Transitions : My wobbly place for Authenticity

Life is full of interesting transitions. Starting school, university, jobs, dating, moving location, being a parent/ aunt/ uncle and the list goes on…….

What I’ve observed about myself is that at each of these transitions it is usually a time when I feel a little wobbly about who I am, versus who I think I need to be. I’ve tried over my life to put the voices in my head to one side and stick with what I know to be true…. But it’s not easy and I certainly haven’t got it fully figured out.?

So in this post I thought I’d share a couple of ideas I’ve been using and adapting to try to help me not get carried away in picking up an outfit that’s not me and putting on a persona that doesn’t quite fit. You may already be familiar with the literature on the need for humans to fit-in and have a sense of belonging and it’s these natural tendencies that often make me question myself. Then the lovely imposter syndrome starts to kick in and we’re off and away in a merry new land of questioning everything and not knowing what’s the right thing to do…. Or maybe that’s just me?!?

So what are some of the things I’ve found that work for me and the underlying thread across all of these is CONFIDENCE!!?

Trust in others : Particular with transitions where you’ve been picked e.g a new job, if you start to feel some imposter syndrome. Have trust in the person recruiting that they picked you for good reason. I’ve had a number of times where at the start I had NO idea why someone would have picked me for the job over others, but every time within 6 months I could start to see the unique qualities I brought that gave me that Aha moment in knowing why I was selected. An additional learning would be to ask that question before starting, but I’ve always found some weird comfort in finding this out for myself and it may not even match what the hiring manager was thinking.??

Trust in yourself :? The more I’ve experienced transitions the more I have grown in confidence to trust in who I am, what I can bring and the value I can add. What I’ve found really helpful in this space, is to try and pull on a previous experience to help anchor me. You may not have been through this exact experience before but you will have likely been through something that you can draw insights from. Use it!

No-one is liked by everyone : No matter who you think of in the world, there will be some people who don’t like them. So if you want to fit in, having a few people who don’t get you is expected!?

Find what fuels your inner confidence : Do you have a favourite song that inspires you, getting some exercise to boost your endorphins, a big hug from a loved one, wearing a “lucky” piece of clothing. There is often things that can help give us a little unconscious boost in confidence. Spend some time working out what that is for you and take advantage of it when you need to.??

Be kind to yourself : There can certainly be a tendency to start going round and round and over-thinking every last detail. STOP! Go into every transition in a place you feel comfortable, transitions are stressful enough without giving yourself extra pressure. If you go in trying to think about all the things you need to do and be it’ll be hard and it’s highly likely others around you will pick up on that. If you can relax.??

Have someone who can call BullSh1t! : My favourite one depending on the setting is having someone you know well to call you out. A perfect example of this for me was selecting the music for the Impactful Authenticity podcast. I’d spent a long long time finding a few pieces and then sent it to some trusted friends and family to take a listen. It was interesting to hear their views on one where they nearly all said. BullSh1t! This is not you at all. Don’t go for that and they were correct. I’d thrown in something I’d thought might be more appealing to a broader range of listeners but they called me out. The current music is certainly not the hardcore heavy metal that I may listen to frequently at home but has vibes of music that I love and it still makes me smile, feel upbeat and makes me dance in my chair when I hear it.?

Transitions are usually an amazing opportunity. So don’t over analyse just go out there be yourself and enjoy it!?

If you want to hear others share their stories around authenticity, check out the Impactful Authenticity podcast. New episodes released every Monday via Spotify, Apple podcast or Google podcast.

#authenticity #podcast #career