Treasuring Your Scars

You try to keep the wound camouflaged,

The stitches heal, but the years are lost,

Another bottle on the shelf can't numb the pain

Why're you running from yourself now?

You can't run away

Cause your scars shine like dark stars

Yeah, your wounds are where the light shines through

So let's go there, to that place where

We sing these broken prayers where the light shines through--

The wound is where the light shines through

Yeah, the wound is where the light shines through

And the only tattoos that I have are scars

I got your name written on my heart

And the story that brought us here ain't the thing that changed, no

I wanna see that light shining

Brighter than the pain

- ''Where the Light Shines Through'' – SwiYou try to keep the wound camouflaged,

The stitches heal, but the years are lost,

Another bottle on the shelf can't numb the pain

Why're you running from yourself now?

You can't run away

Cause your scars shine like dark stars

Yeah, your wounds are where the light shines through

So let's go there, to that place where

We sing these broken prayers where the light shines through--

The wound is where the light shines through

Yeah, the wound is where the light shines through

And the only tattoos that I have are scars

I got your name written on my heart

And the story that brought us here ain't the thing that changed, no

I wanna see that light shining

Brighter than the pain

- ''Where the Light Shines Through'' – Switchfoot, 2016

I have a wound.

One day, several years ago, I was walking in the dark trying not to wake my family up, but as fate would have it, my little toe crashed into an open door.

I yelped in pain and ended up waking everybody up - the very thing I set out NOT to do.

Since then, that toe has never been right. Just last month, I walked, clumsily into another door, and the same thing happened again.

That wound has now become a scar.

And emotionally, I have scars too. There are particular words when uttered, trigger a childhood memory or a sense of loss which causes me to yelp, to react emotionally completely out of control.

And I’ve seen many leaders with the same scars.

It reminded me of a lion I had seen on one of Sir David Attenborough’s shows.

It had been wounded in a fight and was clearly in pain, so it lashed out at everything and anything in its path. Cubs, lionesses, anything. Its wounds were raw.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Your scars and your pain can be the qualifications, the credentials, the stepping stones, you need to get to your destiny.

Those scars, those pain, those things you run away from, those are the things that can keep you grounded, keep you full of empathy and stop you from judging others.

Over the years, I have learnt to treasure my scars.

I have seen many many patients whose scars have caused them to destroy their lives.

And I look upon them with empathy, with compassion, with love.

Because as I hear their stories, I know that could easily have been me.

I am fortunate that I had access to information, that I was born in a middle-class home, that I am surrounded by friends and family and many other advantages that these patients of mine did not have.

I read, for instance, the story of Victor Frankl – who said:

‘’Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way’’

That statement made me realise that I had the power to choose.

But here's the thing:

I could act on this because I had access to that information in the first place - through a book I was reading.

It is unlikely that if I was living homeless, had drug addicts as friends, and my whole purpose in life was how to get my next meal, I would come across this.

So if you’re reading this, treasure your scars.

And use those scars wisely.

Those scars can be used to heal or can be used to wound.

To lift people up, or to tear them down.

There is always a choice.

I try to choose the former, and I hope you do too.

Rooting for you,

Steven.

Whilst you're here...

1. Work with me. I can public-speak, mentor, write or consult. Hop onto www.stevenadjei.com for a taste, read what people say about my work, and holler at [email protected] for a chat. I'd love some feedback as well on the above article.

2. Buy my book. You won't regret it. It's won several awards and has been a #1 Amazon best-seller in EIGHTEEN different categories in multiple countries.

The direct links are below if you are in the UK or US. If you already have, I'd love an honest review on Amazon. Reviews really do help us out :)-. And watch this space for information on my second book, Chasing Permanence.

3. Talk to me: I won't judge. My strongest values are empathy and resilience, and as someone who's been through a lot of pain, I can work with you to help overcome (or manage) your business pain and turn it into victory.