Transition on Purpose: Self – Reflection Essentials: Objectives, Values, Purpose, and Priorities - Part 4 of 4
Dennis J. Volpe
I Equip Others To Be More Focused and Resilient | Leadership & Transition Coach | Trusted Advisor | Veteran Mentor | Author | Forbes Coaching Council | Navy Veteran
“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and where someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.” - Dr. Henry Cloud
The boundaries we set define who we are, what we value, and, ultimately, our ability to get things done. This is an interesting proposition now that we have experienced the Work From Home (WFH) reality over the past several months and our boundaries and priorities may have gotten a bit blurred because of conflicting or competing work and life demands. This is the last in a four-part series on self-discovery to enable us to define what really matters, determine how we will guide our future decision-making, and establish the appropriate boundaries to maximize our personal and professional effectiveness.
How can we think about moving forward in a positive and productive direction? It’s all about personal change management and allowing our desire for change to outweigh the awareness that change is necessary. A key component of that process is to identify the simple basics of our human condition . . . what brings us pain and de-energizes us versus what brings us pleasure and positive energy and enables us to be our best self.
The first step is a mindset shift and recognizing that “embracing the suck” each and every day does not have to be our reality. We must empower ourselves to identify the things we really want in our lives and the things we want to do on a routine basis rather than spending time simply on the things we have to do. The things we want to do are our priorities and they provide the boundaries necessary to focus our effort and energy on what’s most important.
The second step is to spend the time identifying the top three most important things we want to focus on right now as we continue to move in a positive direction. Three and only three . . . any more than that and we tend to lose focus.
The third step is to define and accept our current reality and then describe what success looks like. More simply, grade ourselves and provide the grading criteria we plan to use moving forward. What evidence will serve as proof that we succeeded?
The fourth step is about making a commitment. What will we commit to doing to focus on each one of our top three priorities. When making a commitment it’s important to do so with a SMART lens. Be Specific, make it Measurable, make it Actionable, make it Realistic, and put a Time hack on it!
The final step is establishing our own personal defensive perimeter with regards to those people or activities that de-energize us as well as putting systems, boundaries, and people in place to minimize their occurrence. You guessed it . . . the process is very similar but a little different. What is that one thing that truly de-energizes you? More simply, what can you get rid of that will have the greatest positive impact on your well-being? Once identified, describe the negative impact, describe what success would feel like, and make a SMART commitment to reduce that negativity.
As an Executive Performance Coach, one of the key components to SMART goal achievement is identifying an accountability partner during the “make it Actionable” step. That is yet another reason why developing our Tribe is vital to our personal and professional success. So, take some time this week and think about these questions:
? What are the three MOST IMPORTANT things you need to prioritize right now?
? How do you define each of those areas? How do you describe success in each area?
? How would you grade yourself right now?
? What is your SMART goal to move forward in each area and who is your accountability partner?
? What one thing can you get rid of that will have the greatest positive impact on your well-being?
Dennis Volpe is a Principal Leadership Consultant and Executive Coach with the Leadership Research Institute. He specializes in Emotional Intelligence, Resilience, Team Effectiveness, and Decision-Making. He focuses his efforts on Performance and Transition Coaching for Emerging Leaders, proven mid-level Executives, and Military Veterans.
President - Ingram Capital LLC
4 年The defense perimeter is a great idea. Setting boundaries and creating a plan to limit or eradicate distractions and what de-energizes you makes perfect sense.
I help motivated students develop the confidence to make purposeful life decisions without wasting time, money or simply following the crowd.
4 年It is often much easier to develop a routine of ‘multi-tasking’ and staying busy with little focus on the activities that will actually propel us forward. Thank you for this strong and actionable blueprint Dennis Volpe
I appreciate these articles as they are providing the real life approach to move forward. But more impactful are the conversations I’ve had with you about these things. Keep up the good work.
Leadership Development | Executive and Professional Coaching | Team & Process Facilitation | Culture Change
4 年Thanks for including me in the discussion, Dennis Volpe. A tool that I recommend to my clients is based on the book and research of Drs. Kegan and Lahey on Immunity to Change. It's a worksheet that is pretty simple, but can be so very powerful once you know how it works. Generally, it helps us to see what is getting in our way of making changes in our lives - even when we really want it to happen. It talks us through what other commitments we might have that make change hard and makes us document the assumptions that we have about what it will take to make the change. Highly recommend it for anyone who is struggling with personal or professional changes.
Are you paid for your time or your attention? | I help leaders own their attention
4 年Finding the THREE most important priorities to focus on is tough in an age with so many opportunities pulling at our attention. While tough, is it essential if want to have an impact. Thanks for the actionable wisdom Dennis!