Triggers - A Mirror of Your Mind

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I stood barely controlling my irritation. The clock was ticking, I was impatiently tapping my feet, glaring at the barista as she fumbled to take my order. She was probably very new to the job and was still getting acquainted with the software.?

I had nowhere to go. I could easily wait. But this “cluelessness” in her was triggering me. I couldn’t stand it. Something about it wanted me to snap and run away.?

Later while sipping my coffee, I reflected, “was it really about her or was it about me?”

Dave Kashen?is a coach whose writings have impacted me more than anyone else’s. He has a?newsletter?that I eagerly wait for (no, this is NOT a sponsorship post). I really do like it so much that I want you all to explore it.

In his recent newsletter he wrote, “Every person who?triggers?you is showing you a part of yourself you’ve?rejected”.

So what is it that I had rejected within me, that I felt so triggered by a newbie behind a cash counter??

Beneath my strong distaste for cluelessness was my fear of appearing uncertain. I couldn’t accept being less than perfect and so I rejected that in her. This is how projection works.?

Now that I realise it, how does it help me??

After all, if I accept being less than perfect, I will become sloppy. Right? WRONG.?

What we resist persists. The parts that we judge or deny tend to leak out in unhealthy ways. When we love and accept those parts, we feel more?whole?and have more choice about how we show up.

Read the complete blog to see how I use my triggers to show up more powerfully.

What you admire in others is also about you and not about them.

Just as our aversions expose the parts of ourselves we reject, our?admiration exposes parts of ourselves we aren’t willing to be acknowledged for yet.

• The leader you admire for their charisma? Maybe you haven’t fully?owned your own ability to inspire.
• The founder you respect for their boldness? Maybe you have?boldness inside you waiting to be expressed.
• The mentor whose presence feels magnetic? Maybe you have?a powerful presence you haven’t fully stepped into.

When you admire someone, instead of just idolizing that trait, ask “How can I recognize and express this in myself?”?Then take action.?

Learning from your triggers will make you a better team player and a better leader. You will experience?far more ease in your relationships, your team, and your company.

Because the things that once triggered you? They?stop holding power over you.

And the things you admire in others? They?start emerging in you.

So what are your triggers telling you today?

Additional Resources:

Dave Kashen’s Website

Dave Kashen’s Newsletter

Dave Kashen on Linkedin