A tribute to the Sheroes

When a woman gets pregnant in my side of the world, the elderly bless her by saying “May you be blessed with a moon-faced baby boy!” The irony is that it is a girl who is bringing that child into this world, but they want a boy alright. For girls, bias and prejudice start that early; when their existence is just of a mere embryo. Women are perceived to be the weaker gender; the gentle and delicate one and I presume it is because of their physical built-in contrast to men. If strength was to be measured in terms of psychological endurance, believe me, the perception would have been the opposite.

Being a woman is hard. It is not hard because of the mammoth set of expectations, responsibilities and challenges she faces on a daily basis at home, at work, on-road, at the relatives, and everywhere else. Her mere presence anywhere demands maintenance of decorum and adherence to a set of behavioural norms established by society. Keeping up with all this baggage is difficult. The tragic part is not being appreciated for it. If she follows these codes of conduct, the probability of finding a suitable match at the right age increases, and vice versa.

The times we are living in are crazy, really. As a civil society, we are developing but no matter what she wears, she is catcalled. She wears less, her character is questioned. She dresses modestly, she is considered conservative. The minute she leaves her house, she is scared of the vile pervert gazes of roadside Romeos’. When in a crowd she is scared of being groped. She reaches work, there is some chauvinist sleaze treating her like a commodity. Just imagine living with that kind of pressure every single day and I have not even started with real-life problems yet.

We read a lot of inspiring and admirable quotes by successful women about breaking shackles and barriers, but for a majority of Desi women, compromises are kinda part of life. They are conditioned and raised this way. It takes a mighty heart to equilibrate and deal with this identity dilemma between being a badass boss at work and being an ordinary wife, mum and a daughter in law back home. A man is still the boss, the man of the house once he is home.

Good men are a blessing and their contribution and efforts deserve an acknowledgment. They take responsibility for the well-being of their families and make sure their families are safe and sound. They are hero-worshipped for playing the role of a good family man. On the other hand, women struggle through marriages, they struggle with in-laws and they struggle if they are finding it difficult to bear a child. No one questions the man. A divorced woman is a curse to the family but a divorced man is well, just a divorced man.

If you are a woman, it is your duty to understand that if your husband is angry, he is tired from a long day at work. Bear with it and make him tea. Nobody cares if you had a long day at work and you have to do the household chores, tend to your children and the rest of the family too. Go make your own tea. In fact, you don’t deserve a cup of tea. You are a woman and you are conditioned for this, smile and bear with it. These struggles are beyond imagination for the women in first world countries, but they are real for a majority of women living in the Indian subcontinent. 

Motherhood is the most fulfilling feeling ever. It brings to life this superhuman that lives inside a woman she never knew existed. It is almost impossible to articulate the strength and pain it takes to nurture a human inside your body, to give birth and raise a child. Later, comes slithering the postpartum depression, throwing women into the dark pit of despair and sadness, eating the joy of being a mother like a termite eats the wood. She is judged for her mental health instead of getting support. If they choose to work, they are guilty of leaving their children too much. If they do not work, they feel worthless. Each day is a vicious psychological struggle.

To conclude, all of this nagging is just to establish one simple point; women deserve way more appreciation and gratitude than they are given. They go through a lot every day. They work hard and give their best to every role they play. Feminism, gender equality and women rights are bigger things. Let’s give women some credit first. My mother is one of the most hardworking women I know and she is a housewife. Working or not working, appreciating women for what they do and go through because they are women is primary. I will end with a quote by R.H. Shin-

 “She is everything, even when she is treated like nothing.”

The giver and nurturer of life, the epitome of strength and courage, the unsung Shero!