A Tribute to Everyone Else

Think about what you give to the world.

Many of us are in awe of the thought leaders and experts who post on LinkedIn. Often, the next thing that comes after the awe is comparing ourselves with them. We might even take one more step and judge ourselves negatively in that comparison.

Hang on a second. That scenario that took a split second in real life was three separate things: 1. Awe 2. Comparison 3. Judgement. If we want to stop feeling bad about ourselves every time we find someone we admire, we need to pay attention to this.

• Awe is good. We're recognizing someone's contributions and understanding ourselves better by knowing what we admire. We may be inspired by them.
• Comparison is good. "Don't compare yourself with others" is simplistic, unhelpful advice. Comparing is rooted in evolution and survival and helps us find ourselves within our community. It's not inherently a device to make us feel bad. We do that.
• Judgement is us taking something we observe and turning it into a weapon to punish ourselves. Before you do that, take a moment. Just notice that you're getting ready to punish yourself because you're not them. But why should you be them? Isn't the "goal" to be the best you that you can be?

Where do you soar? What gifts do you use in your own unique way. Maybe you're not articulate in meetings because you're shy, but if you write down your thoughts and share them, others find them to be truly inspired, and something only you would offer. We need your ideas. Or maybe you took the time to help a colleague who was struggling, even though it was a crisis moment and you didn't have time. That was an uncommon kindness and might've meant a great deal to that person.

Don't think those things don't matter. They absolutely do matter. That piece that you shared might've saved your team hours of work. The help you gave your colleague might've made the difference in retaining a valuable employee who just needed a little help. Our lives are made up of these small moments when we give to or receive from others. Do some people offer huge, highly-visible contributions? Sure. Are those the only contributions that count? If you're a composer but you're not Mozart, should you give up?

We create an "us and them" split in our minds - the amazing people and the rest of us. That's a lie. Much like those borders on a map that don't exist in real life, there isn't really a separation between the admired and the admirers. We create this. We can uncreate it.

I want to honor and thank the imaginary "rest of us" who see ourselves as admirers, not admirable. Take some time to reconsider that by thinking about what you've given to the world and how you soar in your own way. What are all the good things that wouldn't have happened if you weren't there. What about you would everyone miss? Make a list and continue to add to it. See what happens.

“Achieve some perfection yourself, so that you may not fall into sorrow by seeing the perfection in others.” -Rumi

Kathy Fava

www.dhirubhai.net/in/kathleenfava