Transforming Challenging Clients With Curiosity, Love and Boundaries

There are two primary driving forces in the world: Love - and the lack of love.

You might think the opposite of love is hate, but from what I've seen, the opposite of love is simply the lack of it: indifference, numbness, being closed-off.

 Love is an interesting word, because we've associated it with warm, mushy feelings - with sentimentality and romance.

 My own experience of love is that it's something more encompassing than that. It something more raw, more vibrant, something that was never meant to be expressed purely 'behind closed doors.'

 It is a resonance that can reach us at the highest heights and the darkest depths of our existence without ever losing its potency.

 Love is the most powerful form of alchemy in this universe. 

 It has the power to transform the world - starting with how you treat yourself.

 That self care you give yourself radiates from you, into every single person you connect with. Whether it's in a checkout line, or your business partners, co workers, friends, lovers, family... you radiate into the world whatever you cultivate within yourself.

I've found this to be true in all aspects of life - including witnessing how love transforms relationships in business. One of my duties as COO of Cubatica is to connect directly with certain clients on their projects. I'll share strategies, creative ideas, help plan out scaling for the companies, things like that.

I've had clients who were just so flowing and excellent to work with - and then I've had clients who have seemed to make it their life mission to resist and fight everyone and everything around them.

My knee-jerk response in the past has been to want to push back when people try to 'fight' with me. But after years of working with people, I've come to see that sort of fighting response in others is a form of communication. It may be habitual. It may be rooted in fear of not being heard. Whatever it is, I've learned that resisting resistance only creates more of the same.

So instead, I've practiced active listening, with love, without judgement with some of my more challenging client interactions. I've found when I approach these challenges with openness and curiosity, people either phased themselves out of my life, or it completely transforms their attitude! They shift from fighting to coming together.

In specific, I have one client who no matter what we did with their campaign, there would always be something negative to focus on. Even when we hit record high months for their business across the board, the focus was how a chart hadn't been created exactly to their specifications! However, instead of holding a spirit of frustration towards them, I started to internally focus appreciation at them. I communicated internally how much I was enjoying the project, and how far I was looking forward to us growing together.

You know what happened? After a week or so of this focused, loving energy, combined with holding that energy in ALL my communications with them - something started to shift. They started to laugh on our calls together. They started to be more at ease, almost as though they trusted the team and I more. Instead of criticizing, they started focusing on being excited about what was being created. It was like a complete transformation!

Now, to be clear, WE aren't changing others. People choose to shift themselves. However, providing others with a space of understanding often gives them a lot of room to make that shift naturally. Instead of hostility, they found a willing teammate, curiosity, warmth - a group interested in working with them, from a place where ALL parties are respected and considered. And they chose to come meet us there.

I can tell you, it's improved the morale of all the teams involved, and has helped us with creativity and productivity.

You can apply this kind of gentle, curious, loving-boundary type of interaction in all areas of your life - business and otherwise.

 I'm reminded to share this, because I feel we could use more voices that focus on the importance of inner to outer creation, and how we change our environment simply by being - then taking inspired action from that being.

 There are already too many voices that take it upon themselves to tell us how to 'do things' to make ourselves worthy, how to feel good, how to feel successful, how to be the person we're always striving to be by pushing.

 Let's add to the voices that remind us that who we are is already a full, whole human beings here and now - and that we can experience in our day to day life even more as we cultivate trust, respect, and deep relaxation within ourselves - no matter who we are and what we have or haven't done, we're worthy of it.

And that even the most difficult people and situations are really opportunities for us to love more fully, more completely - ourselves and the world around us.

 I've heard it all - there's no bullshit you can tell me to convince me that you or anyone else out there is not worthy of love.  

 Consider this a reminder of the power of this raw love, and to healthily douse yourself with it, each and every moment you remember and feel inspired to. 

 If it helps, you can start with something more simple. Just a remark of appreciation for yourself now and then. Let it gain its own momentum.

 Thank you for taking a moment to read this and consider this for yourself. Appreciate you. Appreciate the world around us all.