Triggers, Meltdowns, Taking Your Power Back

Let me start with a confession: I’ve been that person. You know, the one who feels like the world is out to get her, holding onto anger like it’s a badge of honor. I’d get triggered by the smallest thing, screaming at my kids and suddenly my whole day was ruined. If you’ve been there, you know how exhausting it is to live like that. But here’s the kicker: when your emotional life is a mess, that chaos follows you into your relationships, business, your leadership, and every single thing you’re trying to build.

For me, the breaking point wasn’t glamorous. Picture this: me, on the sidewalk of a busy main road, stomping a box of crackers under my high heels like a madwoman. Why? Because my husband at the time—who, by the way, has inflammatory issues—was sneaking foods that made it worse. And in my head, annihilating that box of crackers was going to solve everything. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

That moment was a mirror, reflecting all the judgment, control, and unhealed wounds I’d been carrying around. It was the wake-up call I didn’t know I needed.

Judgment, Control, and Chaos: A Leadership Killer

Here’s the thing nobody tells you: reactivity doesn’t just wreck your relationships. It wrecks your business, too. Judgment and control—reactivity’s toxic cousins—sneak into your leadership style like uninvited guests. Suddenly, you’re snapping at your team, micromanaging projects, and making decisions from a place of fear instead of clarity.

I know this because I lived it. The same patterns that had me stomping crackers had me treating my business like a ticking time bomb. Every email felt urgent. Every mistake felt personal. And my team? They could feel it. People mirror your energy, and if you’re operating from chaos, they’ll respond with resistance—or worse, apathy.

It wasn’t until I stopped reacting and started doing the deep work that everything changed.

Let’s get real: My husband sneaking snacks wasn’t the problem.

The problem was my need to control everything around me because I felt so out of control inside. Sound familiar?

Breaking free from this cycle wasn’t easy, but it was worth every tear, every cringe-worthy moment of self-reflection, and every ounce of effort. Because on the other side of that chaos? Freedom. Power. And a leadership style that actually works.

Here’s what saved me:

1. Awareness: Once I realized I was the common denominator in all the chaos, I couldn’t unsee it. I started noticing my patterns: the way I’d react instead of respond, the way I’d judge instead of accept. Awareness is step one, every time.
2. Letting Go of Judgment: This was a big one. I had to stop judging myself for not being perfect, judging others for not doing things my way, and judging every situation as “good” or “bad.” Judgment keeps you stuck.
3. Boundaries, Not Battles: I stopped trying to control everything and started setting boundaries instead. Boundaries are like a love letter to yourself—they protect your peace and keep you focused on what matters. Boundaries are the standards by which you live by.
4. Compassion: For myself, for others, for the messy, unpredictable nature of life. When you replace judgment with compassion, everything softens and flows better.
5. Conscious Leadership: I learned to pause, breathe, and respond with intention instead of reacting on autopilot. This doesn’t just make you a better person—it makes you a better leader.

The Ripple Effect of Doing the Work

Here’s what nobody tells you about doing the inner work: it doesn’t just change you. It changes the way you lead, the way you build relationships, and the way you run your business.

When I stopped reacting to every little thing, my leadership transformed. Instead of micromanaging, I started empowering my team. Instead of creating chaos, I built systems that made things run smoothly. And instead of being a boss people feared, I became a leader people wanted to follow.

And Let’s Be Real... I’m Still a Work in Progress

I’d love to tell you I’ve got this whole thing figured out, but I’d be lying. Just recently, in the middle of a rebrand and a new offer launch, my emails weren’t working, and they were all going to spam. SPAM! I was so frustrated I nearly threw my laptop out the window. (Don’t worry, I didn’t—but it was close.)

The stress of building a business and trying to “keep it all together” gets to me sometimes. I still feel those familiar old patterns of judgment and control bubbling up. But here’s the difference: now, I see it. I catch myself. I breathe, step back, and realign my attitude before I stomp any metaphorical (or literal) crackers.

I’m not perfect. I’m human. And that’s okay. Because this work isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. It’s about recognizing when you’ve gone off track and having the tools to bring yourself back to center.

The Freedom on the Other Side

Let me tell you, the freedom on the other side of this work is everything. When you stop letting your triggers run the show, you take your power back. You stop reacting, stop controlling, and start creating—the life, the business, the relationships you actually want.

So the next time you feel yourself losing it—whether it’s over crackers, emails, or something even bigger—ask yourself: What’s really going on here? Then take a breath. Remember, you’re not here to stomp crackers. You’re here to build a life and a legacy that reflects the best version of you.

?

With love, light, and prosperity,?

Jennifer Maher

Soulful Prosperity Coach

https://linktr.ee/prosperousjenn