Transformation Begins When You Do This

LIFE LESSON

Many of my posts are written in my head as I take walks around the neighborhood. There's something about the way this exercise puts my brain on a different frequency, allowing thoughts to filter to the top of my awareness. One such thought surfaced earlier this week:

People who speak ‘victim’ can’t understand the language of accountability.

It can get pretty dicey when using the word victim. It tends to activate defensiveness in some (usually among those who are still healing from physical or mental wounds). When I refer to a victim mentality, I sometimes get accused of victim blaming. I can understand where some may interpret it as such. But it’s not.

For the record, and to make it clear: I do not support, celebrate or intentionally wish to cause others pain or harm. There is a way to empower yourself.

Accountability.

In addition to drawing your personal power back to you (its source), owning your choices also activates a polarity that attracts other people who are in a position to help you. Every time you own a choice and overcome the circumstances that surround it, you get stronger. As the baby chick who gains strength by pecking out of its own shell, your ability to take responsibility for your actions gives you strength.

Once you’ve learned from your experience, you’ll have the ability to recognize when others are stuck in the same place you were. What’s more: you’ll have the tools and insights available to help them.

A few years ago, I remember reading the book, If Life is a Game, These Are the Rules, by Cheryl Richardson. Something she wrote stuck with me: “…until you face a situation and internalize the lesson from it, that same situation will be presented to you in various forms until you learn it.”

Facing up to our choices helps to release the energy attached to it — liberating you and allowing you to level up to the next stage of your life’s journey.

LIFE HACK

Many times when our lives are falling apart, we want to take a wrecking ball to the whole thing and build anew. Other times, we’ll prescribe a geographical cure and start afresh somewhere else. Sometimes, these options work. However, if they are not a viable option for you today, my advice to you is to quiet your mind and choose just one small thing over which you have control and change it.

In order to effect change, you must have focus. If this is a skill you haven’t honed, your first attempts at influencing your outcomes will be messy. The good news is, like any other skill, the more you practice, the better you get.

1. Quiet your mind.

2. Ask yourself, “What (or where) will the logical extension of this action (fill in the blank) in my life take me?

3. Is this my intent? Is this acceptable? If ‘yes,’ then keep up the good work. If ‘no,’ proceed to question four.

4. Where do I want to go? Decide and then WRITE IT DOWN.

5. What small thing can I change right now that will get me closer to where I want to be? (e.g. omit something, change a habit, start a new one).

6. Lather, rinse, repeat.

7. Adjust course as necessary.

The more you practice these steps, the shorter the lag between questions 1 and 7 becomes. You’ll be able to assess the need to change on the fly. Furthermore, you will become more in tune and aware of the need to change. Spoiler alert: Just having the awareness that something is off kilter is a skill in and of itself.

Remember, the Queen Mary is steered by a very teeny rudder in comparison to her overall size. Your life’s trajectory is similarly constructed. It is our own consistent actions, regardless of the size, that determine where we go.

Never underestimate the power of small things done consistently and well as a force for change in your life.

TREAT

My youngest daughter turns 30 years old on Friday, so to celebrate, I’m giving YOU a present. When I turned thirty, my mom sent 30 individually-wrapped presents to me at the newspaper where I worked at the time. She died in 2020, so having this memory of her means a lot to me. If you would like a treat, simply send a self addressed stamped envelope to me at the address below, and I'll send you something from the swag grab bag!

SURPRISE ME

MCK PRODUCTS

P.O. BOX 47295

CHICAGO IL 60647

P.S. Remember: every day you are “born” anew. You get another day to celebrate Being.

P.P.S. Want to step into your life in an authentic, powerful way? Want to become a conscious creator of your life instead of a bystander? Ready for the abundance and vibrance that comes when you embrace who you are and what you wish to be? Learn more by reserving your free ClarityCall? using the linktree link below.

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If you’ve enjoyed the #3MR, check out my linktree , where you can buy me a coffee, book a free ClarityCall?, check out merch, my books and more.

An author, media consultant, life coach and speaker, Molly Cantrell-Kraig has been recognized as one of CNN’s Visionary Women, been profiled by both the Christian Science Monitor and the Shriver Report. Cantrell-Kraig has also been interviewed on the Women’s Media Center and the BBC, speaking on such topics as women, independence, gender roles and life transitions. As a catalytic change-agent, Cantrell-Kraig is a self-described work in progress whose focus is on helping others achieve their goals by sharing her own experiences.