Transforming My Homophobia into the Fight for LGBTQIA+ Rights

Growing up in a conservative environment typical of the 80s and 90s, my family was Catholic, and I attended mass every Sunday. My adolescence was split between life at a convent school in Campinas, a traditional city in S?o Paulo's interior, and holidays in Três Cora??es, a small town in the interior of my home state Minas Gerais.

I always appreciated the effort my parents made to provide a good education for my brother and me. My father left his job at a large engineering company for a budgeting position at a small company in Campinas, ensuring we could grow up in a good and structured city. My mother secured scholarships for us to attend a private school and an English course, both contingent on our performance. All their efforts granted us the best possible opportunities given our reality, but also they ensured we would grow up in the traditional environment of a Catholic school in one of the most traditional cities in the country.

However, there was always a counterpoint to this conservatism at home. Despite growing up in the Brazil of the 50s and 60s, my parents emphasised a progressive education and taught us to be very open minded.

In the 90s, homophobic jokes were widely accepted and spread. Being gay was a source of shame for both the individual and their family. In the environments I frequented—convent school, my apartment building, and among friends back in my home state—there were "no gays." The rule was to maintain an insecure masculinity to avoid being labeled gay for crying, not laughing at homophobic jokes, or not wanting to binge drink with friends. The traditional worldview was clear.

Within this environment, I never considered myself homophobic. I thought the jokes I made were harmless, just part of our cultural banter. I knew plenty of "great gaúcho jokes" (referring to people from a region in Brazil who were often stereotypically labeled as gay) and always shared them with friends. I persistently called S?o Paulo soccer fans "bambi" (Bambi is a deer cartoon, and in Brazil, the animal deer has a homophobic connotation) during football discussions and shouted "bicha" (faggot) at the stadium when the opposing goalkeeper took a goal kick (a common homophobic chant in Latin America in the 90s). Astonishingly, I didn't mind that, in football circles, "bambi" seemed more offensive than "pig" or "thug" - abusive nicknames for other football teams in S?o Paulo. Homophobic expressions were part of my routine, all within the "socially accepted" norms of the time.

As life progresses, we are shaped by our experiences, interpersonal relationships, the books we read, and our environment. Over time, I met diverse individuals who broadened my perspective and fueled my personal growth. The more I evolved, the more interesting people I encountered, and this continuous cycle of meeting, reflecting, and philosophizing about the world around me led to further evolution. I found that engaging with people who were free to be themselves created a happier and more productive environment, enriching my understanding and appreciation of authenticity and diversity.

I found it more enjoyable to talk about politics, work, cinema and music than to argue about football, and that an environment where people could be authentic was incredibly more productive than one with "social conventions" to follow.

I then realised that I was indeed homophobic and felt a painful shame for my behaviour and the harm I caused by endorsing comments and making "jokes." I understood that a homophobic joke is never just a joke as it deeply hurts someone. The thought of negatively impacting someone's heart is very distressing. I began to reflect on the difficulties my gay friends faced in this hostile, aggressive, retrograde, and conservative environment. How much harm was caused by a lack of empathy and respect? I imagined how challenging it would be to come out of the closet in such a pressure-filled environment and concluded that I wouldn't have had the courage to do so in the 90s if I had to. These reflections were tormenting.

When I joined Out @ In in 2016 (LinkedIn's ERG for LGBTQIA+) I specifically understood my role as an ally of the LGBTQIA+ movement. I not only needed to abandon homophobic comments and macho social conventions but also advocate for the cause. I needed to speak up whenever I heard such aggression. I would always take a stand, in any setting. Initially, it seemed difficult because people would label me as politically correct, as censoring others, as policing. But believe me, it is always worthwhile.

Gradually, you transform your surroundings, explaining and encouraging reflections in people. No one is born a bad person, racist, sexist, or homophobic. People are simply molded by the environments they grow up in, making this transformation process much easier than it seems, both for oneself and for those around us. Today, we live in a world surrounded by information available all the time, where we are no longer dependent on what was taught in our upbringing environments.

My change occurred over the last 20 years, and the process is transformative, believe me. I am so proud of the progressive outlook my parents have today and their ease in adapting to a more inclusive world where people stand against prejudice. If they, who grew up in the 50s and 60s, managed to transform, and if I, a self-admitted homophobe in the past, understood my role, anyone can exercise a minimum of empathy for others and also change and start to take a stand.

Being part of a company like LinkedIn reinforces these values.

Companies need to understand that creating an environment of open, honest, and constructive communication where everyone can express their true selves brings measurable financial results and benefits people's mental health. It creates unity. It fosters pride in belonging. It reinforces culture and values. It increases engagement and makes the world a better, more inclusive, and empathetic place.

Today, I have friends who confide in me about their sexuality and career even if they haven't come out, and we deeply discuss the role of companies in LGBTQIA+ inclusion. We talk about how executives should position themselves to create healthy environments and how many should seek employment where they can fully express their talents without hiding who they are. The deep pain I felt when I discovered I was homophobic has transformed into enormous pride today, being able to discuss people's careers from the perspective of LGBTQIA+ inclusion.

We need to create a world where people don't need to "come out" to simply be who they are. We need to create a world that accepts and respects people as they are. It creates unity. It fosters pride in belonging. It reinforces the culture and values of a world inclusive enough to transform this vicious circle into a virtuous one, allowing the next generation to grow up with values shaped by a welcoming and empathetic environment.