Translating Coaching into Therapy: The Benefits and the Boundaries

by Lynn Grodzki, LCSW, MCC, published in the Psychotherapy Networker Magazine July/August 2018

Imagine you’re learning to ride a bike and you’ve asked two people to help: a therapist and a coach. The therapist might stand off to the side, closely observing your attempt to stay upright. She’d be empathic, compassionate when you fall, and give you useful insights about why you’re a little unstable and wobbly. She’d help you express your feelings or frustration about your struggle to move forward on two wheels, and maybe explore why you waited so long to try. Over time, your riding skills would improve as you developed more confidence, armed with new insight and awareness.

The coach, however, would climb on the seat right behind you and ask, “Where do you want to go today?”

This is an exaggeration, of course, but the difference in role is clear. Having a coach right behind you, an ally guiding you and the bike as you both pedal along together, is an example of coaching collaboration. The coach and client work together through intense partnership. Rather than observing from a neutral distance, a coach is at your back, keeping you motivated to continue riding until you can do it on your own, like a pro. You’re in the steering position, and her only agenda is to get you where you wish to go, in the fastest, most focused manner possible.

At its best, this collaborative position can reduce the friction of hierarchy and promote faster behavioral change. You may have experienced it with a fitness coach who’s run alongside you as you’ve jogged around a track. Or perhaps you had a tutor who sat right next to you, shoulder to shoulder, sharing calculations, as you tried to work through an algebra problem. Having a coach at your side, or at your back, can help you go faster and try harder than if you’re being observed by a distant expert. I learned what this collaboration felt like when I hired a life coach to resolve a problem that was beyond my grasp.

I Get Coached

In 1998, I was working full-time as a therapist in a busy private practice. I’d just completed a two-year coach training program and, because I had a business background, had begun coaching a few clients I called reluctant entrepreneurs—people who’d ended up in business but had never studied business basics. Unsurprisingly, this included many of my fellow therapists in private practice. Eventually, I decided to turn the manual I wrote for them into a book, one that would help therapists master the business of therapy. But when an interested publisher asked to see the manuscript, I found I couldn’t move forward with actually writing it. One month went by, and then another and another, with no change in my writing output. It was clear that I needed to hire a coach for myself. So I sought out Pam, a former therapist, now a life coach.

During our first call, Pam asked what I thought was important about writing this book. Although it was supposed to help other therapists, my answer mostly involved all the ways I thought publishing it would build my own career. Pam took a moment to think about this. “Lynn, I’m listening to your reasons for writing and, sweetie (I learned later that Pam called all her coaching clients affectionate names), I just don’t think that you have a big enough vision to get you over the writer’s block. I request that you find a bigger, better reason, other than your personal career agenda, for this book to exist.”

“Like what?”

“Honey, that’s what I’m asking you! I can’t find your answer, but I do believe it’s inside you. If I was thinking about this for myself, I might start with my values. Think about this over the week, and let’s talk more on our next call.”

For Pam, the best way to shift perception when someone was stuck was to get them to think bigger. So I took long walks and thought about what a book with this topic might accomplish for others. It occurred to me that if I could help therapists be more successful, it might keep the therapy profession alive in the world, maybe help it grow. I believed deeply in the importance of therapy and thought about all the therapists I knew toiling in private practice—smart, generous, caring people—who deserved to earn a good living. I began to get the spirit and motivation I needed to start writing in earnest.

Pam was a cheerleader in this endeavor, but she also brought in her other expertise, knowledge of the publishing field. When I’d completed four chapters, she outlined the next step—how to write a book proposal—and when I’d done that, she gave me the name of a copywriter to perfect it. As a coach, Pam modeled a partnership position: she sat behind me on the bike.

I felt that my goals became her goals. Her interest in my success seemed real and helped me move forward faster and more easily than if I’d been on my own. But when I tried to describe my relationship with her to my friends, who were also therapists, I got stuck. Pam was kind of an advisor, but she worked with me, as one therapist would say, “close in”—like a longtime buddy. She had immediate, real reactions. She was flexible and made jokes. She cared a lot about my goal. Certainly, no therapist had ever called me “sweetie” and “honey.”

But she wasn’t really a friend, or even a colleague. We talked by phone. I never met her face-to-face. And while I paid her—as I would a therapist—she was transparent and self-disclosed tidbits about her own life and work to help me stay motivated. She’d “break the frame” to email me between our sessions to find out how I was doing and if I was making progress on a specific action. She made suggestions freely and openly. She introduced me to her publishing resources and shared her network of assistants. When my book got published, she bowed out gracefully, allowing me to take all the credit. This stood as a good example for me of the effectiveness of collaboration and the partnership position, delivered through coaching.

Partnership within Therapy

When I began to develop the Therapy with a Coaching Edge model, I found that some coaching elements fit into therapy easily, while others challenged therapeutic norms and needed modification. So I spent a few years defining a set of distinctly adapted coaching skills for use within therapy sessions, then I thought hard about who was “coachable” within therapy.

Bringing in a coaching style required identifying the therapy clients who could accept and benefit from a directive, action-oriented, short-term method, versus vulnerable clients who’d find this approach too exacting. For clients who seemed to be a fit for this approach, I experimented with formatting sessions to make them more strategic, with a distinct beginning, middle, and end that ensured there was time to both set goals and consolidate gains.

The coaching strategy of commenting openly on progress as it occurs translated well into therapy. I slowed down and paused a session to highlight client results—a new insight, cognition, expression of affect, demonstrated strength, or moment of honest self-reflection. Rather than merely observing signs of their development, I prompted clients to give their session takeaways, and if they came up blank, I asked if I could share what I’d be putting in my notes. Soon clients began to recognize and verbalize their own markers of forward movement in therapy, session by session.

Yet the success of these strategies hinged on incorporating the coaching element of collaborative partnership, which also presented the biggest complication. Therapy is traditionally hierarchical for many good reasons. Could the power of a nonhierarchical partnership—being on the back seat of the bike—be adapted for a therapeutic relationship without compromising its integrity? Would working more transparently and directly with a client help or hurt the goal of therapy?

The more I considered it, the more I saw how a reduction in hierarchy and working “close in” could grease the wheels of motivation. I longed to replicate some of that leverage or ability to boost action within therapy, but wondered how to translate partnership ethically for therapy professionals. Was it possible? I concluded that with enough careful attention to respecting the distinctive boundaries of a therapeutic relationship, enhancing collaboration between client and therapist can add an important dimension to the therapy. In many cases, I saw that it could result in helping clients take action faster, with more behavioral compliance.

To read entire article, click here: https://therapywithacoachingedge.com/translating-coaching-into-therapy/

Or see it at the Psychotherapy Networker Magazine here: https://bit.ly/2uaHgTI