A tribute to "Florence" our (ugly) Fiat Multipla

Something a little more homespun for the summer break.

Anthropomorphism is defined as the attribution of human traits to non-human entities. It has gone on as long as humans have told stories: from prehistoric cave engravings, to Greek or Hindu gods, and up to the Brothers Grimm and Disney. We can all think of a movie or a book where the object in question has been an automobile with quirky features. Ian Fleming gave James Bond flashy sports cars, but he saved human characteristics for his children's book "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" and the eponymous thinking (and flying) car.

Florence, our Fiat Multipla (bought in 2000) could not fly, but has been - for the past 18 years - a member of the family. After arriving home from a summer holiday with her again on the back of a breakdown lorry, the third year in succession, this time our car mechanic shook his head slowly. The cam belt had snapped and bent the piston heads - the automotive equivalent of a major heart attack and earlier this week we had to say our goodbyes to Florence. Our children, now mostly all grown up, have conflicting emotions: saying goodbye to their metal sibling that cradled them as infants (in her unique 3 x 2 seat arrangement) on trips all over Europe but also an increasingly unreliable family member that had also become a liability (and a danger to them). Losing all power when travelling in the fast lane of a busy motorway is not a safe place to be, and for this to happen in different ways for three years in succession is reckless if not negligence on the part of the main drivers (i.e. mainly me). Now as young adults, our children were close to making a collective intervention against their eccentric (some would say irresponsible) parents.

So what's so special about an ugly old car? Well first of all - the ugliness. The Multipla was regularly voted the ugliest car on the European Market. You have to admire the Turin based privately owned company for revitalising the model - based very loosely on one of its classics from the 1950s/60s - the Fiat 600 Multipla. The new Multipla was a brave design statement. It has been loved and hated in equal measure. In the year 2000, the BBC Top Gear programme voted it both best family car and ugliest car the same year. It has appeared in the New York's Museum of Modern Art as a design icon but we have also been openly laughed at on the highways of Britain. Ours, one of the first to reach to the UK in 2000, often brought derision: "The frog" or the "Popemobile" was the name given to it by some colleagues of mine as it sat in the employee car park of The Body Shop International. It was the company pay check that had enabled us to buy her, so she sat proud.

Arguably, the clock was ticking for Florence even if the cam belt had decided not to break. Fiat stopped making Multiplas in 2010 and the rot first set in in 2004 when they redesigned the front of the car: putting it on a diet and removing the distinctive bulge below the windscreen. The sales executives at Fiat had lost their nerve and the designers had lost the argument. Florence was a true authentic real ugly Multipla with no cosmetic surgery. In fact she was not ugly at all, but a work of real beauty. We added to her allure with the Obama 2008, Obama 2012, EU, Catalan donkey and Spanish bull bumper stickers (themselves as likely to attract disapproving glances depending on where we were). We should have known that our failed attempts to find a black and white Cornish flag to add to these during last week's holiday was a omen.

And the other reason that the scrapyard was approaching was the fact that whilst not ugly, she was certainly dirty. Back in 2000 everyone was telling us to buy Diesel, for reasons of fuel efficiency and even environmental impact. Now, despite the efforts of some automotive companies to cheat emissions results, we know that old diesel is very bad for the environment and for human health. Florence was not just threatening her passengers, she was a treat to anyone living near a road or motorway.

So goodbye Florence. We will be opening a good Chianti in your honour.