Tribute to a Community Leader

“Nutrition, healthcare & education = middle class”. I found those handwritten words in Spanish on an undated draft speech written by my father. They are representative of the belief system that propelled dad forward through his lifetime and what he hoped to see for all Mexicans. Walfre Ibarra Escobar, passed away this past Monday after making a lasting impact on thousands of lives. I write this tribute not only through the grief of the loss of my father but mostly because my heart is full with gratitude for a lifetime of lessons worth sharing and the immense community support our family has received. I write in English because it is the common language most people I am connected with understand. His lessons transcend borders.

Dad was mostly known for his contributions to real estate development in his hometown of Mazatlán, as a committed proponent for Mexico’s tourism industry and his support for youth baseball – that is what the local news reported this week. What is much more important is that he invested most of his waking hours on them (he didn't sleep much) because he believed they would lift people out of poverty and help pay for nutrition, health care & education. Everything else would cascade from those 3 things. Though he worked closely with all levels of government he was critical and impatient with them, once lamenting in a very public speech that communities had no choice but rely on the proceeds of the illegal drug trade to pay for community infrastructure as a result of government failures.

Dad held his values close. He led the local water (utilities) corporation for a short period but had little choice but to leave. He experienced aggressive pressure due to his refusal to allow the municipal government to use the corporation’s funds as its petty cash. It was not the only time he lost an important post for refusing to compromise his values. He still found his way.

Though his career focused mostly on the sale and development of commercial and residential real estate, dad developed social housing for a time. He was also a governance role appointee at INFONAVIT - the national housing institute in Mexico or the equivalent of CMHC in Canada, on behalf of the National Chamber of Commerce.

Dad was a strong supporter of journalism in a country that has long been one of the deadliest for that profession. He supported the media by regularly contributing as a commentator on various economic and political topics. He did not use a nom de plume, so I often worried, especially during periods when things were ugly. I lived in Canada for most of that period. His belief in independent journalism was such that he was of the few business leaders that supported the creation of an independent investigative publication that offers Sinaloa-wide coverage. This, even when many buckled to government pressure to make it fail. It survives thanks to committed and courageous people like him. He supported independent journalists quietly and in different ways. He was never as proud as when he read or listened to any of our family members speak candidly on the media. He saw independent journalism as part of the community’s education and their right to accessing information.

Dad believed profoundly in education. When he was a young man, he went away to university in Guadalajara where he made lifelong friends. When my grandfather was no longer able to pay tuition, his best friend’s mother stepped in so he could graduate as she loved and believed in him. Dad would become an economist and would pay this help forward many times over. He was the oldest of 10 boys and 1 girl. He was a father figure to his siblings - and many others I learned this week- as he helped support and guide them through the peaks and deep economic valleys that characterized Mexico. After graduating, he travelled to the US for work like so many Mexicans still do today. He worked there for 5 years and sent money home so a group of his brothers could go to university in Mexico City. He paid for books, lodging, food – everything. My uncles in turn shared their food and lodging with others. No matter what the Xenophobes tell you about low-income immigrants – illegal or otherwise – they are most like my father was, on a mission for a better life – usually for others. It is estimated 38 million Mexicans send remittances back home today.

Dad was a mentor to many men and women. But it was women’s leadership development that he was most interested in. He believed that was the future. No matter what people think of the candidates, ?dad loved that the 2 main candidates for President of Mexico are women as are many candidates at municipal levels. He mentored women and supported them on their journey to leadership positions. He played a supportive role to founders of the local association of executive women. I don’t give dad credit for the amazing things these women have achieved – that was all them. Yet, in a country that fights every day to shed its Machista image and suffers from a loss of 11 women a day to femicide and where over 26,000 women have gone missing since 2006, dad was a true ally.

I don’t think he thought of it this way, but he was a social justice warrior. This week, an older woman of modest means who he’d known most of his life stayed with us throughout the vigil and accompanied my mom, sister and I all the way to the crematorium. She said she wanted to accompany dad to the very end. He and one of my uncles, helped her access the programs that gave her a home of her own, and free medical care for the breast cancer she is fighting.?

