Trigger Test

How to Locate Yourself in Your Network

Spending time in echo chambers and grapevines can trigger us into being thoughtlessly dismissive about those whom we perceive as “not like us.”?

Does this mean we should avoid participating in networks of people who share our experience??

Not in the least. Such groups can be a rich source of support, enhancing our confidence, deepening our sense of connectedness, expanding our resources, and strengthening our resilience. They can also teach us network behaviors, giving us practice in the mutual exchange of both tactical and strategic support.?

The problem arises when these groups inhibit rather than sustain our ability to build strong relationships with people?outside?the circle.?

When we find ourselves spending time primarily with those we perceive as similar to ourselves, it narrows our frame of reference. By defaulting to our comfort zone, we make it harder to connect across boundaries of gender, culture, race, and hierarchical status. And we may lose our tolerance for risk. This can undermine us and diminish our capacity to grow.??

For example, we may lose our chops for connecting with those we view as different and become awkward, self-conscious, unsure of what to say in their presence.?This is because our referent group has made it too easy to default to our comfort zone.?

Or, in an effort to fit in or show loyalty to our referent group, we may contribute to gossip or make cynical comments, even though we would rather shift the conversation onto a more positive track. In this case, our need to bond with the group outweighs our distaste for negativity.

The good news is, healthy networks don’t present such dilemmas. So to avoid these traps, here’s a simple and practical test you can take:?

Ask yourself:?which feelings are triggered by my participation in this group?

• If your participation reinforces your sense of?separation from those outside?the group, you are probably caught up in a grapevine, which,?as I’ve noted previously,?can limit both your ability to advance and to be helpful to others.
• If, on the other hand, your participation triggers emotions that make you feel connected to the wider world,?you can be confident that the group in question is serving you as a healthy network, giving you secure ground on which to stand and from which to move forward.