TRAUMA

Trauma

This post is especially for my family and friends who are: the encouragers, the grinders, the driven, the resilient, the go-to's, and the strong. You may be in danger.?

A few years ago I hit a wall. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced in my life. As someone who is "always" strong, driven and the son of encouragement for so many others, I found myself barely able to pry myself out of bed in the morning. Foolishly, I was shocked that I was experiencing this. How could I be the one struggling to such an extent that I couldn't function? How is it that I find myself inescapably buried under the weight of life? And, how in the world did I get here?

So much of my identity had been built upon the faulty foundation that I was a "rock." I was both foolish and even prideful because I have spent years being wise counsel for others. And if anyone would have shared with me the things that I had experienced throughout the years, I probably would have immediately pointed out what may have been the problem and why. But, it was me. So, not so.?

One of the interesting things about being in the middle of a storm is that it is hard to see things clearly. This is when we really shouldn't lean fully on our own judgement. What made things really tough was me suffering in silence during my descent to shut down. This is because it was business as usual for me. This was easy to do because even at half speed, my ability to produce results is still pretty high. Please hear my heart when I say that my previous statement wasn't made in pride. And, I wouldn't have even shared if it were not for the fact that it highlights how easy it is for our suffering to be undetected because things seem normal. Thankfully, I do have friends that I can confide in. But, like everyone else, I have tough days and even tough weeks. So, I wasn't trying to be a secret agent. I simply didn't think anything of it until I looked up and a few rough days turned into several tough weeks, which turned into a number of months in a blink.

Fast-forwarding a bit, things got really bad and I sought professional counseling. (***Side Note: We should NOT only seek counseling when things are bad!***) I was shocked to discover that I was suffering from PTSD from trauma that happened well over 10 years ago. It took some time for me to process because I didn't think that I had experienced anything that was traumatic, at least by my own definition, before being enlightened. But, I learned that "little t" traumas add up to "big T" trauma, and often have an equal or even greater impact because it goes unaddressed. After a number of sessions and receiving EMDR Therapy I became much more self-aware and was able to get back to myself.

In an effort to help you avoid your mind and body betraying you with a forced shutdown, allow me to jump directly to a few suggestions that may help:

1. Speak with a counselor at least twice a year. It doesn't matter if things are great, horrible or somewhere in between. Treat mental health check-ups just like physicals and teeth cleanings. To function at our best, we need to ensure that we destigmatize both brain and mental health care. One thing that I have become very well acquainted with over this year is the fact that it doesn't matter how gifted, skilled or high-potential we are, if our brain and/or mental health betrays us, we will not be able to live up to our full potential.

2. Prioritize self-care. This is especially for my fellas. Self-care is more than a buzzword for women. As humans, we need to take care of ourselves holistically. A great start is healthy eating, exercise and proper rest. These 3 things alone will work wonders.?

3. Don't be Superman. Until recent years, I thought and behaved like I was a mental and emotional Superman. No matter what I went through, I was going to, "take a lickin' and keep on tickin'." Well, even Superman has kryptonite. What I am not saying is that we should tuck-tail and bury our heads in the sand when things get tough. We have to keep fighting. But, even during war, soldiers have to find times of rest and recovery to be effective. We all need to give ourselves the space and grace to properly process and heal from life's trauma and difficult moments so that we have the strength to travel the road ahead and fight the battles as they arise.

Life is filled with difficult moments and seasons. And, spending over 70 years on earth (the rough, average lifespan worldwide) with unresolved, spiritual, mental and emotional challenges and trauma can make our time on earth pretty miserable. And, this misery won't just be our own, it will inevitably affect those around us as well. To the extent within our control, let's move forward by adopting good physical, mental and emotional practices, and most definitely by addressing unresolved trauma.

P.S. I am really thankful for the work that my brother, Jason Wilson, is doing in this arena! If you haven't had a chance to, be sure to check him out.