A Tribute to the Big Man

Well, when I say big man, I literally mean it. He is a big man both in stature and for the fact that I look up to him. This is my dad, the one person when people celebrate Fathers’ Day on their WhatsApp Status I am confused on what to do. The closest he is to social media is Facebook for which it is our last born who created him an account he has never used. So other than appreciating him for making us the people we are as a family, I'll write him a tribute here for being a pillar in our lives. We are nine siblings, just so you know. Not that it’s any of your business either way.

So this is the man who have impacted my life in a big way. Most of the values I appreciate about manhood is attributed to him. He is the greatest disciplinarian in the history of time if such a thing even exists. Mr. Aduol was the no-nonsense kind of parent we nicknamed “Police” as a family. There was not a second thought about doing the right thing and I remember at some point Mum would threaten to report us to dad for which that day I would do anything she asked of me. This is including washing dishes which wasn’t and isn’t my cup of tea to date. Mark you when we were kids my father wasn’t for the idea of men doing house chores especially kitchen duties. Life is a whole new experience though, these days he even prepares meals for the family and it’s an awesome experience.

Some of the memorable and life defining experiences I have about my dad run back into my childhood and I’ll recount them here:

In April 2003 during Easter Holidays (I was in Class 3 then), I had an unfortunate experience of stepping on a chick that was brooding next to a pillar at our veranda. The chick died on the spot and being a cheeky one, I decided to take my chances running from my dad when he summoned me. This was one of the most terrifying moments being he didn’t only chase me all around the compound, he caught me and told me to lie flat on the floor. These are some the scariest moments you could think of as a child – especially knowing him as police – but he didn’t beat me even though I had made peace with the eventuality and was waiting for it to rain. In a way, he wanted to prove to me that I couldn’t outrun him even if I tried to. This is the day I knew I was meant to be an athlete and resigned to that fact.

Between July and August 2005, as a family we had the most distressing moment. It so happened that everyone was getting ill around the same time. I have never known what the problem was but I was the one to suffer longer than every other family member. This saw me get admitted to two different hospitals over the same time i.e. Siaya District Hospital in Siaya and later Nangina Mission Hospital in Busia. Over this time, as a Head Teacher at Wagai Primary School in Gem Constituency he had to go to school on a daily basis but never failed to visit even a single day. Like clockwork he would be by my hospital bed at 6pm every evening and being mum was my caretaker at the hospital, he also doubled up as the guardian at home. He never failed us for his commitment and dedication, I appreciate him. Later that year when I resumed classes, he ensured that I didn’t have to run home for lunch as was routine and made arrangements with a local eatery (kibandaski) for the rest of my third term in Class 5.

In 2008, I did my Kenya Certificate of Primary Education (KCPE) with results released on 30th December the same year. I didn’t perform as I had hoped for and probably not as good as he had wished for with a score of 342 marks. Early in January I got an admission to Rang’ala Boys which happened to not have been a good school to him so he had to find an alternative school for me. He found an opportunity for me to join Ambira High School. Over this period, I had already started getting worried whether I was going to join any school as it was running late. I remember mentioning the same to mum and when he heard, his response was rather mean but it struck a nerve. “If you wanted to go to a good school you would have gotten better grades.” I didn’t know what he had been working on even to secure me the admission but this became a wake-up call. For whatever I want in this life I have to work for it and that has never left me to this day. Tough love at its best.

I was admitted on 16th February 2009 which would mark the start of my 4 year high school education at the institution. Over the period, he never failed to show up for any of the 12 visiting days and 4 parents’ days that they were called for. For those who went to boarding school you can relate with the thrill that came with visiting days. With dad it was a time to know about the situation of things at home and of course an assured “United” loaf of bread, 500gms BlueBand, 1kg sugar and bananas. I loved these days like no other especially when he would meet up with my sisters which meant more food and shopping for that matter.

On 1st March 2013, 2012 Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education (KCSE) Examination results were released and as history repeats itself, I didn’t get the grade I had hoped for which I presumed would be a disappointment to dad but on the contrary he was overjoyed. I remember this day better because it happens it’s the first time I remember my Dad hugging me in the history of time. It was a sensational moment and I was happy because he was happy if that makes sense. It’s strange if you ask because my dad is not the kind of man to show emotions and I even wonder at times if he ever told mum that he loves her. Maybe I’ll ask some day, for now let me just celebrate him.

Later in the year when I was to join University to pursue my undergraduate degree in Pharmacy, before I could leave Siaya on 31st August 2013, he for the first time took me out to eat (Conspicuous because he is the kind of man who believes that you eat with your family at home and doesn’t casually eat out). I could see the joy and pride in him as he celebrated my journey. Everyone around who dared to know would automatically know that his son was going to the university to pursue Pharmacy. He is the kind of man who celebrates the small wins that may not be a thrill to you but to him these are everything. Through to this day, he has always been a part of my journey and I can’t talk about myself without him or his influence on it.

Ps. As ruthless disciplinarian, he is the one who can throw a “rungu” at you and if you are lucky to miss it drops a banana tree on impact (Evidence-based)