THE TRANSITION: Part 4 of 7 - 3 Inclusive Communication Tips Managers Can Use To Build Trust During COVID

At times of crisis and adversity, employees look to leaders for courage, inspiration and reassurance. The voice of the leader, be it through email, video or voice note, becomes more critical than ever. 

While technology has allowed us to work from home, one key factor we're all missing is our need for "human connection." Non-Verbal cues account for over 70% of our communication exchanges. So with technology, we miss out on key cues needed to help each other feel seen, heard and included.

The crisis provides a great opportunity where leaders can leverage the power of empathy and compassion to build on existing communication skills to help your staff feel connected to you and each other.

There are still ways to continue building on that connection. Research shows that what we say and how we say it can incite empathy, which can lead to increased trust, more collaboration in teams and increased results, a skill that is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Empathy is one of the most valuable components of emotionally intelligent conversations.

The right words can help your employees either feel "included" or "excluded." Tone, language, what you say and how you say it can either cause more hard than good and can show your employees how much you care.

A basic greeting like "How are you?" now places enormous pressure on employees to come up with an "appropriate response" that fits in with the "Working from home" shifting culture many are trying to work through. Use curiosity as your guide to connect in a meaningful way. 

Here are some tips to guide you through that challenging project, to address that miscommunication that happened via email or to enhance the quality of your check-in with your staff.

Add these to your "Communication Tool Kit" and let me know if any of the points below added value, and helped you build trust in your day-to-day interaction with your employees.  

1. Use curiosity, empathy as a guide, leverage the life-changing art of asking without telling

“Questions are taken for granted rather than given a starring role in the human drama. Yet all my teaching and consulting experience has taught me that what builds a relationship, what solves problems, what moves things forward is asking the right questions.” - ― Edgar H. Schein, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling

Leverage the skill of emotional intelligence, use curiosity as your guide. If you find yourself automatically agreeing or asking the same question on autopilot without actually being present for the response, chances are, your brain fog has taken over your interactions. New conversation prompts is a great way to re-ignite! Below is some inclusive conversation prompts designed to ignite curiosity, build trust and deepen the connection between you and your employees.

• Tell me more about that
• I'd like to hear more about that
• I understand that you would like to
• What I hear you say is 
• I'd like to talk about

ps: If you're using Slack and other groups to communicate, use company approved fun graphics and prompts. I've shared a sample we created for a client below.

pss: I recently attended a webinar where Chief Leadership, Learning and Inclusion Officer, of IBM Debora Bubb, shared some excellent resources on tools their Managers are using to engage and destress employees. More from HR Executive here.

2. Communicate with curiosity and go beyond "How are you?"

Go beyond "How are you?" How are you can become a trigger point and can place lots of pressure for employees to come up with the "right" answer. Help with the mental overload by removing the pressure by using curiosity, trying different ways or prompts to check-in. I came across this post from Psychotherapist, Whitney Goodman, who provided some great tips on checking in with others. More on her work below.

3. Address the "Elephant In The Race Room."

"Bias increases under cognitive load." - Dr David Rock, CEO, Neuroleadership Institute

Address the "Elephant In The Room." Recently Dr. Erin L Thomas, Head of Diversity and Inclusion at Upwork, shared a few tips on communicating with racially and culturally diverse employees. Yes, you do need a different strategy to communicate and connect. Doing so also helps with decreasing your own bias as you address with curiosity and empathy, the challenges Asian and Black employees might be going through.

Note that if you are White, racialized employees face another layer of emotional tax. The burden of trying to explain the impact places further stress on your employees. Having someone who looks like you eases the burden and gives that immediate sense of "feeling seen and heard." Ensure that there are racially and culturally diverse wellness practioners in your EAP offerings.

1. #1: Acknowledge this reality - In your next 1:1, say something like “I’ve been following the data on the impact of the virus on the Asian/Black community. My virtual door is open if you want to talk through how this is affecting you and your loved ones.”
2. #2: Start/continue regular emotional checks - Don’t just ask folks how they're doing. Have them give you a number on a scale of 1 (I need a personal day) to 10 (Feeling great!).
3. #3: Invite flexibility - Consult with folks on HOW and WHEN they need to work.
4. #4: Ask employees what they need from you- How? Say “What do you need from me?” (vs. “Do you need anything from me?”)
5. #5: Build community - Encourage employees to stay/get active in your company's sub-communities, including ERGs & social clubs. And always share information re: how to access your Employee Assistance Program (EAP)./10
6. #6: Begin proactive productivity check-ins. Have your directs predict their capacity for the week on a scale from 0-100%.

More from Dr Thomas here.

Here are some questions you can use to communicate with racially diverse employees. Don't wait for them to come to you, they're already carrying the #racial and #emotionaltax - so be proactive and use the following prompts to communicate with empathy. If you are uncomfortable with this, then you are on the right track.

• I don't know what's it like to see the lives of loved ones or people who look like me killed or threatened daily. Let me know how I can support you.
• What would support look like for you?
• Is there someone else you would like to speak to, other than me? Note that if you are White, racialized employees face another layer of emotional tax. The burden of trying to explain the impact places further stress on your employees. Having someone who looks like you eases that burden and gives an immediate sense of "being seen and heard", increasing relatability. Ensure that there are racially and culturally diverse wellness practitioners in your EAP offerings.
• How can I make your day easier?
• I don’t want to assume that you are ok or that you are not - I want you to know that I am here for anything you need.

Communicating with intention, with empathy and compassion will require a little bit more effort from you during the crisis. Be patient, keep practicing and most importantly, know that your employees will remember how much you cared way beyond the end of this crisis.

Let me know what your biggest takeaways were.

About The TRANSITION:

The TRANSITION is a 7 part leadership series hosted by Karlyn Percil, CEO of KDPM ConsultingGroup Inc, a Leadership, Diversity, Inclusion and Workplace Wellness consulting firm that offers transformational tools, training and workshops, grounded in the science of human behaviour, positive psychology, and neuroscience, to create impactful human and organizational change.

Episode 3: The Transition: Part 3 of 7 - Psychologist On How To Master Difficult Feelings To Cultivate Lasting Resilience

Episode 2: Managing Work and Home Relationships Whilst Working From Home

Episode 1: 5 Research-Based Strategies on Leading Through Change