Transforming Grief into Resilience

Into each life some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary.

-????????? Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

To appreciate this statement, listen to my conversations with Ghulam Fernandes. Find Part 1 of a multi-part series of conversations with Ghulam below. I am so grateful for these conversations. My conversations with Ghulam, and all who have crossed my path, have added tremendous value to my life . . . I hope that all who listen to them also find great value in them.

The Question Guy Podcast! Lost in a Sea of Grief (Part 1)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UfumVIanXQ

These conversations are more than just episodes on a podcast or playlist . . . they are now part of my life’s transformational journey. I hope they become a part of your life’s story as well. I have become the man I am today . . . proudly . . . because many of you have shared your vulnerability, pain, fears and frustrations with me. Further, you allowed me to record those conversations for the world to hear.

More than anything else, we learn by listening and sharing our humanity. We share this in story. Many times, we learn the most from the bad experiences that occur in life. And as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once said, each of us will experience hardships, problems, and troubles. What we will learn today is that we can overcome those days when the rain falls, but we need each other to make it through the darkest of times. ?

Let’s learn from these experiences.

Ghulam experienced a series of losses in her life beginning with the death of her mother when she was only 13 years old.

What Ghulam learned . . .

·???????? Suppressing her emotions only made life worse, especially over time.

·???????? Unresolved grief cumulates over time.

·???????? Life is fragile.

·???????? Be grateful for the time you have.

·???????? Grief impacts each of us differently and uniquely.

·???????? People may be uncomfortable (even fearful) talking about grief and loss.

·???????? Creating an open dialogue around grief is needed to heal.

The Question Guy Podcast! Lost in a Sea of Grief (Part 2)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7MJ2WqP_LQ

?What Ghulam shares with all of us . . .

Navigating Loss

Each of us must learn to navigate the experience of loss in our lives. We will all experience it. This does not mean we will all experience the death of a friend or loved one. Loss could mean losing a job or becoming severely ill. Nonetheless, having the insight to pivot around these losses is essential for growth and good health.

The Myth of Strength

You don’t need to pretend to be strong because that is what others expect of you. In fact, don’t suppress your emotions at all. Give yourself the permission to grieve . . . feel the fear, worry, anxiety, and frustration of the loss. Bottled up emotions will eventually come out . . . the body stores the trauma. And when stored too long, the body will let it all out.

Existential Questions

What is life? What is the meaning of life? Loss causes each of us to reevaluate our circumstances and situations. In fact, you may decide that what you understood about life was all wrong. Or your previous ideology about life may no longer serve you. It’s okay to make changes in your thinking in order to effectively address the losses in your life. Ghulam will tell you that it’s okay to take a new path through life. ?

Regrets and Guilt

When faced with grief and trauma, we often second-guess ourselves. Meaning, we reflect back to all of our life’s decisions, consider the end result, and lose faith in ourselves. I know this was true for me when I made my second suicide attempt. Know that this is the brain’s way of reconciling the situation. Don’ be fooled! This situation is only temporary.

Resilience

You, too, can learn to be resilient. And Ghulam Fernandes can help. Learn more about Ghulam and her ability to help you recover from grief.

Site: Handling Grief ( handling-grief.com )

Book a discovery call with her today: Select a Date & Time - Calendly

More from Keith J McNally . . .

Suicide Survivor

As a two-time suicide attempt survivor, I recognize the importance of human connection. When I wanted to die by suicide, I had no one to turn to, to trust in, or tell my story to. This is a lonely experience . . . an experience no one should go through. My mission is to have the conversations . . . and to change the conversation . . . so we are connected and feel validated for our own feelings.

Your Story Matters

If you have made the attempt to end your life, let’s talk. I would like the opportunity to share your story with the world. If you have been left in the wake of someone who has died by suicide, please share your story with me as well.

And if you are still grieving the loss of someone close to you who ended their own life, I know people who can help.

Disclaimer: If you are currently facing levels of stress in your life and are contemplating suicide at this moment, reach out to the credentialed professionals who can help.

SAMHSA & 988 Suicide Prevention Hotline

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline | SAMHSA ??? ?

About the Author

As an author, podcast host, and purpose-driven/leadership coach, my goal is to help you to redefine your life, get out of your “stuck” situation, and explore your world so you can create real purpose for your life. My book, Walking the Path – A Leader’s Journey is a must-read for anyone looking to create real impact and meaning for themselves and others. I have a heart for those who find life intolerable and frustrating (even scary) because I’ve been there. My goal is to have the conversations with each of you so that you feel appreciated, valued, and secure in yourself. Talk soon!?

-????????? Dr. Keith McNally

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