Transforming Trauma into Triumph: The Power of Impossible Goals

When a man jumped off the bridge in front of my truck, I ran over him, and he didn’t survive. My life changed forever.

It took me seven months to realize that this event wouldn’t define my outlook for the rest of my life. Before that, it was soul-crushing.

It took me another six months to become comfortable telling the story.

A traumatic event becomes a crippling moment, and for many, it triggers a downward spiral that compounds negative after negative. Compounding is excellent financially. Compounding is a demon when it comes to trauma. It becomes a negative multiplier that drives every thought, action, and certainty. It impacts you at home, at the office, and socially. That’s what trauma causes when you frame it as something that happened “to me,” which is a victim mentality.

When I joined a mastermind group, I learned the importance of reframing the past as something that happened “for me.” Reframing a tragic accident as something that happened “for me” wasn’t easy, especially since the accident cost the life of another human being. If I’m being totally honest, I struggled with the idea of reframing someone’s death as something that happened “for me.” It sounded selfish and insensitive. I struggled with that concept for months. I didn’t want to tell the story from that perspective. It wasn’t until several people said, “This story will help other people,” that I realized the power of sharing and vulnerability. That’s when I understood the idea of reframing the accident as something that happened “for me.”

This is one of the hardest things I’ve been through. I still have moments when I “see” the scene from that night in my dreams and the 20–30 times I’ve driven by the scene where it happened.

I’ve learned that the past shouldn’t dictate your present. Your present should find meaning in the past. You can’t change the event. Our superpower is allowing the present to define your past by finding meaning and purpose in it. Because of this event, I’m on a path to give to many more people. Hope IS possible after trauma. One tool that helped me overcome trauma was dreaming about the future. The future allows you to look forward with hope. You can discover “The Future You.” As Dan Sullivan says, “The only way to make your present better is by making your future bigger.”

Going through trauma makes feeling awful and angry easy. I became bitter. It’s hard to overcome that feeling. It’s easy to feel like you have a “right” to stay sour. It’s also a great reason to dream big. It will feel counterintuitive when “not giving a crap” feels much easier.

The Process of Change

I started journaling in October 2023 when I joined Dr. Benjamin Hardy’s 8-Week Challenge. This mastermind group taught me to journal. I focused on writing about my past. It took a few months to gain value. My first real ah-ha moment was when I was writing about my childhood. I thought a lot about my younger brother and me. Sports were a big part of our lives when we were young and still are today.

I was writing about how my childhood shaped me, and in one of my journaling sessions, I recalled my brother and me playing in our room. We had wooden bunk beds. I remembered standing on the top bunk, holding a small bible they used to give away in school, and pretending to preach to the congregation below. The only member of the congregation was my 3-year-old little brother. That sparked something in my soul. I wish I could describe exactly what it felt like to remember that moment over 40 years ago. The best I can explain is it triggered this deep emotion. It was an emotion I had never felt up to that point. I realized that I had a new goal. Yet, it was a feeling like I had already been there.

When I remembered that memory of pretending to preach, I recalled the excitement of wanting to speak in front of large audiences. I didn’t want to put my pen down. I kept writing and couldn’t get my thoughts and words out quickly enough. I put my pen down and started voice-recording my thoughts. I was having a massive breakthrough. It wasn’t until I played back the recording and began taking notes that I realized just how massive it was. I knew right then and there that I was changing my life. Don’t get me wrong, there weren’t any flashing lights or signs saying “life-changing moment,” but I could tell this was different. I knew I wanted to become a Professional Speaker. I had the urge to keep digging deep into my past. I was discovering the tools to start dreaming big. The feelings I got thinking about big dreams and looking forward to becoming my future self pulled me out of the hole the accident put me in. More importantly, it changed how I saw my life up until that point.

I realized that I had been living a life of routine. I wasn’t achieving big things. By most people’s measurements, I was already successful, but I was determined to no longer live in the day-to-day. I was going to dream big and find new ways of living. I wanted to upgrade everything in my life.

