A call for reconciliation between progressive and traditional values: Transgender Day of Visibility 2023

On this transgender day of visibility, I write as a Singaporean trans man who has grown up in this city state, and is deeply concerned on emerging divisive positions regarding the validity of our identities. At TransgenderSG.com, Singapore’s transgender resource platform, we regularly receive appeals for assistance from the community and their families. Over the years, I’ve come to see that our lack of public and private discourse, conservative values and beliefs has been significant counterpoints to more progressive values. This results in the creation of social rifts, hence this article does not shy away from them, but hopes to bring reconciliation.

Transgender persons are an occurrence of nature. We have existed since the beginning of humanity. As with things of nature that are expressed in a bell-curve, transgender physical expression and identities are also likewise varied. For a strongly male-identifying child assigned female at birth (AFAB), he would be self-aware of the incongruence from a young age – some from as young as 3. If disabled children are whole in the sight of God, then likewise are transgender persons. And like any other medical condition that can be helped by science, our condition, which is diagnosed as Gender Incongruence, can be eradicated with social or medical transitioning.

I speak as someone who buried and fought my own identity for more than 20 years, believing it to be of the devil. But the self-suppression increasingly crippled me until I had to deal with it, and I finally found acceptance with God and myself. I then spent a further two years slowly transitioning and bringing my family and community along on the journey. In pursuing authenticity, my family lost many friendships and places of belonging, but the critical ones survived and new accepting spaces emerged. This journey of self-acceptance has led me to a place of deeper empathy with all people, and a broader concept of God.

Many of our transgender youths are at the risk of committing suicide. There are also those who go through extended periods of desiring to transition to the opposite gender, but then decide it is not right for them. The difference usually boils down to whether it is a life or death decision. This great variance requires parental discernment and the reviewing of reliable sources of information, in order to support young transgender individuals to live their lives fully without regret. SAFE Singapore runs a support group to help parents in their journey.

The ability to change our gender marker is important for enabling equal access to employment, marriage and housing in Singapore. It is also for our personal safety when travelling to certain countries. In Singapore, changing the gender marker requires a person to undertake high-risk, high-cost surgeries that he or she may not medically need, to achieve a complete change of genitalia”, which is a definition that cannot be medically supported. I know young transgender persons who struggle with having to give up their dreams of starting a family due to this self-sterilisation requirement, just so they can have their gender marker changed. This unnecessary stress further holds them back from becoming fully contributing persons in society.

I've heard countless stories from my community of how they worry about when or whether to come out during job interviews, and if they should come out to their workplaces. Many continue to hide their identities, and that compartmentalisation sometimes has a cost to mental well-being.

The civil service is Singapore's singular largest employer. From anecdotal evidence, and having been openly transgender in the civil service, I can share that LGBTQ+ persons choose not to come out in the civil service because they fear it might compromise their careers. They want to avoid trouble. I have personally come across very supportive management in the civil service. However, when those words of support are only spoken to us individuals and not to the organisation, it does not create a supportive environment. While official policies have indicated that there should be no workplace harassment of any kind, it remains important to explicitly name the forms of diversity, so that none of the minority are invisible. I am writing this because I do not wish to see our nation divided. Instead, there is great opportunity for greater unity through evolving how we embrace diversity. Only when we have openly Queer senior management in the civil service; only when teachers are allowed back in schools to teach after they have transitioned - then we would have made some progress in representation, which symbolises that our society is alright with trans identities.

In addition, it is my opinion as a DE&I practitioner, that workplaces with a predominantly Singapore work culture would further benefit from mandatory unconscious bias training, as well as Employee Resource Groups for employees to share on different forms of diversity. Through appreciation of diversity, accidental ostracisation experienced by all minorities would be reduced at the workplace. When people are able to trust each other fully and operate without fear, you will find your teams to be more productive and creative.

There remains much to be done to become a trans-inclusive society. We cannot achieve this by ourselves in the transgender community. Inclusion requires broad cultural acceptance. So if you support the cause for full equality, wear a pin, whether it is the transgender or pride colours. This will help those who cannot risk being visible. And be prepared to peacefully share your reason for support to those who ask.

And I will keep on advocating until others enjoy the privilege I do, to bear no shame in embracing the totality of their past, and to be empowered to live in full authenticity for their future. We will know when we have achieved equality when there is no longer a cost to be invisible or visible in society.