Dad overcame alcoholism and I believe suffered from mental health challenges most of his adult life due to trauma. He lived 40 years sober and was an example for many who followed him on that journey of sobriety. Like so many people, his mental health challenges were fuel not a barrier. It was only later in life that all he had lived through had begun to sink in and his body no longer allowed him to burn off the anxiety.

He was far from perfect. He had a strong personality and sometimes seemed to have little sympathy for people he didn’t think were fulfilling their potential. He could lack empathy for people who suffered through issues like depression, as he didn’t understand why they didn’t just power through. He once told me succumbing to depression or addiction were not luxuries he had. More recently, he softened his approach and even apologized to someone, as I learned this week. He despised those he thought just sought advantage or wasted their privilege.

My father was courageous and sometimes seemed fearless. He did not leave the hospital after entering in January. He lost almost all mobility except for facial expressions and lip movements – which was very helpful for communication since the traqueostomy did not allow him to make sound when he spoke. He could not breathe on his own. Yet, it was quickly apparent that the same compulsive commitment to everything else in his life turned to trying to get better. He was sad and had bad days, but they weren’t the norm. He was fortunate to have access to incredible health care and demanded his 3 physio sessions each day. He enjoyed visits from his friends and siblings. Though deep down we knew where this was headed, one of my uncles told me this week that he really thought my dad might walk out of the hospital. He wasn’t alone.? My dad reminded me never to assume loss of mobility or one person’s worst nightmare equals a loss of will to live for another. I think of all those people who have the will to fight but don't have the same access to health care.

Another one of my uncles said he knows my dad wasn’t ready to go. I have quietly been thinking the same. He’s probably really irritated we didn’t make it work. A third uncle said he is regrets that my dad didn’t get a chance to enjoy the results of his life’s work. Someone at the vigil asked to lead a prayer because they felt they had let him down. That is where I disagree. Walfre Ibarra Escobar admired his siblings and all the people he chose to walk alongside. He followed their every achievement and battle. He wanted to stay in this life because there was so much more he wanted to accomplish and that would have never changed in a 1000 years, he never would have rested. But he did see what had grown.

?I now see that my dad was very much like my grandmother. My abuela planted the seeds and my dad helped them grow. He took great pride in his brilliant siblings, nieces, nephews and mentees. He helped set the foundation for teachers and professors, engineers, physicians, social workers, entrepreneurs, leaders. Of the many women cousin’s in my family, one teaches sessions on financial management for women and is an advocate against gender-based violence. Another is head of a rural emergency room. Another did her part to fight the illegal drug trade, while an uncle became Chief Risk Officer for the Mexican operations of an international bank, while several others are researchers and often controversial media contributors. These are not easy jobs that get accolades, but they endeavor to make the world better and safer. I and many of us in the next generations have spent most of our lives bestowed with much more privilege than dad had growing up. We won’t be able to do the breadth of what dad did. However, while he rests, dad will just need to trust and watch while the rest of us build on his life’s work. ??

This week has been full of complicated emotions. I have learned things I did not know about my father. I also realized his death is felt as a community loss, not my family's to grieve alone. This was clear from the hundreds of people who joined us for the period of vigil, some joining us at the hospital, and others remaining with us for the better of part of 12 hours. Most importantly, his life, as my abuela's, was an extraordinary gift that will continue to make the world a better place for decades to come, through the people they connected with.

https://www.debate.com.mx/sinaloa/mazatlan/Fallece-el-empresario-Walfre-Ibarra-Escobar-en-Mazatlan-20240506-0044.html

https://riodoce.mx/2024/05/06/fallece-el-empresario-walfre-ibarra/

https://www.noroeste.com.mx/hubnegocios/fallece-walfre-ibarra-escobar-JH7238319

#healthcare #socialjustice #Economy #poverty #recovery #addiction #alcoholism #mobility #disability #leadership #government #immigration #remittances #journalism #media #supportlocalmedia