Tribe

Over the past six years I have learned first hand from military veterans, our American heroes, the importance of building a tribe. The definition of a tribe is the group of people that you would both help feed and help defend. It is a group that is governed by selfless acts of service. Trust and loyalty cultivated in this type of group cannot be replicated anywhere else. We live a society that highlights selfishness and greed. While celebrated from time to time, selfless acts of service are not regularly highlighted. We are encouraged to look out for ourselves and chase an American dream highlighted by getting as much as you can with little regard to others. This is surface level satisfaction that provides no real fulfillment. There is a reason why they say we are more connected than we have ever been before this day in age, but the average person has never been more lonely. We were created to connect with others, and deep connection only comes from the selflessness of a tribe.

While I have never served or come close to anything resembling a combat zone, many amazing individuals have given me some insight into why the brotherhood of the American soldier is so deep. Soldiers experience this tribal way of thinking at war, but when they come home they realize that the tribe they were actually fighting for wasn’t their country, it was their unit. A war zone creates a community of sufferers that allows individuals to experience an immensely reassuring connection to each other. As people come together to face an existential threat, class differences are erased, income disparities become irrelevant, race is overlooked, and individuals are assessed simply by what they are willing to do for the group. I have learned in working with veterans, trust is built on this foundational principle. It seems so simple when you think about it, but it is amazing how many leaders neglect to build trust in this way.

Self-determination theory holds that human beings need three basic things in order to be fulfilled and content.

1. They need to feel competent at what they do.

2. They need to feel authentic in their lives.

3. They need to feel connected to others.

These are three things that I live by as a leader. I have only learned this through trial and error over the past 12 years. I know at its core, this is what I want as a human, and it is no different for anyone else. People don’t want the easy way out. They don’t want things handed to them.

Competency comes from the meticulous trial and error that comes from being willing to learn something new, and stick with it over a long period of time.

Authenticity comes from knowing that you strive each day to live by the code you have set for yourself, no matter how hard that may be.

Connectedness only comes from selfless acts of service to others.

I am not perfect, but I have learned you can never go wrong in any situation by having your eyes wide open and a willingness to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty. It is amazing what you learn when you are humble, listen, and look at each situation as an opportunity to add a page to an ever growing book that encapsulates your life. Some chapters are good, some are bad, but all of them have a purpose. The ending, and the way you will be remembered, will be through the tribe you build.