Tribute to Responsibility Process

Have to, plan to, must to. You recognize yourself in here? Have to clean the apartment, planning to exercise, must to see relatives. Maybe tomorrow I have time for myself and relax, do the things I really want. And that tomorrow never comes.

Many problems are arising with this cycle of self-denial. Here are a few examples:

• Revenge: Sometimes you revenge all these “must”s and “have”s on the internet, browsing eternity in social media or playing some game until two hours have passed. Or it is two o'clock and tomorrow is a workday.
• Jealousy: How dare they just do what they love, when you of all people have the right but no time. From here it is a short route to anger and hate.
• Anger and hate: You cannot tolerate other people enjoying themselves.

All these obligations are an unnecessary burden to carry around. What is even worse, you diminish yourself into an object. You are not the one making the decision, you are forced to do these things because someone or something from the outside is forcing you. And that is just a pile of bullsh*t.

Now some of you are thinking “But that is right, I have no choice! I have to clean and go to the gym. My mother will be upset if I don’t visit. blaah, blaah.” The harsh truth is: as an adult, you always have a choice. You can choose not to clean the apartment or go to the gym. What comes to your mother (or any other family-obligation), you always can say no. If they'll respond negatively, that is none of your concern. You are not responsible for other peoples’ feelings; it will be their choice of how they want to react to your decisions.

If you still feel you really need to do this stuff, then choose to do it. The tasks can be the same: cleaning, exercising and visiting relatives. The huge difference will be in your mindset; I choose to do this because I just love the smell and feel of a clean home. I want to go to the gym because I love my body nimble and strong. I choose to visit my mother because I am really keen on seeing her.

And what about the self-denial? I strongly suggest that you will find calendar time for yourself. When all the obligations (now wisely turned into "I choose to" and "I want to" mode) are done, a reward is a nice bonus. The old saying “Everything is optional until you promise to do it” is a warning. When you promise something to someone, make sure you'll keep your promise. Especially, when the someone is yourself. Betraying others is bad, but letting yourself down.. that is unforgivable. You have to get along with yourself every day. If you haven't already, start building that loving, caring and trusting relationship with yourself. Promise yourself the TV show or evening with the painting after you have accomplished something. And keep it. Maybe next time doing the tasks will be a little bit easier.

Word is full of people doing the things they have to, taking no joy or pride out of the work. Living always for the tomorrows, where they will do something fun and uplifting. Only to notice, that the day did never come. Don’t be one of those.

Words have great power. Use them wisely.

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