My excitement isn’t unlimited. I still have low moments when I’m not as excited about being the future me. Sometimes, those moments last a couple of weeks. But I can overcome these low moments by journaling all the benefits I will receive by achieving more.

Impossible Goals

Dr. Benjamin Hardy calls big goals “Impossible Goals.” Bigger goals require you to change the way you operate. The more outrageous the goals, the better. These Impossible Goals force you to do things differently. They challenge your thinking and assumptions and force you to make different decisions. Realistic goals don’t often require much change.

Have you all heard the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Yet so many of us recycle every day so that each new day looks like the day before. We live by that definition of insanity.

To achieve Impossible Goals, you have to change everything. Change your mindset. Change your tactics. Change your approach to life. It would be best if you upgraded your inner circle because we become the environment we are in. It would be best to let go of your current routines because what got you here won’t get you there.

For example, I used to love editing my videos. It would take me 2–3 hours to edit a 1-minute video. (Actually, saying that out loud seems pretty stupid now). If I’m honest with myself, I wasn’t a great editor. Now, I pay someone to edit my videos in 1/3 of the time it took me to — and they create better videos while I work on higher-value things. I used to coach High School football, and I love that hobby, but it required 30+ hours a week during the season. So, I had to stop coaching full-time to do higher-value activities towards my Impossible Goals — like starting a new company.

It’s very uncomfortable removing routines. It changes your focus to quality, not quantity. That’s why so many avoid doing it. Most people don’t realize the difference between higher and lower-valued activities because they don’t actively pursue goals. Most people navigate life according to their day-to-day routines. We need to change these routines to get better outcomes.

It’s not uncommon for people to question Impossible Goals. Many people aware of my pursuit of Impossible Goals didn’t think it made sense.

There is tremendous value in exploring your past. I learned that time is not linear. It was a game-changer when I learned not to let the past dictate my present. As an example, having a traumatic event like the one I experienced tends to impact you. The event happened in the past, but it affected my present negatively. Instead, I began focusing on my future. I started listing potential Impossible Goals. I determined there were a few things that I wanted to do.

In October 2023, I settled on these Impossible Goals for myself and what’s been accomplished:

• Start a new company: Leadership Squared, founded in January 2024
• $250k in Revenue in 2024: Leadership Squared, $100k through July 2024
• 20 Paid Speaking Gigs in 2024: Six through mid-July

One year ago, none of these goals were on my radar. I can’t stress that enough. In all likelihood, you have a better future that you haven’t even thought of. When I determined what I wanted in October 2023, I didn’t know how to accomplish them. They seemed genuinely impossible. Now, seven months into the year, they are not only possible, but they are also attainable. I had to change how I operated daily. I had to choose a different path than the one I was on. I’m in the process of raising the floor even more. These goals are going to be raised again.

Once I realized I could change the meaning of the accident from something awful that happened “to me” to something that happened “for me,” I started dreaming of becoming The Future You. Once I committed to big goals, the path required for me to achieve them was very different from the path that I was on. Before the accident, I was living in the day-to-day. My life was full of routine. I wasn’t focused on goals or accomplishments. I was unconsciously letting other people dictate my days. I didn’t take control of my path. Now, I have total control of what I’m going to accomplish. I take inventory daily of my progress towards those goals.

I once heard that if you tell your Impossible Goals to the person you care about most and they don’t laugh, your goal isn’t big enough. When I told my wife I would do a TEDx and write a book, she laughed — a lot.

What would I have to do to achieve being on a TEDx stage? I determined I needed to find someone who had already done that. I hired a speaking coach, Dr. Kevin Snyder, CSP?. I told him I wanted to become a professional speaker and tell my story of recovery from my accident on a TEDx stage within five years. He made me apply to a TEDx event within two weeks.

Four months later, I told this story to a TEDx audience on stage.

Over 100,000 people watched this story in the first month. I’m very thankful for the many people who have shared their stories of trauma with me.

