Tricks You Need to Handle Trash Talk At Work!
What an epic fight!!
I am sure didn’t have to guess what fight I was referring to! Yes, it was the biggest fight in the UFC history, the UFC 229 Khabib Vs McGregor. My homeboy Khabib annihilated McGregor, just like I predicted! McGregor tapped out submission in the fourth round.
Now, what followed after the match was not the best moment or the best side of Khabib. In his post-fight press conference he apologized but asked a very important question, which really made me ponder. Trash talk… where do you draw the line?
If you know McGregor, you know that he is also a professional trash talker…uses foul language and extensive profanities against his opponents. The practice of boasting and insulting one's foes or competition, may be one of our culture's most beloved, and most reviled, phenomena.
Unfortunately this kind of behavior is not just limited to combat sports anymore and it’s not just for athletes anymore. It has seeped into our culture in general. From social media to C-suites to, yes, the White House! It seems everyone is ready to hurl an insult at the competition these days, right? But what are the effects of all this belittling and ridicule??
Trash-talking is as natural as breathing to some people. But how does it affect those who are the targets of such biting insults?
Let’s analyze the impact of trash-talking in a corporate environment.
“Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.” – Eric Hoffer
To celebrate the new millennium, the city of London constructed the London Eye, a giant Ferris wheel that sits on the shore of the River Thames. While you may be familiar with the London Eye, what you might not know is that they had British Airways sponsor the construction. In the final stages of construction as they erected the London Eye into place, they encountered some technical difficulties.
Richard Branson, the founder of Virgin Atlantic Airways, decided to capitalize on the misfortune of one of its key competitors and broadcasted a message intended to humiliate British Airways. He had Virgin Atlantic arrange a blimp to fly over the construction site of the London Eye with a giant banner that read, “BA can’t get it up!!” This public insult intensified a long-standing competition between British Airways and Virgin Atlantic. It’s this style of aggressive communication in competition.
What’s interesting is that trash-talking also pervades corporate America. I’ll give you a couple of examples of CEOs trash talking. One example is from John Legere, the CEO of T-Mobile, he ripped into one of his competitors, AT&T, when he said, “I see more honesty in a Match.com ad than AT&T’s coverage maps.”
Research shows that trash-talking can be very destructive in a cooperative setting, which is what a corporate environment is. In one of the studies, the researchers had people either cooperate with somebody or compete with somebody. These were confederates — paid research assistants who engaged in the same trash talking behavior in both cases.
They said things like, “I can’t believe I’m paired with you. I can tell you’re such a loser already.” Then they performed a cooperative task or a competitive task. The exact same messages boosted performance in a competitive task but harmed performance in a cooperative task.
There’s some very interesting work done by Professor Christine Porath from the Georgetown University and others looking at uncivil behavior in the workplace. They found that, consistent with the prior research work, it’s destructive in cooperative settings. Within your organization, trash-talking each other is not very useful.
“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.”— Clarence Thomas
With the incredible stress levels in some workplaces, emotions can easily run high. Words fly and sometimes we say things we don’t mean. But a tense situation doesn’t need to escalate into an all-out war. When you feel insulted, don’t get upset!
Calmly approach the person who is trash talking you and ask them politely to talk through the problem. If they refuse, explain that trash talking is a form of workplace harassment, and if you can’t work it out, you’ll have to approach HR about the situation. Be as diplomatic as possible — there’s no need to upset your coworker even more.
“Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.” – Margaret Walker
The office can be a difficult environment to navigate, but as long as you keep calm and stay diplomatic, you should be able to defuse any uncomfortable situation.
One of my friend shared his story and it's worth sharing here. After completion of one of his projects, my friend, in confidence, wrote to a colleague and the vice president to whom he reported to express concerns. This message was shared with another vice president (so much for confidentiality), who became upset at my friends critiques — which she took personally, as she was the person responsible for delays in the project. She confronted my friend about it, and this was exceedingly unpleasant, more of a scolding than an exchange!
I advised him to figure out how to frame this situation as a problem for the organization, not just for you. You don’t want to come across as picking a fight or seeking revenge. The real goal is to restore lines of communication and trust in order to get things done.
"Politeness and consideration for others is like investing pennies and getting dollars back." – Thomas Sowell
Your Thoughts?