In Transition
In December of 2007, my girlfriend, Cory, and I were expecting a baby (she was 2 months pregnant at the time) and busy packing up our apartment in Ukiah, CA.
Two of my best friends , Josh (who was working Construction and living in Missoula, MT) and Steve (who was going to school at Carroll College and living in Helena, MT) drove out to help us move.
A long day of packing up and then driving from Ukiah to Klamath Falls, OR was the first leg of the trip. We had to stop because the roads were getting too icy and we were heading into winter weather.
The next day we drove from Klamath Falls to Coeur d’Alene, ID. Another of my best friends (basically my older brother ) Eric, who had been the Vice President for Student Services at North Idaho College (NIC) for a year and a half let us use his garage and agreed to let Cory and me live with he and his partner, Jake, for the time being.
January – June of 2008 Cory and I lived with Eric and Jake. It was a small house so we were in the basement (which Eric and my group of six best friends helped him renovate during the summer of 2006) while they lived upstairs. It was tight but we made it work.
Never in my life did I imagine I would be in this situation……..
Walking out of the BW Lodge Gymnasium at Beaverhead County High School (BCHS) in Dillon, MT after high school graduation in May 2006, if you were to ask me where I would be in two years certainly wouldn’t be here.
I probably would have told you Hawaii just living the dream. Instead that was short lived and my second plan of playing college football was also over, so here I was…..
The first time I lived in Coeur d’Alene I thought that it was one and done. But again here I was….back in Idaho.
Growing up in Dillon my view and experience in Idaho was minimal. Idaho Falls was a 2.5 hour drive away, Pocatello was a little further, and we really only passed through driving to Arizona, Colorado, or California to visit my family. I dated a girl when I was a junior in high school and went back and forth to Salmon, ID (2.5 hour drive over the mountains) and that was probably the most time I spent in the State as a kid.?I always looked down on Idaho. Why? No clue, just did……it was never in my future plans. All that in mind, even though I frowned upon Idaho you would never catch me living full time back in Montana. That was even worse than living in Idaho to me. Why? I’m not sure, just the mindset I developed as a kid. Once I flew the coup, that was it, living in Montana was a closed chapter in my story. I still feel this way, it’s not as visceral or aggressive, and I would own property there but wouldn’t go back to live full time.
Life has a way of humbling you and teaching you lessons. For me, I think this was my biggest lesson and test of my life. The on-the-way baby forced me to start a career in higher education and settle in.
Over the course of 1.5 years I had lived in Honolulu, HI, Coeur d’Alene, ID (Cd’A), Dillon, MT, Ukiah, CA, and back to Cd’A and attended the University of Hawaii at Manoa, NIC, Mendocino College, and was back to NIC.
领英推荐
Living in Dillon for a little over 17 years (May 1989 to August 2006) I wasn’t used to all of this change and bouncing around. Sure, I lived in one house, on California Street, from May 1989 to March 1998 before we bought a new house and moved to Cornell Street. But I still lived with my mom, dad, and younger brother, Kyle . From 1998 until May 2002 that was the case in the new house. My parents then divorced, my dad kept the Cornell St house and my mom moved over to Center Street. Despite this change, I still had my family unit. Going back and forth to mom and dad’s houses was a nice change for Kyle and me. In other words, I lived in 3 houses in a little over 17 years. We did move three times in Yellowstone National Park, WY but I was a baby and don’t remember that.
Now though, I was on my own, trying to find my way in life and Plan A and Plan B didn’t work out leading me to Plan C. Most of my freshman year (Fall 2006/Spring 2007) I was a full-time college student. Part of my freshman year and the start of my sophomore year (Summer 2007/Fall 2007) I was a college athlete. Spring 2008, I was a working college student and heading into being a student with children……..Non-Traditional by definition.
Mentally, I was in survival mode. Dropping out of college to get a job and provide for my baby was never an option. Moving back to Montana was never an option. But being close to Montana; (my dad, mom, and brother were in Dillon, three of my six best friends were in Helena, and two of the other six were in Missoula and Cory’s family was also in Missoula); made sense. Eric was in Cd’A so I had my mentor/best friend/brother and a level of comfort close by. Coeur d’Alene made the most sense given the circumstances and my stubborn views.
Needless to say the uncertainty of my future, only being in a relationship with Cory for 5 months before the baby was on the way, going to school, working, and becoming a father was crushing pressure for me at 20 years old.
All but 3 credits from the University of Hawaii transferred to NIC (I took a 300 level elective class; Europeans in the Pacific; that didn’t qualify in the community college ranks) and all of the Mendocino credits came over. I declared a major in Business Administration and attended NIC for the spring 2008 semester. First off, it was odd being at a college I had already attended with all of the moves I had made but it was also nice to not have to learn new systems.
Because of everything going on in my life, for the first, and only time, I had to withdraw from a math class; Finite Math; which was just a kick me while I was down moment. Math has never been my strong suite. The instructor was teaching in his final semester before retirement, didn’t care, and I was not understanding it. The option was either fail or withdraw. So I took the ‘W’ and not in a ‘win’ way.
At UH Manoa, I did so poorly on the math placement test during orientation I didn’t even place into a class. I had to take a month-long intermediate algebra refresher course from the Outreach College on top of the 14 credits I was taking just to get up to speed. The final was the placement test, which I placed into a math class, but ended up transferring. At Mendocino, the UH experience helped me place into Intermediate Algebra, which I took and passed with zero issues. Intermediate Algebra was the pre-requisite to my arch nemesis; Finite Math.
In June, Cory and I found our own apartment across the street from Eric. It was another basement apartment, but it was our own space. Two-bedroom, one bath, a kitchen, and a living room. It was all we needed, affordable, and allowed us to create a ‘baby room’ since the baby was due on June 28th.
I finished the spring 2008 semester completing 11 of the 14 credits I started with. Times were hard, uncertain, and dark but it was also the hardest part of the storm.
It’s easy to get down when your vision of life is completely thrown off. But it’s also important to not quit when these times get tough. Even if it isn’t the greatest you’ve ever been, you still have to keep going. That is the only way you’ll get through the storm.?
-- Alex deGolia