The Transparency Dilemma: Staying authentic while keeping some things private

Recently, I shared my POV on transparency and authenticity in a video, which sparked a lot of great conversation. Many of you chimed in with your thoughts, so I wanted to take this opportunity to dive a bit deeper into the topic of honesty, transparency, authenticity, and realness.

If you missed that post, you can check it out here: LinkedIn Post.

We all know that honesty means telling the truth—and in business, authenticity sets us apart and helps build a legacy of trust around our personal brand. However, we often glamorize honesty without fully recognizing that the truth can have consequences for our brand—both positive and negative.

Here are my key strategies for staying authentic and honest while maintaining the right to keep certain things private:

Be thoughtful about what you share

As a consultant and business owner, I’ve had to walk the honesty line: How much do I share with others? Can I be candid with my clients, team, stakeholders, the media? Can I connect with my audiences without disclosing my thoughts, views and feelings on some issues?

While I insist on always remaining truthful about my capabilities and qualifications, one way I’ve stayed honest with my brand is by carefully selecting what I share about myself in person and online. When I’m coaching a client through a tough situation, I may choose to share a similar personal experience I’ve had (or another client has had). When I’m relating to a conference audience, I’ll share an honest anecdote of a time something worked for (or against) me.

If you and I meet, you’ll know I’m an open book and grounded person. But I’ve chosen not to share (on LinkedIn, Facebook, or with my clients) my views on certain things, such as politics, my favorite adult beverage, or religion. Unless the situation specifically warrants sharing my views, which is rare, I’ve chosen to keep those private. (This is an important article to read now that we're navigating an election year.)

Why? In my work, it's not necessary for my clients or audiences to know my views on these topics and they aren't germane to my personal brand. As professionals, we’re allowed to control the information we share. Social media creates unique opportunities and challenges, and creating personal rules for what we will and won’t share (especially with strangers online) helps us focus on staying authentic and honest.

Filter your honesty for different situations and cultures

In business, it’s important to decide in advance what we share—and with whom. I recommend being careful and intentional about disclosing the following:

• Political affiliation or views—a quicksand topic, for sure.
• Any gory details from the corporate or military battlefield. Share your experiences, but be careful with details that may cast doubt on your professionalism or discretion.
• Personal traumas. Choose, in advance, how and where you'd feel comfortable sharing those experiences, if at all. Remember that once disclosed, you can't put the genie back in the bottle.
• Any polarizing opinions about a place/region/culture—you never know where your audience comes from. One job seeker I know blew a job interview because of a flip comment about having no interest in ever visiting visit Durham, NC. She thought she was being funny and likely didn’t mean to insult the city. Her interviewer (the hiring director) was born and raised in Durham and took offense to the flippant comment.

So, if you’re wondering, how much should I share to be perceived as authentic? here's a helpful article I wrote a couple of years ago, with my top tips for creating an authentic online presence. (read here).

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear your insights in the comments below!