Transition ; Dear VA

Transition comes for all of us, mine is underway. The VA lets me write a statement to back my claim. I think much of the process and aftermath hidden away in the waiting rooms and nursery homes of our nation often gets overlooked on the 363 calendar days of the year not starting in Memorial or Veteran, so I wanted to share - not for recognition or "thank you's" but to pay homage to those I mention on my journey:

To the Men and Women of the VA,?

Of the claimed current disabilities, it is hard to bifurcate my time overseas with any of the conditions based on the time and frequency of which I have deployed over my career.?

In my 19+ years in my career, I’ve deployed 14 times to Iraq and Afghanistan, for a total of 4.47 years.?I've received 2 Purple Hearts, a CIB, and multiple valorous awards.?In addition to shrapnel, I've sustained concussion or blast injuries from an IED in 2006, a hand grenade in 2008, a rocket propelled grenade launcher in 2012, and a neck injury from a vehicle accident in 2018.?I have jumped out of a perfectly good airplane 65 times, sustaining one additional concussion from a hard landing.?

But during my time overseas, I’ve also been exposed to burn pits where we burnt our own trash and excrement within a couple dozen meters from where we used to eat and sleep. I rode in vehicles where we rotated Soldiers’ seats driving to and from an objective because if the same person sat next to the jammer in our vehicle for more than one leg of the trip they would throw up. I carried multiple radios with antennas and amplifiers on my back. Like many others, my vaccination record is 4 pages long with everything from 12 anthrax boosters to shots for typhoid, yellow fever, COVID-19 and Japanese encephalitis. I’ve been on anti-malaria medicine off and on since 2008, taken pain medication and anti-inflammatories for almost 2 decades, received 9 MRIs, many with contrast, and countless X-Rays. I’ve had left ankle surgery, 2 right shoulder surgeries with one pending to replace it, a neuro-spine stimulator implant, and 2 spine fusion surgeries including 2 rods and 6 screws.

I’ve witnessed a litany of dead bodies, including enemy combatants, friendly casualties, and wounded civilians. I’ve made decisions that have ultimately contributed to the death of some of my men to accomplish our assigned mission. I’ve seen some of our best never come home in one piece, and locals I partnered with torn to shreds.?When an elder was left by his fellow Afghans, I put on rubber gloves and walked through an uncleared field to recover pieces of his body. My creed necessitates I never leave a fallen comrade.?

I’ve stood beside Rangers in comas, whispered encouraging words into the ears of others with trachea tubes in their throats and those rendered unconscious to tell them I was proud of them, that I loved them, and that I prayed for their recovery.?I knew full well they’d never be the same again, partially because of decisions I had to make.?I’ve visited the families of the fallen, stood next to them at their loved ones grave, and shared the burden of their loss as best I can.?I’ve watched families of the wounded struggle through life altering events and the challenges that endure when all the pomp and circumstance falls away, the clapping stops at sporting events for recognition, and they’re left to deal with a deformed loved one, countless surgeries, and a future they never envisioned.?

And then, amidst processing all that, I’ve watched our hard work in Iraq in 2014 evaporate with the rise of ISIS and watched the horrific scenes of Afghans plummeting to their death clinging to the sides of American aircraft as we expeditiously vacated Kabul Airport in August of 2021.?The images, the additional lives lost, and the email and social media inboxes that have yet to stop filling with pleas of assistance from the other side of the globe. They arrive at random times and provide no respite from ripping off yet another recently formed scab.?Not all wounds are visible, including moral injury.?

I sincerely appreciate the thoroughness of this process and hope the service and sacrifice of my whole self, along with the opportunity cost of lost time with my family and the trauma I've carried home is appreciated. I've never claimed to be a perfect man, just one who swore to uphold an oath for a more perfect union. My only request is my body and mind, along with my wife and children, are properly cared for. I'm proud of my service and would do it again given the opportunity.

President Lincoln said it best in his second inaugural address – a phrase that now stands outside many VA buildings: "With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan ~ to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations."?

My work isn't done, it will just look different in the future - then again, I just consider myself lucky to still be here and honored to carry on the memory of those who have gone before us. #RLTW