A tribute for Mother’s Day: Mum - You are my why!

Most people fortunate enough to be parented, remember the good times, remember the tough times and know they are shaped with each parental conversation. Though equally, everyone’s story is individual. Today is Mother's Day, a time to honour awesome mums around the world! This year is the first Mother's Day without mum, who recently passed away. This post is a tribute to mum and her story.

Mum was born in a village within Bosnia & Herzegovina. By the age of 4 mum had already experienced, poverty, sadness and the heavy cost of war. It was a usual day in the village, nothing to speak of, expect it wasn’t – the village sat in the middle of a saddening and costly war.

My grandmother was protecting her young family whilst venturing across a field for essential supplies. My mum aged 4, in my grandmother’s arms. All appeared quiet, and so grandma proceeded with caution with a watch on the children.

In a split second everything changed! A bullet had hit my grandmother from nowhere, she dropped to the ground dropping my mum to the ground as she felt the bullet hit. That day change life forever, my mum had lost her mother, the family in grief and yet focused on day to day survival. An event that mum carried with her for the rest of her life.

Nonetheless, life continued. Mum remained with her extended family. Life was tough. The family did not have wealth and made life work through the farm that they looked after (as was typical in the area at that time). Mum stayed in school until age 8 and then was taken out of school to support the family. Mum worked on the farm as a shepherdess and devoted herself to her duties, even at such a young age.

Years later....

Mum moved in to live with us when dad passed away. An opportunity for time with her grandchildren at a time of deep sadness. Having lived with us for 17 years, another sad day came….. it was an ordinary morning; I prepare to go downstairs for breakfast, ready the children and set out for a day at work. Except it wasn’t an ordinary morning. I go to check on mum as usual. Except something is not right. Mum is still in bed, she can’t move or speak. I quickly call for an ambulance. Guided through a series of questions the ambulance promptly arrives at the house.

Mum had experienced a stroke in the night. It was severe… it was night-time, so no one heard a sound. Everyone asleep, and no one to call for an ambulance within the window of time required to minimise the impact of a stroke.

That day, mum was severely paralysed and subsequently could only move one arm and her head. Yet more though! It was the time of the pandemic. The simple visits to hold mum's hand were no longer possible… the ability to be in the same room was not possible. We had to adapt to have any chance of a relationship during this devastating time.

Supporting mum, taking care of the children's well-being and accountable for a global function. This was personally a tremendously tough time to lead through. Going through a multitude of feelings that could never be described in words with sufficient justice to depict the journey, To add to it all, COVID had hit the globe, rapidly spreading with each announcement, focus redoubled on the well-being of family, friends and colleagues.

Thankfully, everyone was talking about the importance of well-being. LinkedIn filled with posts on supporting each other in these difficult times. I knew that it was a time that I would need support from those around given all the all areas of life that were moving at pace. So appreciative of immediate family and friends checked on us regularly. Recognizing that this required support from a variety of sources, I advised key people in the organisations that I worked within, particularly focused on ensuring stakeholders remained supported and our services continued throughout. Deeply, deeply appreciate all the kind folks that supported throughout such a tough period.

With so many twists and turns in the story, we found a way to make it work. Mum could hold a tablet with her remaining arm retaining the ability to move. Mum held that tablet every time we talked, every conversation encouraging her speech. For all the words mum could not say, one phrase she could say time and time again ‘I love you’. That pretty much summed up mum!

The journey continued until very recently when mum passed away, the first Mother’s Day since mum’s passing. With all the tributes in the world, I could never give sufficient justice to all that mum gave to others, her extended family and community. Mum had so many tough moments in life, yet she remained an explorer, truly strong woman and always held immense courage. Mum, you are my why!

Today on Mother’s Day and as part of Women’s History Month, this is a heartfelt tribute to mum. A true example of a women in leadership with such a humble and understated approach to life. Throughout life mum remained a woman of passion, resilience, determination, heart, and grit. So brave, with the ability to share vulnerability in such a heartfelt way.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has supported us throughout this period - friends, colleagues, and family. To each and every one of you, thank you for every kind word and for all your support.

Thanks also to everyone who gave us encouragement through the period of home schooling in lockdown. Mum would continue to be proud of all the efforts in safeguarding the success of her grandchildren during this heartfelt time. Delighted to be a mum in supporting their tremendous progress, personal growth, and tenacity.

Mum, you are my why!

#mothersday #womenweadmire #womenwerespect #womenwehonour #mum?