Transparency moment

Transparency moment

The pandemic was not particularly helpful to my mental health which in turn battered my physical health as well. There were various attempts at changing this and I actually was doing fairly well two years ago (dropped 25lbs) on the cross country trip before last. I never really had a metric or goal and was honestly fairly happy just being a relatively fat guy and having an excuse. I am 50 years old.?

June 6th

I am 240lbs, I have high cholesterol (not terrible but still too high) and I am considered pre-diabectic. My PSA is ridiculously low, which considering all my uncles, grandfather (father's side) and my father have all had prostate cancer and subsequent removal was a relief.

A week later, I was told that my ankle injury when I was 25 had degenerated too far for surgery.? I had high hopes for this surgery. A complete gut punch, I may have drank a little too much that day. The surgery wasn't going to change the end game (replacement) but it was going to allow me to be relatively pain free for 5-7 more years, giving me less time with the brace, more time before fusion and eventual replacement. What to do?


Suck it the fuck up.

July 6th

I am obese, that means I am fat. In June, I had a telehealth appointment to discuss testosterone? supplements. My testosterone is 330, not deficient but low. I am 50. The doctor stated, “You are obese” and then backtracked, embarrassed and said, “overweight”. The hell? No. I am obese. That’s the deal, follow the science and stop treating me like a child. I am a grown ass adult. It is unhealthy. How do I fix it? I needed metrics to fix it, now I have them. I have no excuse.


Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of reasons. I am 50, physical exertion is harder especially as an obese man with low testosterone who is out of shape. I have a trashed and arthritic ankle. I have arthritis in my neck from the accident when I was 25 and subsequent years of hunched like? a troll over a computer screen (stand up desk for the win). I also have tendonitis in my right elbow. Getting old, damn at least I have lots of stories to tell.

Today, I am 230. I cried.

What has changed?

Let’s be clear, this is hard. I would much rather drink beer, watch John Wick and couch. Instead, I ordered a fitbit. I have halved my meat intake, tripled my vegetable intake and even ordered a fucking vegan burrito for lunch yesterday. The burrito was delicious but damnit, a vegan burrito? I have dropped my beer intake exponentially and switched primarily to good, red wine. I am not a heathen. I am exercising more. I averaged 3.45 miles a day in June. I am tired, I am sore, I apply voltaren cream twice a day to the ankle, ice the ankle, and consume not an inconsequential amount of CBD.


Today, I am fat and 195, I am coming for you.


My mantra: Suck it the fuck up and do it anyway.


Maybe for you: Find a goal, work for it, and define success as progress.





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