The Transformative Power of Personal Loss On My Leadership Style

I’m mourning the passing of two close friends.?

While I was aware that their health wasn’t great, the loss still cut me deep. Nothing can prepare you for loss. But I can take comfort that they lived a long and vibrant life. They rose to the top of business, academia, and international development.?

I’m lucky to have called them close friends and allies over many decades.?

But this painful chapter of my life has given me a deeper understanding of leadership. As I write this article, I’m sitting in my favourite cafe in Melbourne on a busy Monday morning. With the smell of coffee in the air, I’ve been reflecting on the values and principles of leadership.??

Here’s what I’ve discovered.

1. My two friends could not be more different?

Both in their worldview and approach to leadership.?

But one is not better than the other. They both achieved outsized success given their starting point in life. Leadership can and should come in all shapes and sizes. I no longer believe there’s a one-size-fits-all approach to how to lead and influence people.??

I’m proud of the progress we have made as a society.?

The world has moved past the days when only one type of leadership model was accepted as ‘normal.’ The world is too complex and change happens so rapidly.

We need new types of leadership to take on the challenges we face in the 21st century.

Inclusive leadership does not mean everyone must be a leader. Rather, it recognises that diversity in thought, experience, and approach is not just beneficial but essential to meet the challenges of the 21st century.

In my role as President of Confederation of Asia-Pacific Chambers of Commerce and Industry (CACCI), I’ve had the privilege of working with a group of young people from all across Asia though our Young Entrepreneurs Group Asia-Pacific (YEGAP).?

These young people are changing my understanding of leadership.?

They embrace vulnerability, talk about their challenges, and are open with their weaknesses. It’s an approach to leadership that my generation needs to embrace more. We can’t solve our problems using the same leadership styles that created them.?

2. Leaders are missionaries, not mercenaries.?

I’ve always admired how my friends stood strong for their beliefs.?

Being a leader is not always convenient. You’ll attract judgment and criticism, but it’s an inevitable part of leadership. True leaders are driven by a mission larger than themselves. They are committed to a cause, a vision, or a set of values that transcend personal gain.?

This missionary mindset is what fuels their resilience and determination in the face of adversity.?

My late friends embodied this spirit in their own way. They were never swayed by the allure of easy success or the temptation to take shortcuts. I’ve seen them have to make personal and professional sacrifices to stay true to their principles.?

Despite the downsides, they remained focused.?

I’ve been inspired to apply this mindset to my work at the Good Business Foundation. Our focus is supporting small-to-medium enterprises (SMEs) in emerging markets. While this group is critical to the economy, they are often forgotten by government and institutional investors..

But despite the challenges, I’ve committed my time, money, and energy to this mission.?

3. Leadership is not always a designated role.

I grew up admiring my father.?

Not just because he cared and loved me. But I respected his leadership style. While he held

many formal business roles, he showed me from a young age that leadership is an act, not a title.

He instilled the lesson that every day you’ve got a choice to be a leader or a follower.?

Over many decades of business, politics and philanthropy, I’ve held formal and informal leadership roles from Mayor, CEO, funder, founder, board member, plus many, many more.?

But from my experience, some of the most impactful leaders are those who lead from behind the scenes. They influence and inspire through their actions, their integrity, and their commitment to their team’s success.?

You won’t see people win awards for this work.?

Leadership can manifest in small, everyday actions – in how we treat others, in the decisions we make, and in the courage we show in difficult times. Leadership is rarely a big act or event. 95% of leadership happens in tiny, seemingly inconsequential, moments.

This perspective has guided me throughout my life and career.

Reminding me that leadership opportunities are everywhere, not just in boardrooms or executive offices. It’s about stepping up when it matters, whether or not you have the title to back it up.

The lessons drawn from loss are tough but invaluable.?

As I am finishing my coffee, I realise how much of an impact my friends have had on me.?

I can’t help but smile at some of our memories together and how the lessons from their lives will remain a guiding force. Their unique leadership style, resilience, and their work gives me inspiration to continually refine and change my approaching to leading.

Personal loss is never easy.?

I miss my friends dearly and wish I could have one more conversation with them.

But while loss is inevitable, you can sometimes gain insight from it too.?

Till next time,?

Peter

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