• TEDx — completed April 2024 and approved for the TEDx site June 2024

As I said earlier, I never dreamed of being a TEDx speaker. That was absolutely impossible for me one year ago. So many people want to balance setting challenging goals with a realistic outlook. But that doesn’t excite anyone. Advocating the importance of genuinely

Impossible Goals can be motivational. Creating a path for Impossible Goals makes progress much easier.

“Imagination is more important than Knowledge.” — Albert Einstein

10x is Easier than 2x

Dr. Hardy and Coach Dan Sullivan’s book, “10x is Easier than 2x,” explores the concept that aiming for exponential growth (10x) is easier than incremental growth (2x) because it forces you to think and act fundamentally differently. They argue that pursuing 10x goals requires:

1. Innovation over Optimization: To achieve 10x growth, you must innovate and create new systems rather than optimize existing ones. Your current pathways won’t take you to your Impossible Goals.
2. Radical Focus: Achieving 10x requires a laser focus on what truly matters and eliminating everything that doesn’t contribute to the goal. This is what they refer to as the “80%.” Removing layers of “things” in your current pathways and focusing on the 20% is where you will find your flow.
3. Mindset Shift: A 10x mindset pushes you to think bigger, question assumptions, and embrace transformative ideas, leading to more significant breakthroughs.
4. Resource Leverage: 10x goals necessitate leveraging resources, talents, and networks more effectively rather than relying solely on personal effort. This is why their book “Who Not How” was so compelling. You have to raise the floor of your inner circle to accomplish significant tasks.
5. Quality Over Quantity: Focusing on high-quality activities and relationships that drive significant impact rather than spreading efforts thinly across many tasks.

By adopting a 10x approach, individuals and organizations are compelled to elevate their thinking, adopt more creative and bold strategies, and ultimately find it easier to make substantial progress compared to the incremental changes needed for 2x growth.

Adopting Impossible Goals has changed my life forever. At first, one of my biggest struggles was staying focused on my 20% — those Impossible Goals. That meant I had to let go of everything in my 80%. I wasn’t accustomed to letting go of things. That meant I had to admit to doing things I shouldn’t have done. By eliminating the 80%, I created space for higher-value activities. I realized I was so used to “being busy” that it was hard to recognize my error. Platinum Elevated Mastermind Coach Chad Willardson says, “Being busy isn’t a badge of honor.” Our hustle culture in the U.S. portrays being busy as a good thing, but it’s holding us back. It wasn’t until I started focusing on outcomes that I realized how much “trash” was in my day. To achieve Impossibly, my path required an upgrade.

These past few months, I’ve learned that “Giving more value to the world brings more freedom to me.” I’ve retrained my brain to accept and celebrate progress. The power of the future can drive your actions in the present. Pick something that you want. Dream the impossible. Your future you will thank your present self.

When Life Smashes You to Pieces, Will You Stay Broken?

When a tragic accident shattered my life, I thought the pieces could never be put back together. It took months to realize that this event didn't have to define my future.

But here’s the truth—your past shouldn't dictate your present. It’s your present that can give meaning to your past.

The power of reframing is profound. Once I stopped seeing the trauma as something that happened “TO ME” and started seeing it as something that happened “FOR ME”, everything changed. It wasn't easy. But nothing worthwhile ever is.

This journey taught me the transformative power of setting seemingly impossible goals. These goals forced me to change my mindset, rethink my routines, and raise my standards. The results? I’m committed to helping others do the same, not just surviving but thriving.

Are you stuck in the cycle of day-to-day monotony? Are you tired of waking up each morning to repeat the same routine, knowing deep down there’s more out there for you? It’s time to leave behind the comfort of the familiar, the safety of routine, and the quiet resignation of “good enough.”

If you’re ready to shatter the status quo and step boldly into “The Future You,” keep your eyes open. Soon, I’ll be unveiling an opportunity designed to kickstart that transformation. This could be the moment you’ve been waiting for. Stay tuned.