Trigger Warning: Suicide Prevention Among Veterans – My Personal Battle With PTSD and Hope for Our Future

As a veteran, there are aspects of my life I rarely talk about, especially my diagnosis of PTSD. It’s something I carry silently, like many others, as I navigate through both the triumphs and challenges of daily life. Recently, I was reminded of how unpredictable and consuming PTSD can be during a panel discussion where I was unexpectedly triggered. This experience, though unsettling, serves as an important reminder of the silent struggles many veterans face and the critical need for community support and suicide prevention efforts.

The Silent Struggle

During that panel discussion, a fellow panelist made a sudden move toward me, or at least that’s how it felt in the moment. I instinctively reacted—I jumped, startled by the movement—and for a split second, the trauma from my service flooded back. I had to gather myself in front of everyone, quickly laughing it off and letting them know I’d been triggered. But internally, it was a much deeper experience. The flood of fear and anxiety reminded me of past traumas, and it took me a moment to calm down. That’s the reality that many veterans like me live with—daily moments of unpredictability that catch us off guard, drawing us back into a mental battlefield.

For veterans, PTSD can be a constant companion, one that quietly influences our reactions, thoughts, and feelings. It’s not always easy to talk about or explain. And yet, we must, because too many of us face these invisible struggles in isolation. In 2021 alone, more than 6,300 veterans died by suicide, with an average of 17.5 suicides per day (VA.gov | Veterans Affairs) (MedCity News). These aren’t just numbers; they represent real people—real men and women who have served this country, only to face another battle after coming home.

Veterans are 1.5 times more likely to die by suicide than nonveterans, a fact that underscores the severity of the issue (MedCity News). Among younger veterans, the situation is even more alarming. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for veterans under 45 (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs) (MedCity News). We often hear about the toll of war, but less about the mental health aftermath that continues long after the last deployment.

The Reality of Being Triggered

What I experienced during the panel wasn’t unique to me, and it’s certainly not an isolated incident. For veterans with PTSD, triggers can come from the most unexpected places—loud noises, sudden movements, or even a comment that reminds us of past trauma. For me, it was that sudden movement that brought back memories I’ve worked hard to manage. It’s moments like these that remind me of the fragility we often live with, balancing day-to-day life with the underlying hum of trauma. But what’s important is acknowledging these experiences and realizing that we are not alone.

Being triggered in public was difficult. It’s something I’d normally keep to myself, but sharing it now is important because too many veterans think they’re the only ones dealing with these internal struggles. We’re not. We face different battles, but we face them together, even if we don’t always talk about it.

The Path to Healing: There Is Hope

Even though these moments are tough, there is hope. Healing from PTSD and preventing suicide among veterans requires more than just individual effort—it takes a community. The support systems around us—family, friends, fellow veterans, and mental health professionals—are crucial. Personally, I’ve found solace in the work I do advocating for veteran health equity. It gives me purpose and reminds me that I’m not defined by my struggles, but by how I respond to them.

However, many veterans face these challenges without adequate support. A significant portion of veterans who die by suicide have never accessed VA services (MedCity News). This is a critical gap that we must address. Reaching those who haven’t sought help is a priority for the VA and organizations like the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Programs like the Veterans Crisis Line (988, press 1) are a vital resource, providing immediate support for veterans in crisis (U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs).

The VA is also taking steps to improve access to mental health care by forming partnerships with health systems across the country, offering virtual peer support, and testing new therapies like MDMA-assisted psychotherapy for PTSD (MedCity News). While these developments are promising, there’s still much work to be done to ensure that every veteran has access to the care and support they need.

It Takes a Community: Suicide Prevention Starts with Us

Suicide prevention requires a collective effort. It’s not just the responsibility of the VA or mental health professionals. It’s about creating a culture of support where veterans feel comfortable seeking help, and where we, as a community, recognize the signs of distress and take action. Whether it’s through peer support, community outreach, or simply checking in on a veteran friend, we all play a role in suicide prevention.

Communities must understand that PTSD and mental health challenges are not signs of weakness. They are scars from service—scars that deserve attention, compassion, and care. Initiatives like the VA’s efforts to improve suicide prevention and outreach are critical, but they can only go so far without the active involvement of communities. We must all do our part to remove the stigma around mental health and ensure that veterans feel supported, not just by the VA, but by society at large.

Let’s Bring Light

If you’re reading this as a veteran, know that you’re not alone. There is hope, and there are people who care about your well-being. If you’re a family member, friend, or colleague of a veteran, your understanding and support can make all the difference. It’s easy to feel isolated when dealing with PTSD, but together, we can break the silence and shine a light on the mental health challenges veterans face.

As we observe Suicide Awareness Month, let’s bring attention to the struggles veterans face and work to create a future where no veteran feels so alone that they believe suicide is their only option. Sharing my story wasn’t easy, but I believe it’s necessary. It’s a reminder that healing is possible, and that there is strength in vulnerability. Let’s commit to breaking the stigma, fostering supportive communities, and ensuring that every veteran has access to the care and resources they need.

Together, we can stand against the darkness of PTSD and mental health challenges. Let’s build a system of care that reaches every veteran in need, and let’s never forget that suicide prevention starts with us.

With Gratitude and In Service,

~ Dr. Elijah Nicholas, DBA, MBA, MAET, MSOL , USAF Lt Col (Ret)

Sources:

1. Veteran Suicide Data and Reporting – Mental Health (VA): [Veterans Affairs - Suicide Prevention Annual Report](https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/suicide_prevention/data.asp)

2. 2023 National Veteran Suicide Prevention Report: [American Foundation for Suicide Prevention](https://afsp.org/story/2023-national-veteran-suicide-prevention-report-intensifies-call-for-continued-efforts-to-improve-veteran-mental-health-and-suicide-prevention)

3. Veteran Suicide Statistics – MedCity News: [MedCity News - Veteran Suicide Statistics](https://medcitynews.com/2024/04/veteran-suicide-statistics-are-horrifying-what-is-the-va-doing-to-help/)