Trauma-Informed Care: A Lifeline for a Young Child Who Feels Like a Failure

Imagine being a young child who wakes up every morning with a crushing sense of failure. Their father has left, moving to another country, leaving a void that feels impossible to fill. They have ADHD, which makes it hard to sit still, focus, or fit in, and because of this, they’re constantly reprimanded for things they cannot control. Their anxiety and depression became so overwhelming that they missed school for a year and a half, struggling even to get out of bed. To make matters worse, they were bullied, and when they sought help from teachers and authorities, those in charge did little to protect them. Eventually, they had to leave the school, but the cycle repeated at the next school and in social groups. Each time, the child was blamed, and no reasonable adjustments were made to accommodate their needs. This is their story, but it’s also a call to action for adopting trauma-informed care and promoting social inclusion.

Understanding Trauma-Informed Care

Trauma-informed care is an approach that recognizes the profound impact of trauma on a person's emotional, mental, and physical well-being. It shifts the focus from asking, "What’s wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" This approach acknowledges that behaviours often viewed as problematic may be coping mechanisms for dealing with unresolved trauma.

For a child in this situation, trauma-informed care could be a lifeline. It would provide a compassionate, understanding environment that addresses their needs holistically, rather than simply punishing them for actions they cannot control.

The Complex Impact of Trauma

Trauma can manifest in various ways and leave deep scars, especially when it’s compounded by other challenges. This child’s trauma includes the pain of their father leaving, the struggles with ADHD, the constant criticism for their behaviour, and the intense isolation caused by anxiety and depression. Add to that the experience of bullying, which was ignored by the very adults meant to protect them, and you have a child who feels utterly worthless and alone.

When trauma is layered like this, it can exacerbate existing conditions. ADHD, for example, can make it difficult for them to regulate emotions, stay focused, and control impulses—leading to the very behaviours that they are repeatedly reprimanded for. The constant criticism and lack of support deepen their feelings of failure, making it even harder to engage in school or social activities.

The Importance of Trauma-Informed Care and Social Inclusion

Trauma-informed care offers a different approach—one that seeks to understand and address the underlying causes of a child's behaviour rather than merely addressing the symptoms. For this child, trauma-informed care means recognizing that their struggles with sitting still, focusing, and fitting in are not intentional defiance but symptoms of deeper issues that need understanding and support.

Here are some key principles of trauma-informed care that could benefit this child:

1. Safety: Creating a safe, supportive environment is crucial. This includes ensuring that they feel physically and emotionally secure in school and social settings. Adults need to be aware of how criticism and lack of action against bullying can retraumatize a child.
2. Trustworthiness and Transparency: Building trust with the child is essential. They need to know that the adults in their life are there to support them, not blame or punish them. Open communication about expectations, support strategies, and consistent follow-through can help rebuild this trust.
3. Peer Support and Social Inclusion: Feeling isolated only deepens the trauma. Ensuring that the child has access to peer support and inclusive social opportunities is vital. This involves creating environments where they feel welcome and supported, and where their needs are accommodated, not overlooked. Adults in charge of these groups must be proactive in making reasonable adjustments, such as offering alternative seating arrangements, allowing movement breaks, or providing quiet spaces.
4. Empowerment, Voice, and Choice: Giving the child a say in decisions that affect them can help rebuild their sense of self-worth. This might involve working with them to develop coping strategies for their ADHD or finding alternative ways for them to express themselves in social settings.
5. Cultural, Historical, and Gender Sensitivity: Understanding the cultural and social context of the child’s experiences, including the stigma associated with mental health, ADHD, and being a victim of bullying, is important. Being sensitive to these issues can help in providing care that respects their identity and experiences.

The Role of Social Inclusion

Social inclusion is a critical component of trauma-informed care. It involves ensuring that the child has opportunities to engage with peers and participate in activities where they feel valued and understood. This requires more than just placing them in a group—it means actively creating environments where they can succeed and feel a sense of belonging.

In practical terms, this could mean training educators and group leaders to recognize and accommodate the needs of children with ADHD and trauma histories. It might involve creating peer mentoring programs where the child can connect with others who understand their struggles. It also means holding schools and social groups accountable for addressing bullying and ensuring that all children feel safe and supported.

Moving Forward with Compassion and Inclusion

Implementing trauma-informed care and promoting social inclusion is not about excusing behaviour or lowering expectations. It’s about understanding and responding to the needs of children who have experienced trauma and ensuring that they have the support they need to heal and thrive. For this child, it means recognizing that their worth is not defined by their struggles or the failures of the adults around them to protect and support them. It’s about showing them that they are valued, understood, and capable of overcoming their challenges.

By adopting a trauma-informed approach and prioritizing social inclusion, we can create environments where children like them feel safe, supported, and empowered to succeed. It’s about offering hope and a path forward, even when the journey feels overwhelming. With the right support, this child can begin to see themselves not as someone who is broken, but as someone who is strong, resilient, and deserving of a future full of possibilities.

If you, your school, or any parent you know would like to schedule a free call, to see how we can support you and your child/children implement trauma informed care, please DM me. We have many useful free resources, that we are happy to share.