, "I earned my place here." Replace self-doubt with self-affirmation. Remind yourself of your achievements and the hard work that got you there.
3. Seek Support—Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. Sharing your experiences with a partner, family member, friend, mentor, or therapist can give you a new perspective. They can remind you of your strengths and accomplishments when you cannot see them yourself.
4. Celebrate Your Successes—Take time to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Recording your accomplishments can serve as a tangible reminder of your capabilities. Reflecting on these successes can boost your confidence when impostor syndrome strikes.
5. Embrace the Learning Process—Understand that it's okay not to know everything. Embrace the learning process and view challenges as opportunities for growth. I try to learn something new daily; I ask questions to help my growth. During my session at the judicial conference, my co-panelist and I were asked about facial recognition. I spoke up and shared that I knew nothing about facial recognition but was ready to learn. The crowd didn't boo me or throw me off the panel. They embraced me as being ready to learn. Everyone makes mistakes, a natural part of the journey towards mastery.?I did spend time over the weekend after reading about facial recognition.
6. Practice Self-Compassion—Be kind to yourself. We forget this part, but we must treat ourselves with the same compassion and understanding that we would offer a partner, friend, or mentee. Please recognize that you are human and that it's okay to have moments (only moments, though) of doubt.
7. Be Your Authentic—Self Embrace and celebrate your unique identity. Being authentic allows you to connect with others more genuinely and can reduce feelings of being an imposter. Authenticity fosters confidence and helps you feel more grounded in your true self.

Impostor syndrome can be a significant barrier to personal and professional growth. Acknowledging and addressing these feelings can dismantle the self-doubt that holds us back. Remember, you are not alone in feeling this way. Even those who seem most confident and accomplished may be battling their feelings of inadequacy. And no matter how far you go in your journey to mastery of anything, impostor syndrome can creep up.

If you're unsure whether you're experiencing imposter syndrome, a helpful tool is the Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale (CIPS), developed by Dr. Pauline Clance. This scale can help you identify the extent to which you might be experiencing imposter feelings. You can take the test using the?Clance Impostor Phenomenon Scale (CIPS) ?and check your score. Remember, this is a tool for self-assessment that can provide valuable insights into your experiences and help you understand your feelings better.

Reflecting on my experience at the 2024 Joint Judicial and Senior Managers Spring Conference, I realized that the judges, legal experts, and technology professionals invited me to speak because they saw value in my perspective. I contributed to their learning journey. It was a powerful reminder that we belong where we?are invited, and our unique experiences and insights are what make us valuable contributors.

Next time you battle impostor syndrome, remember to acknowledge your feelings, reframe your thoughts, seek support, celebrate your successes, embrace the learning process, and practice self-compassion. You've earned your place at the table—believe in yourself as much as others believe in you. I woke up this morning reminding myself of just this.

Stay fierce and fabulous. And remember, YOU BELONG!