Transformation is not temporary change. Such alteration of behavior is usually externally imposed. So when the imposition is removed, the behavior returns. Cars mysteriously slow when someone else is being pulled over on the side of the road by a patrol car. Why? Logically, it is the best time to speed when someone else is occupying the officer's attention. But we slow down from the reminder of a consequence, not because we convert from the activity of speeding.
Likewise, in your life, you have had many instances of change due to the imposition of an external force - parents, teachers, bosses, pastors, spouses, etc. But how often have those temporary alterations of behavior resulted in genuine transformation? Even internally, there is a regulator that operates in a similar fashion. It, like the stern teacher, keeps you in line - but only for a time and never from the heart.
- Replace lesser desires with more powerful ones. For example, I want to eat cake and I want to lose weight. These two desires are in conflict. Which one wins? The stronger one. If the winner is not the one I want, success is not obtained by shaming myself or ignoring the desire, the solution lies in supplanting that desire with a greater one that aligns with my real goal. If I want to lose weight then I've got to cultivate a desire greater than my craving for cake. That desire needs to align with my true self in a deep way or else it will collapse in front of a donut shop. Perhaps "losing weight" is too puny a desire, but the image of a healthy me playing catch with my grandson, or me crossing a marathon finish line will be strong enough to counter the desire for instant gratification.
- Refine a plan. The Dallas Willard quote above gets at this. No one drifts their way into transformation. A destination is defined and a pathway is charted to achieve a goal. Plans are as unique as you are. Don't fall into the trap of just imitating another's flight path. Seeing how others accomplish is instructive, but it is not a straight-jacket. Talk to or online stalk people who have accomplished what you want to do. LinkedIn is uniquely powerful for this. Simply search your goal and follow the folks talking about that goal. Learn from them (for free), test out your own ideas, get clarity and then iterate a plan based on that learning. Come back to it regularly to review and refine.
- Celebrate progress. You are not a robot; you need to stop periodically and celebrate your achievements. It sounds humble to just keep marching, but it's actually a form of backward pride. When you stop to see the advance, you are humbled by the growth, by the people who helped you along the way, by what you've learned. Celebrating (and receiving kudos) is the best thing you can do to keep motivation for the long haul that significant goals take. To be great at anything means that you will be terrible at it for a long time :) Celebrating the milestones helps you to see the journey as a joy and not a burden.
To change deeply - cultivate powerful desires, refine a plan and celebrate progress.
?? Multipotentialite | Grant Generalist | Organization Enthusiast | Project Coordinator
2 年Great article! And I would add that transformation happens not because of a moment in time such as New Year's Resolution or because of preparing for a big event. Transformation happens in the routine patterns of life when you keep waking up, keep trying, keep failing, keep learning, and keep succeeding. Eventually, those patterns get embedded into our genetic makeup.
Mediator ? Attorney ? Thirty years of litigation experience
2 年Love this quote! “No one drifts their way into transformation.”
AI Marketing Strategist | Nonprofit Innovation
2 年https://www.dhirubhai.net/newsletters/the-nonprofit-leader-6889964925670744064/ https://nonprofitleader.substack.com/